| Dec 4, 2007 @ 3:47 AM |
What is cheating?
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,618
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Ok, we all know that having sex with someone else is cheating. But what about the grey areas?
Is a kiss cheating? Does it matter who its with, a kiss from a co-worker is different than one from an ex, right? How about the kind of kiss, a peck on the cheek to a shove the tongue down to the tonsils kiss, where is the line drawn?
How about someone touching your partner? An arm around the shoulders isn't cheating, but is a hand on the ass? What about the office Romeo who's stroking your SO's hair and has her backed into the corner? Is it innocent, or does he need your foot in his ass?
Flirting: Is an innocent flirt with a stranger different than flirting with a former lover? Should your SO be flirting at all? How graphic does it have to be to cross the line? A smile is one thing, hinting that you want to f**k her is something else.
What should you laugh off, and what should you go to war over?
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 7:35 AM |
What is cheating? |
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Empath
Posts: 4,963
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You draw the line when you begin to feel uncomfortable. When you start feeling bothered by things your SO is doing, or allowing from others, it's time to sit them down and have a heart to heart.
When your SO can no longer handle it on her/his own, it's time to go to war.
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 10:45 AM |
What is cheating?
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Loreli
Posts: 18,571
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I have always had male friends I kissed on the cheek. When not in a relationship, I have had some I could kiss, shortly and just lips, on the lips.
Grabbing chests-no no no
Butt-depends on circumstances.
Hug-sure!
Sleep with? Goodbye
Also, I dated a man who visited an ex girlfriend in jail every week, she called him often, and they wrote constantly. I became very uncomfortable after a bit,because I had to wonder if the only reason he wasn't with HER, was because he couldn't be.
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 10:48 AM |
What is cheating? |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,688
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immaturity/insecure with ones self
as long as your partner stays with you and goes home with you your safe 
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 9:46 PM |
What is cheating?
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blueyes101
Posts: 7,912
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I expect my SO to handle it herself...... Not run to me.........
here is an example, an old ex gf and myself were at a gathering, we knew damn near everybody, a guy( casual friend ) walks up to get a hug good bye, I kinda notice this, but am in the middle of a game of darts, she comes over and tells me, he kissed her, mu first question was........... What did you you do/say to him ? She said " nothing.... ". I said, so what do you want me to do. she said she didn't know....... I said, if you aren't willing to let him know it was not called for, nor welcomed or appreciated, or found it offensive, crossing the line........... If I say anything to him, he will simply do it when I'm not around..... Noticing, I wasn't getting jealous, she started to get mad..... So, I said, OK I'll go kick his ass........ and walked away towards the guy, she was trying to stop me, but I just kept walking......
So, in the end, this became a test, to see if her guy would get jealous,,,,, it really had nothing to do with him kissing her..... I trusted her completely. And if she really felt uncomfortable I was willing to defend her honor...... But, as far as getting in a fight in a public place, just so she can some attention........ no f***ing way....
I WILL NOT be with any woman I cannot trust..... It takes two to tango, going after the guy, only serves the purpose if you are around and are witness to the act.
The last few women I have been with, would not do anything that would make themselves, or me feel uncomfortable...
If they do, simply walk......... right out of their lives. And without a word, no fight, nothing said, nothing needs to be said, and anything I might say, would be of little use, for if they do not feel it in their heart, nothing I can say, can/will change it.
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 10:23 PM |
What is cheating? |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,151
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Cheating is anything you do with a person of the opposite sex, that you would'nt do, if your SO was present. 
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| Dec 4, 2007 @ 11:08 PM |
What is cheating?
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SunBabe
Posts: 11,767
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Ok, we all know that having sex with someone else is cheating. But what about the grey areas?
Is a kiss cheating? Does it matter who its with, a kiss from a co-worker is different than one from an ex, right? How about the kind of kiss, a peck on the cheek to a shove the tongue down to the tonsils kiss, where is the line drawn?
How about someone touching your partner? An arm around the shoulders isn't cheating, but is a hand on the ass? What about the office Romeo who's stroking your SO's hair and has her backed into the corner? Is it innocent, or does he need your foot in his ass?
NONE of that is "cheating" on the part of the SO...  If the SO is initiating all those things, that's a WHOLE lot different than being the object of the "attentions".
