| Jun 20, 2006 @ 10:12 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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People are often, shall we say, less than honest in their profile self-descriptions--from age to weight to height to using photos that are obviously years old or even of someone else--things that will be obvious if they ever meet anyone.
If you experienced this in someone you met from a dating site, how did you handle it? Did you walk away without meeting the other person? Did you meet them and ask why they don't look like their picture, or how they managed to have gained 100 pounds recently or aged 10-20 years?
Did they give you a story to "explain" the differences? Or did they act like they're just like their profiles despite the obvious fact that they were not?
Alternatively, has anyone ever met you and said that you did not match your profile?
Please share your experiences.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 10:25 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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I can't remember if I've shared this tale on here before, but here goes!
Once upon a time (about 5 years ago) I met a "gentleman" for dinner at Applebees after a couple weeks of chat and a few calls. He claimed to be a gym teacher and said he was 6' and about 225 pounds.
I beat him to the restaurant...he was actually late and when I saw him, I didn't know it was him. This guy was about 5'9" and around 300-325 pounds. Not to mention he was kinda greasy and sweaty looking and greatly resembled a child-molester type. I'm sure my jaw dropped! For some reason I didn't say anything about his lying and sat down to eat with him. I just thought it would be easier to sit through a quick dinner than to make a scene.
He ordered two complete meals for himself and leared at my boobs while talking about his sexual experiences...starting at age 13. I grabbed my purse and told him I had to use the potty. With the help of a waitress, I snuck out the kitchen exit and never looked back!
I became a lot more selective after that. I am much less likely to meet someone just for the hell of it! Yes, people can still lie...but I like to make the hoops large and plentiful that have to be jumped through! 
I'm pretty much what my profile says I am and have never heard differently from anyone I've met. If I meet men who aren't what they say they are...then I just cut my losses. It's all part of the game!
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 10:27 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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apmnally
Posts: 35
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Actually a few years ago i was talking to a man who i thought was fantastic he was attractive and seemed intellegent mature everything his porfile stated he was about 5''11 and i think it was somewhere around 90kg and the pic was really nice of a young man who seemed to take care of himself. Well when i went to meet this man what stood in front of me was a man about 120 -130 kg alot shorter then he stated and not at all the man in the picture seems that picture had been taken 3 years prior. I tried my damn hardest to look past it but then i realised if i have to try so hard for something then the damage was done he lied plain and simple. The silly thing was is that i was attracted to him and told him so before he showed me the picture so why not just be honest the lie was what destroyed it. He was still an attractive man he was just overweight which he said he was trying to loose and if he had said that in the first place and had admitted everything i probably still would have gone out with him because before he lied i would have believed him about trying to get healthier and fitter but when someone has lied once already its hards to belive them a second time.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 10:41 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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Wow! Did the guys seem at all embarrassed or anything about being so different from their profiles/pix?
Di, you said you just ignored it, because you didn't want to make a scene, but did he mention anything about the obvious differences between what he should have been, and what he was? Or did he just act like nothing was wrong?
apmnally, your guy said he was trying to lose the weight and that the pic was three years old, but was that comment initiated by him, or in response to anything you said about his being heavier (and older) than pictured?
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 10:48 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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apmnally
Posts: 35
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he just threw it in to the conversation because he said to me im not what you expected am i and then said he was trying to loose the weight so he acknowledge that he had lied to me
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 11:08 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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I guess he thought if he put up a current (overweight) pic, he would not get a date. But how he ever thought lying would be overlooked, I don't understand. That is never a good basis on which to begin a relationship.
Did you tell him you would have been attracted to him as he was, but now couldn't because he lied? How ironic! (I know you said you were attracted before seeing his pic, but did you say it in person?)
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 11:27 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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I have met a few from online, they all said my pictures didn't do me justice.
Some I have met, I would have never known it was them, they looked entirely different from their pictures. And some I met, looked even better.
I do look different from my pics now, but don't have a more recent one to post.
