| Dec 13, 2007 @ 2:40 PM |
Why is love so addicting?
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litlewolf6
Posts: 2
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I just lost my wife not to long ago. I have this urge to be with someone again. I was with her for 13 years. I loved her very much and it hurt like hell when she died. We didn't have the best relationship that's for sure. We were opposite people in many ways. But she was still my best friend, lover and knew me better then I did myself.
Shortly after she passed away. I tried keeping myself busy by doing other things and keeping my mind off her not being there. To see her everywhere I looked was just to painful.
I ended up seeing another woman and it kept my mind off the loss. We both knew that it wouldn't work between us in any real long term relationship. But being able hold, kiss, cuddle and talk intimatly with someone just seemed to ease the pain and make life seem more pleasant.
Why is it that when you are single you just crave companionship so much? I know everyone just wants someone to love, hold, kiss and be their best friend in a relationship.
Maybe it's because the media pumps it up so much? You turn on ANY radio station and I can pretty much assure you that you can't get more then 3 songs in and not hear some form of love, heart break or lust being expressed in a song. Or you see so many love stories on TV or movies. You see advertising for matchmaking sites and services everywhere you look radio, tv, internet, magazines, newspapers and more. Is it really such a basic need and desire and all these mediums just amplify it or are we just sold so much on having someone special in our life by sociaty and businesses?
Can someone clarify this some more for me? Or express some idea's why the desire to have someone in your life is so strong?
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| Dec 15, 2007 @ 3:11 AM |
Why is love so addicting? |
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koocnosaj
Posts: 7
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I would love to know myself, but being single for over a year, I've come to realize that it's not necessarily love you crave...it's the idea of having someone there for you that has your best interest in mind and someone who you can really be yourself around. It's good to have someone to impress and to think about. It's also wonderful to be at work and think about what fun adventure you two can do together that night, or the next weekend. Think about this too...when you were a kid, your parents loved you and protected you. As you get older, their love isn't shown as strong and you long for that, so it pushes you to find someone that will. I wish you luck, friend! Take care.
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| Dec 30, 2007 @ 11:15 PM |
Why is love so addicting?
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jester2kx
Posts: 8
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I totaly agree with koocnosaj. I have spent about a year sinlge as well and I think that I have come to just about the same conclusion. I cant compair to the loss that litlewolf6 has had to deal with, but I think that the yearning/want is about the same (motivation anyway). Finding a partner to "watch your back", I think thats what all of us are looking for. But then again.....that is part of "love", isn't it?
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| Apr 17, 2008 @ 12:57 AM |
Why is love so addicting? |
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sassiestredhead
Posts: 1
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I am so sorry for your loss. I read a really good book called single married seperated and life after divorce by Miles Monroe. I think that it will help you to understand some of these questions that you have. I was married at the time I read it, I had a new baby and just moved to a new town. I was no where close to divorce but I really got so much out of that book.
I too had a romantic involvement when I first got divorced. It was so nice to know that I was not hideous and that someone could love me and be there to hold and someone would help me and talk to me. Another adult that just seemed to care. My divorce was final Aug of 2006 and the romantic relationship has been over for almost a year now.
You know that the Bible says that it is not good for man to be alone. That is why God made Eve for Adam. We all want to be with someone. I know several people that have met someone online and fallen in love and gotten married. I know that I am using this time of being single to learn more about myself. To do the things that I always wanted to do when I was married but never got the chance to. One day there will be someone to love again for you. (and for me) The best thing that you can do for yourself while you wait is become a complete individual so that when you do find someone. You are able to give yourself to them and not expect them to complete you but to compliment you.
Then you will be a better pantner. Think about the things that were difficulties in your marriage. Is there anything that you know that your wife would of wanted you to improve on and you see that honestly she was maybe right. Honor her memory by becoming the best you. It is only fair to yourself and your next love that you are whole and complete. You will find someone. Prayer and patience. That is what it is going to take. One day at a time is what it takes. Two years have gone by for me. I feel stronger and more secure every day. Then there are days that I just crash. I then spend the day with a box of kleenex and wait for it to pass. Love is a wonderful thing. It is also a great respondsibility. I think that too many people focus on what they can get out of a relationship rather than what they can give to one. Are you ready to give? Good luck sweetie. You will continue to heal and you will find a wonderful friend, and companion. God bless.
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