| May 7, 2006 @ 4:58 PM |
'the one'
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monica82
Posts: 6
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My current boyfriend of 2 months told me last night that I am not the one.
While I don't think he is the one I will marry, I WOULD NEVER TALL HIM THIS!!! I am hurt that he would tell me this! And he can not understand why this upsets me.
Am I being oversensitive?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 5:02 PM |
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holding4u
Posts: 1,096
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It does hurt, but better to know up front than build a relationship that is not there and be hurt worse later.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 5:06 PM |
'the one'
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Well, at least he was being honest with you. As Holding said, better now than further down the road when it could be harder to break away, or you come to think he IS the one you want to marry.
But gosh, you are so young....get out and meet a bunch of em-you'll know when you meet "the One" 
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| May 7, 2006 @ 5:14 PM |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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You've gotta respect him for his honesty. He could have led you on and would have been hurtfull when the end came. Now you get to make a choice!
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| May 7, 2006 @ 5:25 PM |
'the one'
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w_i_c_k_e_d
Posts: 37
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I think saying something like that, regardless of thinking it, kills hope of any future, as that would likely be in the back of your mind, even if you are 'just dating'
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| May 7, 2006 @ 6:16 PM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,495
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lol, but she said she knows he isn't "The One" either... it should be a relief... or did she hope she was leading him on?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 6:53 PM |
'the one'
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w_i_c_k_e_d
Posts: 37
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it just seems silly to me to say it. Does it need to be said?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:18 PM |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,495
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said or not.... why not? isn't it kinder to let someone know not to hold out for hope?
if there is no future... some people would prefer to bail out...
of course since I feel I have a limited future, I've already bailed out of most long term goals....
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:24 PM |
'the one'
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,473
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You are not being overly sensitive.....it is a sensitive matter to be told the truth and you certainly do sound upset but what was said to you was and is the truth.
If he said you were the ONE and married you and then woke up next to you one morning and said, "You know, I should have told you this along time ago but did not have the nerve to do it....you are not the one for me....I care for you but I am not In Love with you" Where would you be?
Why does this truth upset you? Do you fear you will never be "the One" for someone else? Afterall, you also know he is not the One for you either. You both know it, he just said it out loud.
You already knew the truth. What about him saying it outloud disturbs you?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 7:27 PM |
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monica82
Posts: 6
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I don't know.
I really liked him, and had not really given it much thought if he was or not (honestly) until he said that. Now I think that someone who said that, obviously is not. I think of other guys I dated, we may have known it, but to say it kills any future. Now I don't want to see him, and he can't understand why.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:08 PM |
'the one'
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,473
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(((((((Monica)))))) I am sorry for your current suffering.
I fully understand the pain of thinking someone could possibly be the one but when all is said and done, it turns out he is not the one.
The journey towards finding the one who is meant for us can be long and at times heart breaking. But it is a journey we all seem to go through by the very fact that we are human and do indeed seek UNION with another.
It is also difficult to feel rejected.....maybe that's what you are feeling? I don't know. I do know that often Love takes time, yet Love Presents itself to us in unimaginable ways when we remain open.
Honour your sorrow or whatever it is you are feeling in whatever way you need to, but please, by all means, remain open. Explore the exact nature of you current suffering by going quietly within and allowing your most gentle heart to hold this sacred sorrow.
If you listen, your true sorrow and fear will be made known to you, and in the process you will more fully know your heart and its subtle yet immediate communications.....communications that are critical pieces of information that will keep you open and truthful to your own personal needs and inner experiences in the future.
Peaceful evening, dear heart.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:18 PM |
'the one' |
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monica82
Posts: 6
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Thnak you for your kind works.
I don't want to see him anymore.He does not understand why.Could you contiue to see the guy after he tells you that?
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:27 PM |
'the one'
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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I am not sure how any guy could say that after just dating you for 2 month's. I can see why you would not want to see him any more..Yes he was honest but I know if I heard those word's that I would never see that person as I used to. It would make me feel like that person has not taken the dating serious at all. If you did not feel like he was the one then it will make it easier to get over him but I would still give yourself some time to heal.
I just would never want to hear those word's from someone I date nor would I tell them that I agree that experiencing any type of rejection is hard. I think we have to take every experience we have and grow from it. I have been rejected so many time's. I just get stronger and wiser from those experience's. I don't dwell on it but take time to heal and move on. It is never easy but one day in time you will meet someone and it will worklout. You are so young. I would just go out and have fun dating.
Here is a  for Angelight. That is some great advice and so insightful. well done.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:40 PM |
'the one' |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,473
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Monica, then do not see him anymore. At least for now, as you may change your mind once you are able to sort things out for yourself.
It matters not if he can't understand why you no longer wish to continue on....it does matter that you understand why, and again, only you can discern the reason how what he said triggered something very painful within you.
If I knew someone was not for me and vice versa, I might continue to date if the dating were casual. If I had strong feelings for this person and we had been in an apparently committed relationship for some time (much longer than two months) I would not continue to see him if he told me he felt I was not the one for him.
It would hurt like hell, but I would much rather deal with the truth than with a lie.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 8:50 PM |
'the one'
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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I think it was perfect... The way it should be.. If your not the one, well your not the one. Some of those that know me, know I only date for 90 days. In 90 days I should know enough about this person, if I want to continue it or not... If not, she will be told.. Dating is just a elimination process, looking for "the one".. Don't be sad, move on and fid Mr. Rght!!
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:06 PM |
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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I agree with Atone,your boyfriend told you that your not the one after just two months,thats only his honest speculation of your friendship.It sounds to me like thats all you both ever really had because of what you said about him not being the man for you.
I don't want to see him anymore.He does not understand why
He still wants you as a friend,thats why he doesnt understand your running away from him.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:24 PM |
'the one'
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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[/QUOTE]I don't want to see him anymore.He does not understand why[/QUOTE]
While he was being honest and upfront with you, he's a dumb@ss to think you'll want to continue dating him.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:33 PM |
'the one' |
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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Isnt that what friends are LSU79? Honest and upfront with each other?
I know were talking dating here,not marriage.
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| May 7, 2006 @ 9:53 PM |
'the one'
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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I know were talking dating here,not marriage
yea, I know, but in effect, he told her they have no future together, and since she considered him her boyfriend, that sounds pretty much like the kiss of death to me
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| May 7, 2006 @ 10:02 PM |
'the one' |
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Atone74
Posts: 335
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Why do people get so pissed, when all they are trying to do is be honest with them and their emotions. It's like some rather be lied too.
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