| Dec 24, 2006 @ 7:57 PM |
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Ok. I met this guy on Myspace.com, he seemed nice. He contacted me first and we exchanged a few emails and then I gave him my cell number. After a week or so we agreed to meet. The night we were suppose to meet I had to take my daughter to the mall, I called this guy and told him that I would be a little late and told him that something came up with my kids. He got so pissed. I quickly informed him that I had priorites and that at the present my child needed me to take her to the mall and it would only take about 30 mintues. After complaining non stop he finally shut up and said he would wait.
He lives in a different city then I do, so we met at a mall half way between our homes. He was nice, polite. And not all that interesting. Not my type at all, but "my type" arent beating down my door, so I thougth I would venture out alittle. We walked around the mall--bad place to meet by the way--and then I wanted to grab something to eat, so we went to an all night resturant close by. He got someone offended by my not offering to allow him to ride with me. Anyways, we went to the resturant and I ordered and waited for him to do the same, he told me he was not hungry and just had tea. I ate and let him talk. After a while I started to get somewhat interested. After eating we left and walked outside. I had not intended that this date last very long. But he just seemed to not understand my hints. I dont like being rude, so I agreed to stay and talk for a while. An hour later he kissed me and I got to leave. He called me on my way home and we talked for a while longer.
We both agreed that neither of wanted a relationship right away. I told him that I wanted to start out slow and work from there. Over the next couple of weeks we emailed and talked daily. However, I began to see that he was very controling. I take a vaction every year. Its the highlight of my year. I work all year and save the money for that purpose. This year I am trying to decied if I want to go on a cruise to Belize, Honduors and Mexico or go to DC for a week in Feb. I was telling this guy all this and all of a sudden he gets all mad and starts yelling at me. Telling me that he does not want to hear about my trip cause he dont have the money for stuff like that and it depresses him when others do! OK. Also before I met him I had asked my friend Josh to go with me to a formal work event. Josh is very proper and works in investments and I work for a bank so I knew he would know how to behave and would fit in. This guy got mad at me cause I would not ask Josh not to go. Josh is my best friend. He is my rock. He and I are not romanticly involved. The guy was pissed when I told him that I would be staying the night at the Omni where the event was because I knew I would be drinking and did not want to drive. He gets all bent out of shape and starts demanding that I give him the room number and asks if Josh is spending the night. I pretty much told him that it was none of his business. During the event he kept calling! I kept my cell phone on in case my daughter needed me. I fianly told him that if he didnt quit his crap I would not be talking to him much longer.
I made reservations at the Omni here in SA for New Years because I had heard a commerical that advertised a discounted rate really cheap. Then I found out that it was actauly for the one in Corpus Christi. I had asked the guy if he wanted to go out New Years Eve and he said sure....but then he got all pissed when I told him that it would be in Corpus instead of SA. He then began to tell me that he had limited funds and that he could not afford me! I never asked him to "afford me" I am the one paying for the stinking room. I told him that I did not want some one to spend money on me, I can spend my own money on myself. I wanted someone to spend time with me. He basicly pitched a fit and said that if I was going to Corpus I would have to go alone.
Oh and then I am from the South. I "sweetie, hunny, baby" EVERYBODY I meet! Its just who I am. He calls me a couple nights ago and I say hello sweety...he gets all bent out of shape and tells me that I am getting mushy on him. What????? He says that I am trying to control him. OK. I have meet him once! I dont understand where he is getting this stuff. Finaly it all came to an explosive head on Friday night. We got into an argument because I didnot want him to spend the night at my home. We were suppose to go out on Sat after I got off work and he was going to drive up and I told him that I would get him a hotel room, meaning that I would pay for it. He got pissed! He then just kept yelling at me. We had also had a discussion about sex. I told him that if I did make that decison with him then he would wear a condom. He told me hell no, that he did not feel anything while wearing one. I basicly told him tough. If he wanted to have sex with with me, then he would be wearing one. I fianly had enough and hung up on him. I wrote him an email to explain my self and he called me Sat at work screaming at me. I called him when I got off, and he proceeded to call me names and then told me that I was a nobody.
Well I have now deleted his ass from my email, myspace and phone.
