| Jun 16 @ 8:03 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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curlygrl
Posts: 7
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On your marriage or relatationship? I know people stay because
its comfortable or they are afraid financially but what made you finally
throw in the towel ?
Also - maybe not even related- what makes married people cheat and
why dont they just leave the marriage? Is it the same as when the
relationship isnt working and there is no cheating involved? Its just comfortable?
or secure?
Thank You.
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| Jun 17 @ 11:05 AM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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bl8ant
Posts: 6
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self respect 
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| Jun 19 @ 12:01 AM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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scorpiogirl36
Posts: 1,043
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self respect
Good answer.
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| Jun 19 @ 2:44 AM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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sweet5red
Posts: 7,705
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when i realized how much i was taken for granted and how unhappy i was.. but now we are at least friends.... sweet N Louisiana
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| Jun 20 @ 10:12 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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DJ1024
Posts: 145
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when i realized the affect it was having on my kids, things weren't gonna change & i did not want my kids growing up in that type of situation.
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| Jun 21 @ 12:03 AM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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BandTMom
Posts: 25,156
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| Jun 21 @ 1:36 AM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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daisy315
Posts: 3,860
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he pulled the trigger.. when I found out he had his profile back up here and confronted him with it.. he tossed everything I owned out into the front yard in the pouring rain..
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| Jun 21 @ 3:43 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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Snappygoddess
Posts: 3,516
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Him dying after 20 yrs of a miserable marriage but two beauitful children!
Now that I am remarried....all it will take is for him to be unfaithful or take me for granted.....then....I am gone, although I don't see either one of those happening 
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| Jun 21 @ 5:30 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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signme
Posts: 8,865
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Verbal abuse. It never escalated into physical abuse, but I got out before that could happen.
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| Jun 21 @ 7:14 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,383
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Abusing my kids, actually just the younger one. I could defend myself, and did, when he tried beating me up. He's eased up a lot but he never should have been around kids. Not so funny thing is that a large part of why I married him was that I really thought he wanted a family as much as I did...more fool I.
Oh, and on the cheating part...he cheated because his 'big man' friend did. I should have paid a lot more attention to what his friends were like than I did. Live and learn..life is good now with a guy who's in it for the long haul, promises or no promises...and like me, just naturallly monogamous!
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| Jun 21 @ 7:15 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,383
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Sorry, looks like it hiccupped... 
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| Jun 24 @ 6:33 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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michedkel
Posts: 4,685
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About one pound of pressure.
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| Jun 24 @ 7:02 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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Verbal abuse/harrassment, and one day I was doing the Ann Landers relationship test (Are you better off with him or without him?) except my version was...
Am I more miserable with him or without him... that was when I realized just how bad it had gotten..  
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| Jun 24 @ 7:15 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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doncasto
Posts: 263
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It was hearing, "I am conflicted. I have discovered I am still not over my boyfriend in Seattle" . . .that and her having just spent the weekend there.
The indications were there, and I was picking up on them. Our phone conversations had become increasingly impersonal, and she was falling back from "demonstrative" topics . . .a real sign since she was not particularly demonstrative except when in the throws of libidinousness. Token endearments from my side of the phone call were met with resentment and criticism. Left with nothing much to say, I said only good bye.
I am still pondering my fortune in occasionally finding such wonderfully libidinous women that for time consider me as a "possible" . . .and ruminate as to the possible relationship between libidinousness and fidelity challenges. I keep coming back to one of my favorite theories, "It takes spending a couple of decades trying to raise a daughter before discovering how little one really knows about what makes women tick."
YMMV . . .
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| Jun 24 @ 7:28 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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Nightowl001
Posts: 3,139
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A phone call about a broken window.
This is a kind of a long explanation, but it needs some background.
I had done a LOT of soul searching, examining the situation. trying to figure out what the best course was. I couldn't truly answer whether or not I'd be more miserable without her than with her, 'cause I had such low confidence and self-esteem I was sure I would end up alone in a rented room with nothing but a radio. Now, my granndmother had passed away several years earlier and left me her house in this little town in southeast Kansas. But, it was a badly economically depressed area with few jobs, one cafe (open sometimes), one gas station/convenience store, a post office and not much else. And through the years I had paid a local woman to keep the grass cut and sort of keep an eye on the place for me, since I lived 150 miles away. Mary called me one day and said that a window was broken. She said she thought the wind had done it, but I might want to check it out and make sure no one had been inside. (Pretty much all my grandmother's "stuff" was still in the house.) Well, I had a weekend off and headed down here, and somewhere south of Topeka it hit me that this house I had all along in my mind considered "my grandmother's house" was MY house. It was literally that much of a realization. Almost a disbelief that "I own a house!" Had I stayed in Topeka working the same job, getting utility deposits, first and last months' rent and deposit on an apartment, all that kind of thing would have cost a pretty penny and I had no savings. BUT... I had a couple months vacation I'd never used, and if I quit and moved, they would have to pay me all that vacation pay in one lump sum. And I realized it was doable. But that realization that "I own a house!" was what made it feasible to take the next steps. And without the broken window to check on, it's hard telling how long I might have gone on just thinking of it as "my grandmother's house."
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| Jun 24 @ 7:44 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,553
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infidelity
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| Jun 24 @ 8:13 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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^^^^the long and the short of it...^^^
Our phone conversations had become increasingly impersonal, and she was falling back from "demonstrative" topics . . .a real sign since she was not particularly demonstrative except when in the throws of libidinousness .
1 result for: demonstrative
Main Entry: demonstrative
Part of Speech: adjective
Synonyms: affectionate, conclusive, definite, effusive, emotional, expansive, expressive, frank, open, outgoing, unrestrained
1 result for: libidinousness
Main Entry: desire
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: Sexual hunger.
Synonyms: amativeness, concupiscence, eroticism, erotism, itch, lust, lustfulness, passion, prurience, pruriency
maybe she was just getting to the point in your relationship where she was scared? 
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| Jun 24 @ 8:44 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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doncasto
Posts: 263
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Holy Kwapinskis, GH . . .
That's all I need now . . .to be scary!
Although perhaps I have been guilty of being occasionally incautious, situationally over-exuberant and in spite of my resolutions to the contrary . . .unguarded and balance challenged. If this equates to being threatening or scary, I am in serious danger of becoming unwillingly monastic . .
Thanks for the insight, nonetheless . . .Note to self: See if monks robes and cowls are available in light weigh summer fabrics, preferably wash and wear.
YMMV
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| Jun 24 @ 8:50 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger
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sloriver
Posts: 207
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To have her gone for three weeks and to realize I was happy now. When she asked to come back I said no and stuck to it. Sometimes you never realize how much it hurts til the pain stops.
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| Jun 24 @ 9:36 PM |
What did it take for you to pull the trigger |
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Aeromuse
Posts: 1,166
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Drunken abuse = deal breaker.
Sometimes you never realize how much it hurts til the pain stops.
So very, very true.
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