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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 1:37 AM |
26 mail, dating advice
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ruffles888
Posts: 6
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Hey all! I hope you don't mind a man intruding on your groups, but I
have some questions, and figured I'd come straight to the source for
answers. Kinda hard for me to say this, but I'll do my best.
As the title says, I'm a 26 year old male looking for some dating
advice. Why am I looking for advice, you ask? Well, because I haven't
really dated before. Hell, I haven't even KISSED a girl before. The
thing is, growing up I was a really shy kid. I had ADD, and was
considerably overweight. I felt that I wasn't attractive to women, so
I never approched women. I also was an only child, and didn't have a
male father figure in my life. because of my weight, shyness, and the
weird way I acted (from ADD), I didn't have too many friends, either,
so I really didn't have a model to refer to on how to approach a girl
when I did find myself attracted to one. Around age 14, I began to
gain considerably more weight and continued to do so over the years,
until I reached the hefty weight of 400lbs at age 20. Now, I'm 5"6, so
this weight isn't pretty on me.
I recently had the surgery where they cut your stomach and rearrange
your intestines (fun stuffs!!), and feel that my life has really only
begun. I know weigh 200lbs (still a bit heavy, but meh), and am
seriously wanting to find a woman, since I have come to the realization
that I am in fact a handsome man. I have a date for this friday, but
I'm quite worried at what she will think once she finds out she's my
first date. I absolutely know how to treat a woman (have a few lady
friends, and have been learning from them), but I don't know how to
kiss a woman, or how to be intimate with her. if she really truely
likes me, is this going to matter? if she goes to kiss me, and I tell
her I don't know how, will she drop me then and there?? same with being intimate?
I thank you for any advice you can offer. I know this if completely
odd, but it's much easier sending this email to a bunch of complete
strangers then it is to ask one of my lady friends face to face. this isn't an attempt to troll, I honestly would like some feedback. flame on if you want.
edit:
gah, it won't let me correct the "mail" spelling :o( oh well, maybe it'll attract more attention that way.
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 1:43 AM |
26 mail, dating advice |
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,706
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just be nice and honest and a gentleman.. sweet N Louisiana ( good luck and have fun)
hmm profile says he is 70 plus years old is this a joke perhaps..
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 1:56 AM |
26 mail, dating advice
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lacyvsq
Posts: 6,172
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seems there have been a lot of these non-profiled thread-starters lately...
try reading the kissing techniques thread if you are for real.
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 1:59 AM |
26 mail, dating advice |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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yeah, this 73 year old mail sounds a bit iffy, but I see nothing wrong with being 200 pounds! Big bones, y'all, there's nothing wrong with big bones! 
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 10:25 AM |
26 mail, dating advice
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ruffles888
Posts: 6
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Thanks for all the feedback. and, although it definitely sounds like one, I assure you it isn't. I honestly was expecting to get flamed hard, I'm rather surprised. I appreciate the feedback you've provided. oh, and I did go ahead and update my profile to reflect my real age. And I'll post a pic
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 10:44 AM |
26 mail, dating advice |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Cool, Ruffles. I like your writing style, you're obviously intelligent and articulate, and I suspect you'll do just fine. I'd probably hold off on telling her this is your first date until the end of it, if you think you'll want to keep seeing each other - only because I think it could end up being a lot deeper and heavier discussion than you might want to get into with someone right off the bat.
Anyway, welcome to the forums, and I hope you keep us posted on how it goes!
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| Jul 24, 2006 @ 12:10 PM |
26 mail, dating advice
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,620
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Listen Ruff
just relax and be yourself. i don't think the fact that you have never dated before needs to be made an "issue". just try to be as confident as possible and things should be ok.
if she asks "how long was your last relationship?" you can say something as simple as "Not long lol, in truth I'm pretty shy and always have been....dating is new to me (and assuming things are going well) but you seem to be changing that."
if she seems to want to give you a kiss, follow her lead.....go with the flow yo!....I remember thinking "What do I do, it'll be my first time" 
TRUST me, you'll catch on very very quickly. just be mellow and gentle, and as someone suggested, check out the kissing techniques thread....some good advice there but know it's important to just be relaxed....if you try to remember these "techniques" like you're studying for a test  you'll come off as mechanical and will forget to naturally be yourself in the moment.
Good luck!!!
AngelLight
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 9:27 PM |
26 mail, dating advice |
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ruffles888
Posts: 6
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Cool, so it seems the general consensus is be yourself and relax. Easier said then done, but I'll give it a go. Hey, one more question (sorry! my last, I promise ) I'm making the leap from cheap grocery store body spray colognes to the real stuff. I've checked out John Paul Gaultier's Le Male, Versace's Versace, and Hanae Mori's...Hanae Mori (gotta love the 'original' names). I like them all, Verchachi and Hanae Mori are more musky, while Le Male is sweet and smooth. The problem with Le Male is that it's a pretty popular brand, and I don't want to really end up smelling like all other men. I might consider Le Male for daytime wear, and something more unique for a night out on the town. Whatcha all think? Any advice on some other colognes that woman go gaga over?? 
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 9:35 PM |
26 mail, dating advice
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,615
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Just to go easy on it...because of associations, ya never know how someone will react to a scent. That's powerful stuff there, but not always in the direction you might want...
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 9:56 PM |
26 mail, dating advice |
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holding4u
Posts: 1,098
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Ruffles, be kind and considerate and yourself. Hope your first date is a dream date. Good luck.
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| Jul 25, 2006 @ 10:31 PM |
26 mail, dating advice
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WhiteRose1952
Posts: 53
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I have to agree with everyone on this: Just be Yourself, Go with the flow, and just enjoy the time with each other...About the cologne..Halston Z 14 is an Awesome smell..not to musk and not to sweet and not to strong either or over powering..
I wish You all the best and I just have a feeling that everything will go Great for You!! Have a Great time, Your Friend in Texas, Christie
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