| May 27 @ 5:13 PM |
do you feel like I do...
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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If your "other half" says to you after almost 3 weeks of not talking on the phone "Do you feel like I do that this is over?" what do you think he/she is trying to say to you?
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| May 27 @ 5:43 PM |
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willowy1
Posts: 2,519
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I would say are you gone yet? How cowardly! 
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| May 27 @ 6:13 PM |
do you feel like I do...
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Silver1961
Posts: 2,302
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do you feel like I do...
Peter Frampton???  
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| May 27 @ 7:09 PM |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,528
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I think he might have regrets. I could be wrong. You gotta come right out and ask.
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| May 27 @ 7:46 PM |
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Loreli
Posts: 18,610
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I would think they are trying to share guilt so they don't have to feel so bad...
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| May 27 @ 8:46 PM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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or was this his cop out way to make it sound like "I" ended it? 'Cause word is that is what he is telling every one.
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| May 27 @ 9:10 PM |
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whatagal
Posts: 724
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Ask DIRECTLY if that is what he wants. You never know unless you ASK.
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| May 27 @ 9:15 PM |
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teddybearagain
Posts: 517
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cop out way Good call Cougz. He wanted it over and didn't have the guts to tell you, therefore this way makes it look like it was on you. Just a thought
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| May 27 @ 9:43 PM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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when you reply "I didn't" and he continues to go on how he feels vulnerable, doesn't feel like he can talk to you, has trust and jealousy issues, but "is it too bad a way to go on?" seemed like a way out. I mean when the first question is "Do you feel like I do?" and not "Hey, how've ya been?" wouldn't YOUR suspicions and gaurd be up? 
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| May 27 @ 10:25 PM |
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DJ1024
Posts: 145
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if i don't talk to him or see him for 3 weeks, i've probably replaced him. in the words of Beyonce "there''ll be another you in a minute". not one for playing word games.
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| May 28 @ 12:05 AM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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It's was little more complicated than that, Dj, but thanks for your comments.
anyhow, it's over...has been for almost 2 months but that question keeps burning at me.
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| May 28 @ 12:10 AM |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 7,961
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I dont know
Dont you feel like you need to let it go?
then yep
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| May 28 @ 7:13 AM |
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oct_cat
Posts: 138
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Guilt trip, pure & simple. If after 3 weeks of no contact the other person starts the conversation with a persuasive comment like that, then they are just trying to hand some of the guilt to you.
I believe life comes full circle & the actions of others' eventually will come back to bite them in the a$$. Look at your son, give that young man a big hug & know that the relationship between a mother & child is a non-breakable bond & one you'll have forever. 
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| May 29 @ 2:23 AM |
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SunBabe
Posts: 11,812
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I'm going to put a little different spin on that statement, if I may, MsCougs. It could be that he thought he was asking a rhetorical question, that he aready knew your answer -- and you may have knocked him for a loop him when it hit you like a ton of bricks.
Three weeks. You can bet that he spent every odd moment of that time rehashing, reassessing, and rehearsing what he was going to say.
The thing is, if you were both truly in tune to each other, as in 'normal, healthy, communicative' (or intuitive) relationships, it wouldn't have neen such an out of the blue surprise, hon. 
What made this familiar to me is the fact that after a half a million years of marriage, we didn't need prolonged discussion or "Do you feel like I do that this is over?" -- we just BOTH knew. (The first words out of my ex's mouth when I announced I'd talked to a lawyer was "Whew. It was time one of us did something.")
I highly doubt those words to you were to assign "blame". It sounds more like something someone would say to share it, if anything -- equally -- that things just weren't "right" (no matter what 'reasons' were given later). Kind of like owning up to what was and wasn't there...and thinking you'd have recognized it, too -- even giving you the opening to agree and end things mutually and gracefully.
Seriously, I think he'd have made a clear statement rather than posing it as a question, if he'd truly been aware that you didn't feel at least a little bit the same way. I'd even go as far to bet that he wishes he could back up and rephrase it differently...but what's done, is done. All you can both do is move forward and try your darndest to stop the movie that replays in your head...there's not a whole lot new you can learn from it by now. Just know that when the "right" one comes along, there's a whole lot less chance for "surprises" (on either side) because you're so in-tune with each others emotions, thoughts, and communication style.
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| May 29 @ 12:16 PM |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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here are my questions...
was this a long distance relationship?
in the three 3 weeks, did you try to contact him?
was there a argument before the three weeks?
did he call you for any other reason ( besides to make the statement) ?
my take on what I read was...
you both reached an impasse in the relationship...
neither one of you reached out to each other..
he called you, ... asking a simple question...
because neither one of you reached out during the three week period... do you feel.... as he does... that it is over... or....
_______ insert your response here ______...
meaning.. it was not "over" until your response was given...
.....
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| May 29 @ 2:55 PM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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gallows....
it WAS a long distance relationship BUT...with the time difference when the clocks changed the deal was I was to email when I got home so he could call if he was awake (this way I did not wake his daughter up). I emailed every day! I did try calling BUT he had no answering machine OR call display so how would he have known?
also, did I feel the same way? I was mailing wedding invitations out the next day (they were sitting by the door ready to go) and I thought he was coming the following week to meet my mom. so the answer is no on my part.
my response?  I said "I didn't."
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| May 29 @ 3:22 PM |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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my response is...he is an ass....
I did not know about the wedding plans.. and you did everything a normal person in a long distance relationship would do..
... his  excuse.. for not calling ..was???
( what ever it was...it is not good enough...)
thank you for clarifying this...
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| May 29 @ 9:05 PM |
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teddybearagain
Posts: 517
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Cougzzzzzzzzz', SunB has some good comments IMO. You allowing this to fester inside isn't gonna make a lick of difference. OMG, you have shown a side of you here, in blogs, bulletins, that I LOVE! The real YOU is surfaced. You have a whole different attitude about you, etc, ... girl, let it go, you have to. I know you have for the most part, and things unanswered eat away at us. Take one more leap, a giant leap, and you'll land on your feet, always have, ..always will.
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| May 30 @ 1:01 AM |
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poeticcougar
Posts: 92
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thank you to EVERYONE. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest once and for all. I honestly feel ALOT better, actually been happy almost all week  Sure I still have stuff to take care of but it's esier now.
I actually LIKE the person I became in the past year. It feels good to let people into my life. I give him credit for that.
I'm deleting this forum in the morning. I thank you all for helping me get through that.
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| May 30 @ 7:38 AM |
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marylou
Posts: 9,799
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I think he just wants out........and wants to let you know he does.....and wants you to agree......so he can end things..........thats what it seems like to me.
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