| Jan 25 @ 11:31 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Lovinheart445
Posts: 930
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I pose this question for anyone who has went through a break-up, whether it be from a marriage or a love relationship..Did you get closure, or did you not?
Case in point..During my marriage, I caught my wife cheating on me. When I did discover her evil doings, she fled immediately, and never gave me a answer to why...Why she she felt she had to cheat. After out divorce, I tried to ask her why to get some closure, but she failed to reply.. She went on her way, and I have been suffering ever since. Wanting to know just why she turned in another direction.
Has anyone ever been in that sitition, and just how were you able to handle it?
I think closure is important in any relationship. If not, it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Let me know what you think...Thankyou
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| Jan 26 @ 12:46 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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signme
Posts: 9,111
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Yep closure is important. My b/f picked a fight and hung up on me. We didn't speak for over a month. Then he emailed an apology. I called him to thank him. We are still talking but haven't seen each other since the fight. So I guess he's my ex but there really has been no closure there either. I'd like to know one way or another but whenever I try to bring it up he changes the subject. So what do I do? 
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| Jan 26 @ 1:00 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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katydid438
Posts: 6,457
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Sometimes we just have to accept that the other person does not have the insight necessary to speak up.
Some are just cowards
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| Jan 26 @ 1:02 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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signme
Posts: 9,111
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But I'm still sending back the shirts Katy! 
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| Jan 26 @ 1:05 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,743
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Sometimes they don't know the answer themselves (I've been guilty of that one), and sometimes they figure it would only hurt the other to hear it.
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| Jan 27 @ 5:04 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,942
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Great question Lovin....
Closure seems to have become very important to me in the last few years the more I took a look around and saw that I had nothing that I would call home. My best friend put it to me best a few days ago after I informed her that there was nothing and no one anymore in my life. Her reply was simple; she said that I had parts of the person I wanted everywhere, which is why i have never been happy or settled, and understood my need for closure because them being there was not getting me anywhere. She was right. She also congratulated me, then warned me that now is when the right girl for me will show. I had to laugh, but it always works that way, doesn't it?
anyway, sorry for digressing...
Closure for me is important because i want to give my "all of nothing special" to someone who will understand that I have nothing "special" anymore to give...
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| Jan 27 @ 5:26 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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KAOS2007
Posts: 5,082
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You can never have closure when everything was/is based on lies. Because the liar knows no other way than to continue to lie.
The best closure you can get is to live your life... without them.
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| Jan 27 @ 5:42 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,942
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It's not always that easy KAOS. Sometimes you actually "need" to end that chapter through confronting. All you look for at that time are the honest answers that time will provide after it has passed. If the person is not worth it, you will know upon sight or sound, and that is when their answer will no longer matter. You just need to get that moment over with first.....
...this is spoken from a romantics point of view....
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| Jan 27 @ 5:47 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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KAOS2007
Posts: 5,082
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I disagree. When everything has/is been based on lies? The best closure is to get as far away from them as possible! JMO of course. 
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| Jan 27 @ 5:53 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,942
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your opinion is respected, and again, my point is from someone who deeply believes in....hell...what is no longer cared about. too many question that are unanswered. me, from personal experience, knows that the questions never stop until you confront the cause. if the cause is a muse....i'm f***ed...that is unknowing central because the person represents so much at some point.
...any way...good point.
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| Jan 27 @ 5:57 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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KAOS2007
Posts: 5,082
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True about what is no longer cared about.... but... I can see why folks no longer care.. what's the 'effin point? So another assclown can come along and crush you with lies? Pfffffffffffftttttttttttttt. It's a cold world. People best get used to that.
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| Jan 27 @ 6:08 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 5,942
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to each his/her own shorty...
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| Jan 27 @ 11:23 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Lovinheart445
Posts: 930
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Well... I have to agree with everything sadian has to say..I believe we both share the same feelings, and thoughts when it comes to closure... I truly appreciate everyones comments on this subject.
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| Feb 1 @ 10:29 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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SHYBLONDE48
Posts: 1,203
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Closure is important to me. I didnt get it with my last break up though. I was just putting it behind me to when my ex said he missed chatting with me...which I didnt need  .
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| Feb 12 @ 12:40 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,890
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Sometimes, if you don't hear the other person tell you it's over, you hold out hope. Best to know exactly where you stand and move on. Rip the bandaid off quickly, rather than be held in limbo.
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| Feb 14 @ 8:18 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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Gman762
Posts: 2,985
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Some are cowards AND have zero couthe at all.
My last and I spent a morning of absolute bliss and she put her hand on my face while looking me in the eyes. She said, "I love you sooo deeply that I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you". She then proceeded to mind-fk me for the next 5 days by not acknowledging that I even existed. When I finally was able to talk with her over the phone, she said, "It's over...I don't love you any more". Those were our last words to one another.
After 25 years of chasing and finally connecting with this woman for months, she turned into the most hateful person I'd ever met in my life. This is a 45 YO woman that does the kind of twisted crap that a 16 YO kid might do (if they have zero compassion).
The closure for me is understanding that she has some twisted sickness. She had been talking marriage only a month before and I sure am glad that we didn't go there 
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| Feb 14 @ 9:06 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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oct_cat
Posts: 416
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Whether there is closure or not, there will always be memories. So even if a person really knows the hows and whys of a break-up, it won't completely wipe that part of your life away.
And the memories are good, even if they are bad. Negative memories will serve as a warning of where a person doesn't want to go again; positive memories will remind a person of all the good that has happened in their life.
Closure or no closure, it basically all comes down to the same thing . . . that's the past, what are you gonna do with your future?? 
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| Feb 14 @ 12:22 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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Gman762
Posts: 2,985
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Closure or no closure, it basically all comes down to the same thing . . . that's the past, what are you gonna do with your future??
Well, I'm here aren't I
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| Feb 14 @ 6:31 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 6,296
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just discovered this thread...and wow... I must be in the minority here..as nothing in my like has closure..just new chapters...
think of it like reading several different books on different years, months, days, hours or minutes... but never ever finishing them..
the ending of the soprano's comes to mind.. everyone perceived the ending in a different way.. and in the rehashing of it, .. it has never ended.. there was no closure provided at all.. in fact.. they could even start up where they left off..
I next am thinking ..well ... that closure might come at death.. but as a religious person.. even then it doesn't for me...
just some ramblings here...from ....me..
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| Feb 14 @ 8:22 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,890
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Everyone always perceives endings a different way. That's why they're endings.
There's disagreeing to a degree that things can't continue. He said, she said.
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