| Feb 26 @ 10:57 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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sweetgypsysoul
Posts: 56
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Closure is important.
Very.
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| Feb 27 @ 2:53 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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jendaisybee
Posts: 13
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From what I read after my break-up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, who I lived with, it's harder to get closure if you keep in contact with the person after you break up. This one book I read, gave the advice that you should have no contact for sixty days (they called it a "hetox" like detox from a man), because if you don't do that you might end up wanting to go back to the person or staying emotionally wrapped up in the relationship even though it's over for all intents and purposes. I have stayed in touch with my ex, only briefly though, and only because we had some things that we had to get settled regarding money and belongings and stuff like that.
I find that he wants to be friends now, which is harder for me than it seems to be for him, because when I talk to him it reopens old wounds, so I feel that it is best for me to just be on a very slight level of communication with him, and not to try to be good friends yet, because I'm not over the break up enough to want to be good friends with him yet.
I still care about him, and I hope that we will continue to be friends forever, which I think we will, but I need to have some closure first.
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| Mar 4 @ 2:18 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,495
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Closure is a funny thing, I've had relationships that ended ugly, or ended friendly... some I felt a need for closure, others where the pain was such that I was grateful for the end... I distrust the ones that wanted to "stay friends", that usually meant "be my friend and security blanket, until I meet a new guy"
the saddest thing I've seen the last few years, is that I have less and less tolerance for peoples odd behaviors... I tolerate less and less, I end things over minor issues I would have over looked a few years ago....
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| Mar 5 @ 10:55 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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AngelLight
Posts: 5,473
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In the most significant relationship I have had to date, I did get closure.
I did not receive it immediately but, it happened and I am now very clear as to why we had to part.
I had to part with him because I loved him.
For me, closure was very important.
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| Mar 5 @ 11:14 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Gman762
Posts: 3,291
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That's pretty sad, Angel. Very sorry :(
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| Mar 5 @ 12:51 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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nah12
Posts: 3,973
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IMO, closure is not about what you want to hear, it's about acceptance that it's over and moving on......no one can hand you closure you have to own it and move forward...
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| Mar 11 @ 2:11 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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heavenbound584
Posts: 11
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Closure is important especially when it comes to children involved.My son always asked me why did daddy leave me,don't he like me anymore.When the day came that I found out his new wife left him, I took my son to my ex's mom's house to visit,I never heard a 5 year old have that many questions,he asked him,why did you leave me,don't you love me,are you coming back home.He got all his questions answered eventhough he wanted his dad around him all the time,he was alright with the fact his dad lived by himself.
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| Mar 11 @ 2:15 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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hotdognchilli
Posts: 3,776
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Closure may be just build a bridge and get over it. 
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| Mar 11 @ 2:16 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 9,609
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Closure is important especially when it comes to children involved.My son always asked me why did daddy leave me,don't he like me anymore.When the day came that I found out his new wife left him, I took my son to my ex's mom's house to visit,I never heard a 5 year old have that many questions,he asked him,why did you leave me,don't you love me,are you coming back home.He got all his questions answered eventhough he wanted his dad around him all the time,he was alright with the fact his dad lived by himself.
WOWS Sorry but thats so f***ed up on so many levels.
Closure, Act or proceed of closing, close condition.
Close noun, Conclusion, end
catch that noun, Nouns are something you do. you make end. Not rip open different beginings.
Closure is important, yet nowhere near as important as acceptence.
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| Mar 11 @ 5:40 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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marylou
Posts: 10,644
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I think not having closeure when any type of relationship breaks up.....be it intimate....partners....whatever....it is heartwrenching not to have any closure of any sort.....and for those people who could give it ......and dont....out of spite or for whatever reason (hold it back)......then they should have their willies cut off.....ikf its male and if its female then the other things cut off.........LOL LOL LOL (jesting...but you know what I mean...LOL)
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| Mar 18 @ 1:13 AM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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andxr
Posts: 428
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Closure is very important!!!!!!
[Edited on 3/18/2008 2:16 AM]
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| Mar 18 @ 1:11 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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Once you have closure you can move on....If your left with questions it will torment you.
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| Mar 18 @ 6:37 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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madamegeek
Posts: 1,510
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There is NO easy way to come to an acceptance of not being loved as one wished; closure is ultimately the not-so-simple act of "closing the door" even if you don't understand. 
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| Mar 18 @ 6:47 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,360
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There is NO easy way to come to an acceptance of not being loved as one wished; closure is ultimately the not-so-simple act of "closing the door" even if you don't understand
Closure is about acceptance, not necessarily about understanding. We can't demand an explanation that makes sense to us any more than we can demand that someone love us as we wish to be loved. Closure is more about getting past the loss and all its stages of grieving, the same as losing someone to death. The final stage of grieving is acceptance.
Oops, just saw what Nah posted - exactly! 
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| Mar 18 @ 10:50 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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signme
Posts: 9,605
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I posted on page 1 about the break up with the ex, his apology and then the phone calls to keep in touch. Well he just pulled another stupid phone message and now things are over. I told him we are no longer friends and not to call anymore. It's like he had to go out of his way to say hurtful things. Now I'm sure most of the problem is on his side, so glad I'm out of the relationship for good.
edited to add: On topic, yes this closure was necessary for me.
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| Mar 21 @ 1:10 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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Prairiesmiles59
Posts: 20
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Closure shows the respect for the person you are hurting... and the integrity of your walk. So it is important to two people.
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| Mar 21 @ 3:20 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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madamegeek
Posts: 1,510
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..."Closure shows the respect for the person you are hurting... and the integrity of your walk. So it is important to two people."
I really do concur with you, but, if you are the "closer", you cannot compel someone to accept your offering of resolution, regardless of your intent to show them courtesy and respect. If you are the "closee", you cannot compel someone to respect you. It is not easy. Period.
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| Mar 21 @ 4:25 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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Prairiesmiles59
Posts: 20
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Hey Madame...... emotions do not have sense:) I try really hard when I have to be the hurter to take as much of the 'blame' as possible. It is only fair, because I will heal faster. Trick is to be as honest and straight forward, as soon as you 'know' and don't go further than you plan on following through on! No easy way... Sighhh... but I try. 
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| Mar 25 @ 6:04 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You?
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Important!
No email hit and runs.
Talking to someone like the 2 adults you should be
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| Mar 29 @ 10:40 PM |
Closure, Just How Important Is That For You? |
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DwainP50
Posts: 5,009
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 Closure is important because then you know when to move on!
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