Heck, what the heck is wrong with flirting (as in goofin' around) as long as all parties understand where the heart is? It IS a matter of trust between the two parties who are in a relationship. If there isn't unconditional trust and understanding -- coupled with mutual respect -- it's not a great relationship. Plain and simple.
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| Dec 5, 2007 @ 10:39 AM |
What is cheating? |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,606
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as with any game it all depends on the rules and no one should be confused as to who makes the rules. 
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| Dec 5, 2007 @ 11:56 AM |
What is cheating?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,366
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as with any game it all depends on the rules and no one should be confused as to who makes the rules.
As long as you both agree on the rules, it doesn't much matter what anybody else thinks.
For me - Katy said:
Cheating is anything you do with a person of the opposite sex, that you would'nt do, if your SO was present.
pretty much says it all.
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| Dec 5, 2007 @ 12:07 PM |
What is cheating? |
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katydid438
Posts: 6,151
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Thankyou Heaven,,sometimes plain and simple is the best way to go. The less hiding behind psycho babble and confusion, the better 
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| Dec 5, 2007 @ 11:59 PM |
What is cheating?
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,745
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Anything I wouldn't do to my partner, I'd consider cheating if he did it to me. Yes, kissing is cheating to me. Talking about cheating is cheating to me. Emotional cheating is cheating.
And one kiss, and he'd be out.
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| Dec 6, 2007 @ 1:00 AM |
What is cheating? |
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JD69350
Posts: 2,093
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| Jan 9 @ 11:08 AM |
What is cheating?
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st93
Posts: 303
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Ok, we all know that having sex with someone else is cheating. But what about the grey areas?
there aint any grey areas....
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| Jan 26 @ 11:38 PM |
What is cheating? |
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Palomino
Posts: 7,503
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A full kiss is cheating...not a "friends peck". Talking on the phone or emailing another person of the opposite sex because you get more gratifiction from talking to them than your SO is cheating. Sometimes the emotional cheating can be as bad as the actual act.
Flirting is OK as long as it's all in fun with friends. But if "that look" is exchanged during the flirtation...cheating.
I wouldn't laugh any of the above off. If the sex act is done or planned for...the war is over. Troops are withdrawn.
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| Jan 27 @ 3:30 AM |
What is cheating?
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KAOS2007
Posts: 5,082
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Anything you wouldn't do in front of your SO is cheating.
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| Jan 27 @ 11:45 AM |
What is cheating? |
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Guerrero
Posts: 124
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Kaos 100% correct.
Let me also add... anything you wouldn't want the other person to do to you = cheating.
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| Jan 27 @ 1:16 PM |
What is cheating?
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,618
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Let me also add... anything you wouldn't want the other person to do to you = cheating.
That opens up a whole other box of worms......
Suppose you are one of those super insecure types who doesn't even want your SO to talk to another person without you present, or to be in a room alone with a member of the opposite sex. If she talks to another guy, has she cheated on you? If she has to work in the same room as a guy and no one else, is she cheating on you? Etc...
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| Jan 27 @ 2:24 PM |
What is cheating? |
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Angel178
Posts: 21,508
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How is that cheating? Being in the same room? Nahhhhh
I am the director of a new school being built.... I go to the job site and talk to construc workers a few times a week. Am I cheating? No....
It's all about trust....
If I exchanged phone numbers with one of them, yes , it would be cheating...could Pete go to the job site with me and feel comfortable , yes....
Cheating is when you do something that you would not want the other person to do...cheating is when you question something....when you have to wonder about an action...something is wrong
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| Jan 27 @ 2:33 PM |
What is cheating?
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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If I exchanged phone numbers with one of them, yes , it would be cheating...
No it wouldn't (but still... don't get any ideas...  )... but it would be reasonable to exchange phone numbers with workers that are working for you.  If, however, a guy was clearly making advances and you exchanged phone numbers with the intention of a possible "encounter" with him... that would be cheating(ish)... less so than if you actually met him, but still, I'd have a problem with it.
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| Jan 27 @ 2:36 PM |
What is cheating? |
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Angel178
Posts: 21,508
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But Pete..there might be a need for me to contact the operations manager for some reason...he might need my number... 
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