| May 14, 2006 @ 1:58 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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The bus topic sparked this question in my mind.
After being married for 33 years (1 year single in the middle)
After feeling unattractive to females for the last 17 years of that 33 years .... (my ex wife was my ONLY yardstick)
After trying very hard with emails for a year on a local singles site (and getting about 99% no replies)
After reading all the gals talking about all the emails they get from horny/miss matched/dorky/OLD/weird/perverted/fugly guys
I bet I have not tried to initiate contact with 5 females in the last year on the net
I don’t recall trying to talk to a single female (that I viewed as attractive) in person in the last year.
It took me a week (maybe 10 days) to get up enough nads to send a gal that I was interested in (from her profile) an email. And that only finally happened when a girl here gave me an idea.
Out in the public (I work from a home office so don’t get out that much) when I see an attractive gal - I don’t say a word to her - I don’t even smile anymore at them - if they smile at me a give a little smile and move on. I let myself off the hook by telling myself they are no doubt taken.
On these singles sites - I tell myself - she is nice looking and no doubt gets 10 emails a day - I am not interested in being some smuck trying to get her attention. I am not interested in being the topic of her next “loser post” she makes.
I have NO idea what to do with the emails I get “can we be friends” - I get plenty myself - I can only assume a nice looking gal gets 10-20 times as many - I don’t want to clutter up her inbox (be just another smuck).
I am getting more and more and more gun shy EVERY DAY 
How is this assertive/gun shy battle going for you guys/gals as the years drag on?
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:01 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Will some kind girl here throw Ron a little something? 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:04 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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<------- Tosses "little something" 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:25 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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I bet I have not tried to initiate contact with 5 females in the last year on the net
As Woody Allen said, the secret of life is showing up. If you write them a polite, short note, they may ignore you (most will because you're right, they do get tons of them), but they're not going to think of you as a smuck.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:27 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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soul_decisions
Posts: 872
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great minds think alike  I was thinking of posting how courageous are you? would you stop a stranger just to give a compliment because you found that person to be attractive and hopefully it would lead to a great conversation or just to get a reaction? I have done in the past and hope that by doing so it made them feel great but also it built my self-esteem. I am going to do this again.......I have told myself I need more than just chatting with someone online. I need to get out in the public eye and I need to make someone feel good, even if it's just "I like the cologne you're wearing"
Ron I think you have alot of offer someone 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:28 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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You dont really believe there arent any ladies interested in you if you contact them because they claim hundreds of emails received that are just deleted or ignored do you? I dont believe any of it.We men that are serious on here havent a need like many women do to make it "look" like we are always the hunted one by claiming to be the hunted one.Ive seen those that claim thousands of emails that go unanswered.
Yea...right.
Ive also seen the women that have great profiles that are intelligent and are gorgeous that wonder where the single men are or why they dont get contacted.
What does that tell ya?
It tells me that its all summed up between the serious and the players.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:31 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,792
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It tells me that its all summed up between the serious and the players.
I`m very serious..and its going good for me...
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:37 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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I`m very serious..and its going good for me
Yes you are one of the serious Tinker because if I remember well awhile back you posted something about not having found anyone that you were attracted to on here for anything more than friendship...yet.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 2:45 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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I was gun shy...but now I step forward..How is one to find someone to share of themselves if one does not take the step..I am more careful and dont trust or believe now as much as I did in the beginning...but if I weed thru the junk stuff one day my sweetie will be there in front of me.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 3:26 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Checkmate
Posts: 185
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lol
Sure, I take a step or two forward also. Then I trip, walk into an invisible wall, realize I shouldn't have stepped that way or they step away! 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 3:37 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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waterfire
Posts: 2,930
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I am not gun shy, if I meet someone and see or hear something I like I will say as much without expectations but do love it when a laugh or a good conversation happens.
Ron, relax, weather they are married or not interested in a relationship there is no harm in just being a fellow human being and saying hi, you will find they are no different than you, they want their day to have those little notes of laugh/intrigue regardless of source and reasons. Be honest (up front), be yourself and just enjoy with no expectations.
