| Jul 30, 2007 @ 8:34 PM |
What does it really mean?
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torees121
Posts: 739
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I had a boyfriend (well actually we were engaged) and we have now parted ways. It was his idea. He says he loves me but needs time to get his act together. He says he is not going to date anyone. I have dated someone since but we only went out twice. This guy still wants us to be friends. I told him I would not have sex with him or anyone if I was not in a relationship with them. He wants me to wait on him to get his issues fixed. I don't know that he will ever be fixed.
He is caring a compassionate and not a player. He also has a myspace add that reads like a personal ad. How he is looking for the perfect woman, etc. If he wants someone else and does not want me then why not just end it? Why give me a story about "you have hurt me in the past and I need time to heal before I can trust you or anyone again." Why not just end it and move on? He has a very limited dating history.
I want to move on but I can't stop thinking that if I just gave him time he would come around with his issues.
Please give me serious advice.
Thanks
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| Jul 31, 2007 @ 6:35 PM |
What does it really mean? |
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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I want to move on
Sometimes, ya just gotta trust your gut! Also, if he wants you to wait on him but doesn't want to maintain the relationship-the only possible issues are: 1) he's not into you, but he's too spineless to let you go, or, 2) he's gay...part of love is trust; he says he loves you, but he doesn't trust you enough to let you HELP him with his "issues?" And if said "issues" have to do with the two of you, the only way they are gonna get resolved is if you two resolve them together. Otherwise, there is no resolving-there's just running and hiding.
Give him an ultimatum; but be prepared to follow through with it. Good luck!
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| Jul 31, 2007 @ 8:17 PM |
What does it really mean?
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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lets see, ya wanna move on! ok, does that mean you are in a hurry or you don't have any confidence in him? those are the only 2 real options i see so far. perhaps you could guess at some other possible reasons for moving on.
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| Aug 1, 2007 @ 1:53 PM |
What does it really mean? |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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Steve and Jerry thank you for your comments. We went to dinner last night and after making it a very romantic evening. We got intimate. After the intimacy he reminded me that "I can't give you what you want right now. I have to get my own life figured out. I love you very much but I need to time to trust that you won't hurt me again. I have been hurt my whole life."
Needless to say I was very hurt by this..he made the first move, gave me a back rub, lit candles and put on romantic music. Why go through all of that?? Was it just for sex? He did hold me all night and that is what makes it confusing. When we are together I do feel that he loves me. BUT I am the one that has to call him for us to get together. He never calls me first.
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| Aug 1, 2007 @ 2:11 PM |
What does it really mean?
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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Was it just for sex?
I'm sorry to say: yes, it was. He may not admit it-especially to himself-and some guys -and gals- can do a "hookup" and still be romantic about it.
I've been on both ends of that sort of transaction, sorry to say.
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| Aug 1, 2007 @ 2:14 PM |
What does it really mean? |
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torees121
Posts: 739
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Well he wants us to be friends and I told him that we would NOT have sex any more. I guess I will see if he calls. The ball is in his court now.
Thanks!
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| Aug 1, 2007 @ 2:32 PM |
What does it really mean?
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indecipherable
Posts: 546
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He wants you to "wait on him?" Pffft. Not to mention the Myspace thing. Get outta there. Find someone into YOU.
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| Oct 31, 2007 @ 8:58 PM |
What does it really mean? |
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sexyeyes755
Posts: 35
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Shew,he's taking the easy way OUT.Been there,through with that.......... 
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| Nov 2, 2007 @ 8:40 PM |
What does it really mean?
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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been there, done that... move on hon... he ain't gonna change
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| Nov 7, 2007 @ 6:02 PM |
What does it really mean? |
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thedarkmechanic
Posts: 79
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Okay, he's MY three cents' worth...
I'm a dude, but not a whiney example like him. He has issues. You're better off without him. Getting strung along like that is NOT beneficial for either of y'all. Trust me when yer with someone who's into you, you WILL know it. You said you've been able to find other guys to date. Keep at it and don't make those guys suffer cause of THAT guy. Be it lack of chemistry or his own problems, he's made it clear that you and he won't work.
Assume y'all hook up again... And the relationship goes well. He's NEVER gonna be secure. As much as I'd like to say ppl change... Uh no, we don't. Be thankful he was not an alcoholic or abusive. Don't cry cause it's over, smile cause it happened. MOVE ON! Trust me. There's LOTS of guys that'd be into you. Any ONE of us just isn't worth the emotional stress.
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