I am 20 lbs lighter & have my hair cut short now.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 11:40 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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Cupcake43130
Posts: 1,747
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Oh yeah....have ran across my share of "fakers". Have lied about height, weight, age, marital status, 10 yr old pics posted.....you name it. I have learned not to meet anyone without a pic. I just won't do it. Some guys seem to think that just because their mommas said they were handsome....it is gospel. And get a FULL body shot. One guy said he was 5'10" and with an athletic build....he had only sent a head shot. He shows up and is about 50 pounds over weight. He hadn't seen his toes in years. Been lied to about height. I'm 5'8", so I'm not short. One guy shows up and he's only about 5'5" after stating 5'11". Now in heels I'm 5'10" or so. He stood up and I was looking at the top of his head. Did he think I wasn't going to notice????? I have never ducked out on a meeting......but I have been tempted. I do bring up that they were deceptive in their representations of themselves and that I don't appreciate being lied to, and end it right there. No drinks....no dinner. I am very honest in my descriptions of myself. I have never been told that I didn't look like my pics.....usually that they don't do me justice. I don't see the point in lying...you only get found out and look like a fool.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 12:20 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I just tell everyone before I meet them that I'm a short, fat, ugly social misfit, and that way they are always pleasantly surprised! 
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 12:46 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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Mattfishin
Posts: 1,710
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I post my true weight on my pro..and I deleted the 10 year old pic that showed a thinner me..the pic you see of me today is me in all my fat glory LOL...as for height..hard to lie about that..I scrape doorways and ceiling fans..
although..I have thought about tying shoes onto my knees and walking around as a normal size person 
If you're gonna meet someone..honesty and being upfront is always the best policy..lying never gets you anywhere..except maybe in politics..
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 12:56 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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WickedWench
Posts: 1,613
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China I still think you'd be brilliant no matter how much you lie! 
I just thought it would be easier to sit through a quick dinner than to make a scene
Di you are sooooo polite!!!. I would not have stayed if someone lied to me that blatantly. I would say something to the effect that he obviously lied and I wasn't comfortable spending anytime at all and leave. I only ever meet for coffee first and if it's not there then I can leave without the obligation of spending more time. .
I recently did meet two people. One said I looked like my pic and the other didn't.  The difference between the pic I have up and now is my hair isn't as blonde and it's much longer----still has that J.F.F. look about it though.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 2:19 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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People who misrepresent themselves know that once they meet in person, their lie(s) will be exposed, so it seems like the misrepresenters are depending on the good manners of the person they are going to meet to let them get away with the lying and actually still have a date. (Like Di, who didn't want to make a scene; I would have probably felt the same, as my momma raised me that way....;-)
Do you think it would cut down on the profile misrepresentations if meetings were ended immediately every time a person found out that the person they were meeting had lied in their profiles/pictures?
(Wench--that "J.F.F. look"? What is that?)
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 4:06 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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did he mention anything about the obvious differences between what he should have been, and what he was? Or did he just act like nothing was wrong?
Wrong? Something wrong? Why, whatever could you mean? 
Ahh...I'm a lot more seasoned now, Wench, so the likelyhood of me sitting back and taking it now would be zero!
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 5:16 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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lj450
Posts: 9,551
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I consider everyone on the internet to be a profile faker, unless they can prove otherwise.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 7:57 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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bevrice
Posts: 11,141
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Lol, I don't fake either, but have met my share of them. I have even seen some on cam, lol, just their faces, I don't go in for that other stuff. They must use magic cam dust, cause I am seldom pleasantly surprised by their looks.
You know, if I know how a person really looks before I meet him, good or bad or in between, I can accept that and accept the wrinkles the extra weight and could like them, but when they surprise me, I am always so disappointed that the disappointment overrides how much I might have liked them if they had been truthful and showed a real picture.
The funny thing about it is that they don't seem to care if their picture is old or not or if they are not what they said, they just act like it is all hunky dorey.
I enjoy my dinner and the conversation, give them a hug and tell them good bye, and I mean good bye. I have had more dates that I didn't want to repeat, MOST of them, lol.
