| Sep 21, 2006 @ 7:06 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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scarletsara
Posts: 239
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Would you start dating again?
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| Sep 21, 2006 @ 7:17 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,135
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god hon, I wish I knew... mine was particularly ugly and I am scared to death to step back into the ring... not to mention, that I still have feelings for the butthead...  I guess your heart will tell you when it's the right time... Right now, all I want is my dog...
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| Sep 25, 2006 @ 6:50 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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Phyllis
Posts: 178
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As in grieving for any loss-it takes as long as it takes. Only you will know when you are ready. I'm sorry for your loss. It hurts but you will have better times ahead.
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| Sep 25, 2006 @ 11:48 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,052
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...As soon as you know yourself, what you want and need... and feel neither love, nor hate; but simply indifference to the other.
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| Sep 28, 2006 @ 1:50 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,241
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I've heard many different answers to this... for my self... I've found a need for 5 or 10 years to callous up, and to get recentered...
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 7:51 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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TAINQ
Posts: 185
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It all depends on the depth of the relationship and the time you shared. Fortunately for me, I have a few good friends who indulge me and ease me back.
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 7:27 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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As soon as possible. When its over, its over...what's to wait for?? You know what they say...best thing to do when you fall off a horse is to get right back on again.
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 7:30 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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TAINQ
Posts: 185
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I don't know about a horse, but I always get back on my bike after a fall.
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 7:33 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,068
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~shudder~ please spare me from those guys who really aren't "over it" -- and there ARE a lot of them that carry that "baggage" for an awfully long time..whether they think so or not. 
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 7:47 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,806
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dont know how you really get over it the mind has a good memory some just fade away
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| Oct 1, 2006 @ 10:58 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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The rule of thumb I've heard is it takes about 1/3 to 1/2 the length of the relationship to get truely over it.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:36 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,068
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Aw sh*t. I was married for over 30 years! 
(Actually, that one was a piece of cake compared to losing someoner to death... )
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 1:44 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,897
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Sara - be good to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve the loss. The more you give yourself permission to do this, the sooner you will heal, and the sooner you will want to get on with the rest of your life. Like Gemini said, when you feel neither love, nor hate, but rather indifference - this is the point at which you will feel like starting over. And the more you allow yourself to grieve your loss, the sooner you'll get to this point. My heart goes out to you.....
(Sunny - married for over 30 years? Mine was only 6 years....but it FELT like well over 30!!!!!)
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 2:18 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,068
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Actually, "grieving the loss" is exactly what needs to be done whatever the means of the "parting" -- you go through all the same stages, especially if it was a strong bond (even if it was one sided, I imagine)
Too many people just don't allow themselves to heal before jumping into the next relationship, though some may have reached the "acceptance" stage long before the actual breakup...
(Yep, Jester, over 32 1/2 years...I still don't know if that's a "positive", in that I'm loyal...or whether it's a "negative": I'm a slow learner )
[Edited on 10/2/2006 2:41 AM]
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 2:24 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,897
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Sunny - it's a 'positive', DEFINITELY a 'positive'! How can I be so sure?
Because there's NOT ONE negative thing about YOU!!!!! 
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 2:43 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,068
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That's not what my head tells me...but then I'm pretty good at ignoring those whisperings
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 4:28 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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Dovestreasure
Posts: 3,399
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As soon as possible. When its over, its over...what's to wait for?? You know what they say...best thing to do when you fall off a horse is to get right back on again.
Not a wise idea in my opinion. You need to give yourself time to heal. Jumping into a new relationship on the rebound is bound for failure. It would not be fair to the person you involve yourself with too soon after a breakup. Emotionally you will not be able to give your all, when those hurt feelings are still tugging on your heart strings. I gave myself a year off to mend my heart and focused on making a better me. Only you will know when you are truely ready.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 7:10 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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Strandedboarder
Posts: 440
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I think that's an old wives tale. The very reason the couple is breaking up is because at least one person, possibly both, is ready to move on. I mean, damn, I'm not talking about going from a breakup right to the chapel with someone else!
I think the healing process starts with dating other people. Otherwise you can't move forward. Nothing heals faster than replacing the bad times you’ve been having in your relationship with good times with new friends. If you don't develop new, positive relationships with new people, the old, bad relationship just lingers in your mind.
The best way to forget is to have something new and wonderful to remember instead. Waiting for bad feelings to fade away is slow and painful.
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| Oct 2, 2006 @ 9:51 PM |
How soon after a bad breakup
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 10,897
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Waiting for bad feelings to fade away is, indeed, slow and painful. And that's precisely the reason one should wait before entering a new dating relationship. He/she SHOULD go out with friends, stay busy, etc....BUT there is definitely a need for some alone time to allow yourself those miserable feelings of pain and loss - you have to go through them before you can ever hope to come out on the other side of them. But to try to go from a failed relationship directly into another relationship - even just a casual dating relationship - does, in fact, make you the rebound person that we're all taught to avoid (and that, I'm sure, we've all BEEN at one time or another).
Take it slow...get to know yourself better....get to know what you learned about what you do and don't want in another, and/or in a relationship, and use that in your next relationship. But only the passage of time and going through the grief process can give you that perspective.
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| Oct 19, 2006 @ 10:56 AM |
How soon after a bad breakup |
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Bambooo
Posts: 195
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15 minutes.
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