[Edited on 5
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| May 14, 2006 @ 9:42 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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Ok Ok - I like to try to make people think - think about themselves. I use me as an example. (I posted this topic on two sites at the same time)
This was never suppose to be a “poor Ron” pity party or I would have said .....
“what should I do” boo hoo sniff sniff
But said .....
“How is this assertive/gun shy battle going for you guys/gals as the years drag on?”
Well - it sucked for me so did a few things. I actually went to a couple of sites (that I had profiles on for a couple of years) and ... got busy vs just seeing their reminders hit my email inbox.
- I stopped rolling around in my self pity
- I started busting my butt
- I started turning over ever rock
- I started to look look look
- I made a 18 hour a day “job” out of it
- I started posting on the forums (does anyone remember I just showed up here a couple of weeks ago - right out of the blue???)
- I started casting off rejection like it never happened
- I mentally removed EVERY “restriction” from a female’s profile (only if I was interested in her)
- I remained just as selective as I have always been (aka too picky for my own good - but hey it is in my genes)
- I stopped being passive
- I remained fully awake and focused
- I stopped the old “it will happen when you least expect it” (yeah sure she is going to knock on my door - sure)
- I got my butt in gear
My incoming emails have increased 10 fold (at least) - I am still not sending very many - if anything I got more focused on exactly what I am looking for -
Results ..... YES - I have some dialog going with - not my 5th choice - not my 3rd choice - the #1 person I became interested in. Nope I have no idea where it will lead. I am honest and sincere - I hope she can see it. Am I going to go back to sleep now and sit around wishing NO WAY. I am fully awake on my search - I am ready RIGHT NOW.
If any “fence sitters” are reading this and wishing you were with someone special to you ........
GET YOUR FANNY GOING ............ and best wishes. 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 9:54 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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Soooo...
Players love to waste peoples time.
What does this tell me?
Your a player.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 9:59 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,792
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Yes you are one of the serious Tinker because if I remember well awhile back you posted something about not having found anyone that you were attracted to on here for anything more than friendship...yet.
Over my Gun Shyness..and things do change... 
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| May 14, 2006 @ 10:53 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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Thanks for the insult Jankia - you have no idea how wrong you are - there is one of you in every crowd. Insults people right out of the blue for no reason.
So - do you feel like a big shot now? - Do you really think insulting other guys makes you look HOT in the eyes of the girls ??? It don't.
For the rest of you ........... think about my nest post before this troll mouthed off.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 10:55 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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All of you sane people - think of the message in this ..... all of you trolls - bite me.
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
I go to the movie and I go downtown somebody keep telling me don't hang around
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
Then I go to my brother
And I say brother help me please
But he winds up knockin' me
Back down on my knees
Ohhhhhhhhh.....
There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
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| May 14, 2006 @ 11:08 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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Insults people right out of the blue for no reason.
I only insult liars who claim this...
I bet I have not tried to initiate contact with 5 females in the last year on the net
and this...
I am getting more and more and more gun shy EVERY DAY
then this...
ES - I have some dialog going with - not my 5th choice - not my 3rd choice - the #1 person I became interested in. Nope I have no idea where it will lead. I am honest and sincere - I hope she can see it. Am I going to go back to sleep now and sit around wishing NO WAY. I am fully awake on my search - I am ready RIGHT NOW.
My incoming emails have increased 10 fold (at least)
I am honest and sincere 
Us "trolls" dont welcome liars,thankyou.
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| May 14, 2006 @ 11:17 PM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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so whats the story here? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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| May 15, 2006 @ 12:09 AM |
Just how Gun Shy are you?
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Lee_Danger
Posts: 4,505
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I'm confused
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| May 15, 2006 @ 12:34 AM |
Just how Gun Shy are you? |
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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FIGHT...I wish both Ron and Jankia good winks and deep water.
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