I just wondered what yall thought about this? Was there anything that you think I could have done differently. I want to find someone who I can relate to, but I dont want anyone who trie
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| Dec 24, 2006 @ 8:03 PM |
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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cont....tries to change me. I just want someone that will understand that I cant always drop everything and come runnig to him when he calls and that I have priorities and that sometimes he may not always be number one. Am I asking for too much?
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| Dec 24, 2006 @ 8:51 PM |
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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No you aren't asking to much, i don't understand why you put up with it as long as you did. Sounds like a head case to me. I am afraid to think what could have happened with a temper like that. ANyway i guess what i am saying is you did right to drop him, No one needs to put up with that
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| Dec 24, 2006 @ 9:04 PM |
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dixiepixie
Posts: 869
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The guy sounds like he has problems controlling his temper. There are just too many occassions in the short time you interacted with him where it seems he has had anger or control issues.
You gave him much more opportunity than I would have given him to show a more patient and less angry side of himself.
I called this guy and told him that I would be a little late and told him that something came up with my kids. He got so pissed.
That first meeting in a public place, after he "got so pissed" when you called and told him something had inadvertantly caused you to run 30 minutes late would have been my last contact with that guy. And I would only have bothered following through briefly with that meeting because of the fact we were going to be in a public place and because he had driven a bit to get there. However, if I felt he was in the least bit threatening I wouldn't even have followed through with that.
I am extremely cautious though. Also, I'm like you in that I would not have gotten into the car with him on the first meeting even if he appeared to be the nicest guy in the world. Like I said, I'm just cautious.
I don't think there is anything that you could have done because the problem seems to be with this guys character and not anything you did. I would just consider myself lucky to discover his anger and control issues early on.
No you are not asking for too much when you ask for a man who is kind, considerate, protective of your safety, has maturity and a normal temperment.
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 7:59 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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An hour later he kissed me and I got to leave. That statement alone put up red flags...
He sounds like a very angry and bitter person.
You are right to feel the way you do-you deserve better. IMHO 
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 5:27 PM |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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Most people would have dumped his @ss after the first paragraph.
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 5:47 PM |
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The_love_Giant
Posts: 693
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Dude everyone would have dumped him after reading that
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 8:23 PM |
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Heck I thought it was me! He sent me an email to Myspace telling me that he was deleting my ass and for me to not to call him anymore either! Way to childish. I thougth after a few phone calls that we had more in common. Evidently we didnt. I have talked to my friends and they tell me that from other things that they have heard him say that he cant keep a girl-friend. He tries to control every situation and then pouts, whines or pitches a fit to get his way. I am too strong of a personality to allow that for too long. At first I just wrote it down to his being tired. He works 12 hour days 4days a week at a brick plant and he would tell me that he was just tired when he would get mad for no apparnet reason, he had yelled at me one other time and when I hung up on him, he called back leaving this long teary apologic voice mail.
I lived with a man for nearly 10 years who treated me the same way. I had no self esteem, and thought I could do no better. Well I have since found out that I can do WAY better. I try not to be too judgemental. I know that people have different views and stuff but after only 4-5 weeks and one meeting, he was way to angry for me!
Thanks guys.....Merry Christmas.
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| Dec 26, 2006 @ 2:36 PM |
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The_love_Giant
Posts: 693
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O man I work 8 hour days 5 days a week and then add my over time in there im working more then he is and I am never angry. And your story reminds me of my bestfriend he is the same to his gf. He controls but she wont leave him and ive given up on trying to show her. I dont know my advise is and will always be talk to someone and ditch his ass.
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| Dec 26, 2006 @ 8:51 PM |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,041
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Most people would have dumped his @ss after the first paragraph.
Ya got that one right!
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| Dec 26, 2006 @ 9:27 PM |
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TRS1958
Posts: 481
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I agree with everyone else. This guy sounds like he could be dangerous. I believe I would have told him to get lost after the first time he blew up over your daughter.
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| Dec 26, 2006 @ 10:12 PM |
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The_love_Giant
Posts: 693
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| Dec 26, 2006 @ 10:40 PM |
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BrendaNoklahoma
Posts: 438
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Even just his control issues are a major warning sign. If I were you, Id be saying, "feet, do yer stuff". Run far, run fast.  Re: Calling folks hun, etc. Im the same way. I dont even think about it. 
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| Dec 27, 2006 @ 12:06 PM |
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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this guy is a red flag
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