| Jan 17, 2008 @ 10:04 AM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on?
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sputnik969
Posts: 2
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I have been with my wife for close to 10 years, I have a 3 year old girl, we've had our ups and downs in this relationship. for the past 3 months its been at a standstill. We tried couples councling but after 7 sessions she is not interested in attending anymore. she is in school fulltime and all she wants is to move out and be on her own and support herself without depending on me at all. She has not come out and said I actually want a divorce, but has given every sign that she is no longer interested in this relationship and is very upset at this present time. Her main reason to leave so she says is that changes I am making now may not be forever and she feels affraid of sticking this out to only be in this situation few years from now, OR is using that as an excuse to persue a different lifestyle as she has been talking to other guys in school pretty regularly but she says they are just friends she studies with.. Can I fix this alone and actually hope she can turn around? any suggestions ladies??? Do I call her on this or wait?
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| Jan 17, 2008 @ 10:21 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on? |
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Starliteisbrite
Posts: 19
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Marriage is far more then just being content.
....and one alone can not make a marriage work,it takes 2.
I can not assume,and can only go by what you have written,
...AND in doing so will say that I would bet she loves you,but that being in love as faded away.....in which case it sounds to me like this marriage is over.
before you both start disliking one another you should bring your cards to the rable and discuse what is to take place now.
...Sounds to me that going to school has opened many doors for her that she has not seen in a long while,it very well may be a faze,but in the meantime what about you???
YOU matter too.
...all the best and lite be with you.
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| Jan 18, 2008 @ 10:00 AM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on?
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sputnik969
Posts: 2
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Thanks for the kind words, I know financially she is not able to support herself and go to school fulltime as well as take care of a baby, we communicate ok and we dont fight all the time at all, I am trying to see if this is indeed a phase in her life and I understand she needs to have a social life outside our marriage, as long as it is not going to jepordize our chances of maybe getting over this hump and posssibly mending things betweeen one another. she is attending councling on her own and so am I, since I dont wanna lose her i will give this a bit of time and try to make all the changes I have control over and hope for the best, and yes i have to also think for myself as well, but I really do not want my daughter to have to go through this long term drama and be affected by it, by the same token she neeeds to have happy content parents too.. I guess only time will tell...
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| Jan 21, 2008 @ 9:18 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on? |
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ToucherinSparks
Posts: 6,699
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Geeze dude, if you're having pipe dreams, you're hittin' that sucks too hard. Try not hittin' the pipe so hard, and maybe one less rock a day, and those pipe dreams will stop.
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| Jan 21, 2008 @ 11:18 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on?
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katydid438
Posts: 8,306
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 didn't think drugs were the problem! If she wants to further her education, don't see that as a threat and support her in this. Your security in her desire for further education could make all the difference in the world (experience speaking) 
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| Jan 23, 2008 @ 4:56 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on? |
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MotownManiax
Posts: 9,737
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Well, I'm no marriage counselor, but if the problems only started three months ago I'd give her time to sort things out. No reason to throw ten years of marriage out the window because of the current impasse.
But like everything else in a relationship, communication is a must. If she's closed herself off, is giving signals about leaving, and NOT willing to be totally honest about keeping the relationship together, there's not much you can do. You can't "force" a partner to stay if they've made up their minds to leave.
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| Jan 23, 2008 @ 7:05 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 14,753
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my first thought is to just walk away from this thread... but in the spirit of welcoming new posters...what the hell...
Her main reason to leave so she says is that changes I am making now may not be forever and she feels affraid of sticking this out to only be in this situation few years from now, ....
what temporary changes can a husband make that a wife cannot accept if they are not forever...??.......to the point where she wants to leave...
OR is using that as an excuse to persue a different lifestyle as she has been talking to other guys in school pretty regularly but she says they are just friends she studies with..
and the problem here is...?? 
Can I fix this alone and actually hope she can turn around? any suggestions ladies??? Do I call her on this or wait?
sounds to me that a trust has been broken by you... but you are saying that if she cannot forgive and forget...maybe..you should bail on her.... ...Ladies??? comments..concerns or thoughts??? 
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| Jan 24, 2008 @ 4:53 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on? |
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gunn12fan
Posts: 5,585
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MOVE ON if it's over its over
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| Jan 29, 2008 @ 2:25 PM |
Am I holding on to a pipe dream? Or should I move on?
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lj450
Posts: 9,662
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I know how hard it is to move on after you find your dream pipe, but lets face it....you can only clean those things so many times. There is another pipe out there for you.....you will find it.
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