| Nov 18, 2005 @ 12:58 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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1) Being Too Much Of A "Nice" Guy
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys?
Of course you have.
Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU.
What's going on here?
It's actually very simple.
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.
And guess what?
Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being nice doesn't make a woman choose you.
I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, but get over it. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 1:29 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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lecriveuse
Posts: 1,865
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i liked a guy n austin who was incredibly nice (wasn't the type i usually found physically attractive, but he was a sweet, considerate man). he would talk about the women who had done him wrong -- not enough 2 really get on ur nerves. he finally told me he wasn't interested in me; he told me he felt a need to "save" women.  uh-huh. i let it go.
nice isn't synonymous w/doormat. i dont know y anyone wants 2 find a wreck n help them 2 heal. if that's the case, get into a profession that allows u 2 do that. romantically, that's a big ol shot n the foot!
if i were a st bernard, maybe i would want 2 save someone --
i know i mentioned this on another post: let the red cross do the saving unless ur really into that kind of emotional s&m.
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:00 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,117
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being nice is a mistake?
well, if you have friends who dive into rescues, and you want to rescue, that is your choice,
Frankly, I was looking for more sense in this posting...
my list would be....
1) never date anyone with alcohol or drug habits
2) avoid people who don't share your moral backround
A) meet people from your church, synogogue
B) avoid people who don't share those beliefs
3) Money will always cause problems, so stick with people of your own financial circles
4) avoid people with no pets
a) People without Pets do not know what commitment means
5) avoid people with too many pets
a) Too many pets shows that needy or rescue mentality of excess
6) Find people who share your interests
a) so do things constructive that you enjoy, and find people in those environs to share those with...
Ok, I shot off my mouth anyone else have constructive ideas?
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:07 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Hey grumble, read again. That's not the point of what it said. 
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:27 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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a) People without Pets do not know what commitment means
weird.
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:38 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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danae74
Posts: 601
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I think lecri and someone both have a good point. One of the quickest turnoffs for me is too much neediness (translate: too nice!) Lots of people, men and women included, are looking for a partner to supply them with one or more of the following: a sense of self, a sense of happiness they're missing, courage, self-esteem, social aptitude,...the list goes on. I don't have any extra to spare, lol, so please bring your own (self-esteem, joy in life, etc...)
Seriously, "niceness" can be a cover for either emotional manipulation or very low self-esteem, especially when the "niceness" tips over into the "being a doormat" realm... just my experience.
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:41 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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danae, a woman who gets it (but then again, don't most women in this area?)... 
I'm impressed, you can send your bikini pics to me at... 
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:41 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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danae74
Posts: 601
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Oh, and another point while I'm at it...what I'm saying is not so much a tangible "mistake" a guy can make. It's more of an innate personality thing. If the real guy is one I like, there are very few mistakes he can make that I won't just laugh off!
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 2:46 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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danae74
Posts: 601
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I'm impressed, you can send your bikini pics to me at...
You can check me {email address removed} 
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 7:45 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,943
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4) avoid people with no pets
a) People without Pets do not know what commitment means
I don't have a pet, but I have a kid. Does that count?
Eeesh.
Yo someone_you, where's the other 9? I'm releived that there are only 10. I thought the world was coming to a screeching halt. ;)
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 7:51 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Patience my dear Mary, patience. 
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 8:10 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,943
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When was it that I was ever patient?
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 8:16 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Gotta admire a woman who knows what she likes and goes for it.
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 8:17 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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ruready4me2luvu
Posts: 1,700
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Patience my dear Mary, patience.
Im a Leo, patience isn't in my vocabulary
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 10:08 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,117
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lol... ok Mary, since they now sell leashes for kids, and some folks are keeping kids in kennels they may count as pets
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| Nov 18, 2005 @ 10:55 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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The_Mutt
Posts: 2
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Nice guys?
Being nice is only a way to show respect for others and is the highest compliment that you can give another human being.
So if it means that I will not bag the "Hot Chicks" Then I have to ask...
What is a "Hot Chick"?
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| Nov 19, 2005 @ 8:34 AM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Amazing how you can post something and because of their own preconceptions about things, people never get it. I guess it would be kind of like guys not actually reading a woman's profile for what she says.
Mutt, I'd suggest rereading what it actually says ten times slowly. You might find out it doesn't say at all what you just responded with. 
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| Nov 19, 2005 @ 3:49 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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someone_me
Posts: 506
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Okay, so they don't like posts with similar titles so I'll have to put everything in this one.
#2-#4 are here, hang on for more to come...
2) Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just not interested?
Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, ever.
You cannot convince a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning.
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with her?
But we all do it.
When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.
Bad idea. Another one that will never work.
3) Looking For Her Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are never attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval.
4) Trying To Buy Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you take a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did?
If you're like me, then you've had it happen a lot.
Well guess what?
It's only natural when this happens...
When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection".
Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation.
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| Nov 19, 2005 @ 5:25 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 11,300
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Someone....I'm hoping the guys out there are listening to your comments about "What NOT to do" in regard to:
2) Trying To "Convince" Her To Like You
3) Looking For Her Approval Or Permission
4) Trying To Buy Affection With Food And Gifts
What you have to say under each one of those is marvelously insightful!!!!! I don't think there is a better way to have explained it!!!  
Guys, I would recommend that you go to Someoneme's 11/19/05 posting made at 3:49pm, copy it and put it someplace handy for reference!!!!!! JMHO
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| Nov 19, 2005 @ 5:41 PM |
10 biggest mistakes guys make with women... #1 |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 7,881
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Entertaining posts, someone_me.
The feedback I get from women (age bracket – 40 to late 50’s) is the biggest turn offs are: guys that act like panting puppy dogs that try to supply unlimited affection, narcissistic rich men who believe they can buy love, or over-sexed, crass, juvenile-minded jerks.
The problem is, behaviors like this must be at least partially successful or these types of guys would have stopped doing said behavior long ago.
Makes you wonder just how universal some of these Dating No-No’s really are?
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