| May 17, 2006 @ 12:58 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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I have dated a few guys that were really nice, but had small children.
I would/could not connect with them because I don't want to raise
anymore kids. Mine is grown and the thought of having small children
around ALL the time... well, I just can't do it. 
Am I being selfish or does anyone else feel this way?
Not getting involved with someone that has younger kids?
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| May 17, 2006 @ 1:24 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Nope, that's not being selfish at all, it's purely a preference of yours, and we all have plenty of preferences! I don't feel the same way as you, but my daughter is just 7 years old, and besides, I want at least one more child if I ever meet the right woman. It wouldn't be fair on everyone else if you became involved with a guy with small children, because you really wouldn't be into the relationship 100%, and no child ever deserves less than 100%....
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| May 17, 2006 @ 1:34 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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Cupcake43130
Posts: 1,747
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Not a bit selfish. I wouldn't feel bad about it at all. It's your life and your choice. I have 2 kids....10 and 12.....and I have ran into men who don't want to get involved with someone with younger kids...and that's fine. I respect that. I wouldn't date someone with toddlers, Older kids , yes. My kids are pretty self-suffcient now and I couldn't handle young ones again. My 2 took all my patience away!!! There are plenty of empty nesters out there....go get ya one girl!!!! 
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| May 17, 2006 @ 1:39 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Zula said... I have dated a few guys that were really nice, but had small children. I would/could not connect with them because I don't want to raise anymore kids. Mine is grown and the thought of having small children around ALL the time...
 Ahem, no kids here. 
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| May 17, 2006 @ 1:50 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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Being 50,I spent my time raising 5 children during the years it was meant for.My only marriage was to a lady with 3 young girls.Even though I never loved her the way I want to love someone if I marry again,I would do it all over again just for the joy of raising those girls,my two kids and the friendship I have with them today.But that all started when I was 30.
Your not selfish in my view,your just 41.
We have to make some point in our lives caring just for ourselves and our significant other the goal because time does go faster as we get older.
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:05 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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Thanks guys... I do feel better now
Don't get me wrong --- I do love kids... especially when they
belong to someone else.
I have ran from a relationship because he had younger children.
Like China said no child ever deserves less than 100%....
and I agree ...
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:19 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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You are very wise to follow your feelings, Zula. If you were to try and ignore them and go with someone with small children, you, the guy, and the kids would all lose out.
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:38 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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I would prefer no more kids but if they had some it would be ok
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:42 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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sweet_n_small1
Posts: 753
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I guess it would depend on how much I liked the guy. I imagine there are plenty of men out there that would not want to date a woman who has two teenage boys either.
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:44 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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wandaful123
Posts: 1,511
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Like China said no child ever deserves less than 100%....
and I agree ...
and I agree! We are all entitled to make our own personal choices in life regarding what kind of relationship we are seeking.
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| May 17, 2006 @ 2:47 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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because I don't want to raise
anymore kids. Mine is grown
When I started dating again in my 40's my kids were small (guess they still are), and I ran into several women who felt the same way. I've never taken it personally, and I really can't blame them. I'd probably feel the same way if the situation was reversed.
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| May 17, 2006 @ 3:32 PM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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mangolover60
Posts: 635
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Well, as far as someone with a kid, that would depend on the little bastard. 
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| May 17, 2006 @ 5:00 PM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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walkingman
Posts: 639
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My girl's are 12 and 14 (15 in sept ). I can't imagine at 41 having any more kid's.I would prefer someone with kid's grown up or at close to my girls age's . I also know that if I really connected with that special lady then raising more children would be be fine as I have met the lady that I wlll grow old with. The love would be what I would cherish most.
[Edited on 5
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| May 18, 2006 @ 12:08 AM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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Neicey
Posts: 8
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[B][I]I don't think you are being selfish at all, I feel the same way . My kids are grown too. But I guess it would really depend on my relationship with the guy.
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| May 18, 2006 @ 12:23 AM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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dowens
Posts: 869
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You're not selfish at all......personal preference is all you're describing!
But, can I make a comment on a personal pet peeve of mine?!?....... I have 3 great girls.....but, I hate when people declare "my kids are my life".....it makes me laugh!.......believe me!.....your kids WISH you HAD a life that doesn't revolve around them.....they would prefer a well rounded parent!....think about it! when you make your kids the "with-all" of "your" life.....  .....well,....isn't that a little toooooo much pressure?
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| May 18, 2006 @ 1:14 AM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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Ron9
Posts: 386
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“I have dated a few guys that were really nice, but had small children”
I did it - I helped raise someone else’s kids from 5&7 until they got grown. I guess I am glad I did but there is a very very big nagging question to it all. I more or less now (all these years later) think - wanting help with raising her kids was the main reason she married me. That more than sucks to think about - it kind of eats away at me. The girls got raised and mommy ............... split ............ humm.
I am still dad - to those two girls - esp one of them ............ but ................ that nagging gut feeling ....... is not very much fun.
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| May 18, 2006 @ 7:24 AM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Like China said no child ever deserves less than 100%....
I'm gonna start my own movement..."No Mo's deserve less than 100%" 
Please, let the pampering begin, Ladies.
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| May 18, 2006 @ 9:17 AM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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Ok Mo --- you said "no kids here" ----
I am on my way to pamper you! 
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| May 18, 2006 @ 9:24 AM |
Dating in your 40's.....
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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Please, let the pampering begin, Ladies.
Today Pampers... tomorrow, Depends. 
I have 3 teens. I wouldn't mind meeting someone with younger children. Kids are great entertainment.
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| May 18, 2006 @ 9:52 AM |
Dating in your 40's..... |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Pete, I'm sure there's plenty of Diaper Diva's out there for ya.
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