It is a shame, but have almost reached the point where I HATE dating, sure would be nice to meet the right one, lol, but I guess that is what most of us want, and you know, one of those that posted an old picture or lied, COULD have been the right one if I had not been so turned off by the lies. I don't mind some wrinkles, and I don't like skinny men. They don't have to be hard bodies or Brad Pitts.
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| Jun 20, 2006 @ 9:35 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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apmnally
Posts: 35
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He definetly knew i was attracted to him before he sent me the pic i made that clear because he didnt want to send me one but i like to be able to look at the person im speaking to not so i can rule them out its just nice to know who you are speaking to.
The date didnt last long because at the beginning when he asked me how long i could stay i said not long i have an appointment so i only had to sit there for about half an hour but he did keep trying to call and i felt kinda guilty cause i would ignore his calls but i did say when i left the place where we had that date that i didnt think we would be going out again it was to big of a lie for me so i couldnt say i led him on or anything.
The thing that really destroyed it was that i had the decency and respect for him to be honest but he did not have any respect for me because he lied. If you lie to someone you dont respect them you cant go into a relationship without 100% mutual respect
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| Jun 21, 2006 @ 8:26 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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amicishirl
Posts: 257
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I must just be lucky then........most of the guys I have met looked like their pictures and I didn't find any apparent lies. However, I have had a few that lied about height/weight or age. The worst one was one that lied about his age - by 6 years - and he did have an old picture posted. But I still dated him for a few months before I found how how old he was! I would have dated him even if I had know how old he was, but the fact that he lied was the beginning of the end.....so to speak. I figure if they lie about that they will lie about other things also. The one's who obviously lie, I didn't ditch them then but I didn't go out with them again.
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| Jun 21, 2006 @ 8:44 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Every woman I've met from the internet has been honest with me beforehand.. there've been a few that have lied, but I found them out BEFORE I actually met them, so I didn't meet them! Ah yes, there was one that lied that I actually met, and damn she was sexy, but she was a total player, so I sent her packing.
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| Jun 21, 2006 @ 9:35 AM |
Dealing with a "profile faker"
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Mattfishin
Posts: 1,710
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I met a local gal last year who told me she had lost wieght since her pic was taken..she was tellin the truth..when we met..I didnt recognise her and , semi jokingly said 'who are you' when she pulled up to the restaurant..she didnt find it amusing ...lol..but we dated for 6 weeks..I broke it off..for other reasons..
she was a toughy though..the first couple times I tried to break up with her..she wouldnt let me LOL
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| Jun 21, 2006 @ 4:21 PM |
Dealing with a "profile faker" |
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LatinButterfly
Posts: 687
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I don't reply to men with no pics either, unless they provide a link where I can view the pics, that way I don't have to give them an e-mail address. If they have only one pic, that's suspicious to me too, anyone who's serious searching realizes that one or two pics, even when recent can rarely give an accurate representation of the person because only one of thousands of expressions is being captured.
That's why I quickly ask any man who e-mails me if he has a web cam, at least that can give both of us a closer image to reality. But, surprisingly, most say they don't have one, which I don't understand because if one is serious about finding a special someone one should be well-prepared and today some w/cams are really cheap. I got mine on sale 3 years ago for $18.88 (and it had a $10 rebate...) so as I see it's just another excuse. The few that have had one looked worse than their pics. The man that have gotten to see me on cam have told me I look better than my pics (but I still think in bright daylight, who knows!).
When I first moved here I tried a local phone dating line and I did meet quite a few men, which was nerve-wracking as those were all "blind" meetings, so no way I was going to go eat with them (several asked), just met for coffee, outside the library or similar place. I take that back, I did have lunch with one guy, he impressed me as an intelligent, trustworthy person but our relationship goals were different so that was that. The majority were ugly and a couple rather weird but it was easy to get away soon. And 4 guys were surprisingly attractive but nothing permanent came out of any of that either. Most men on that phone line appeared to be looking just "to have fun" or had serious "issues" so I just stopped using it.
Since then experience has honed my observation skills so usually at most by the second chat I know if I want to meet or not thus saving both parties loss of time and another disappointment.
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