| Sep 9 @ 9:29 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
Time to lay it on the line.....
I lost someone special to me for one major reason....
I jumped into a relationship with her, just a few months after ending one!
I totally ignored all the advice given, especially by a very great and close friend on here, thinking they are clueless. They just do not understand what we have, and have found in each other....
But the truth is,
How could I be happy in a relationship or with her, when I did not allow myself to heal from the one prior. Yes it was new and exciting, but that is short lived when you are miserable inside.
What I learned.....
feelings are decieving. Everyone needs to be happy and comfortable with themself and have their lives in order, before they can even think about considering sharing their life with someone else!
Hard lesson to learn, and very costly!
so.......
c'mon....... I dare ya......
fess up....
what was YOUR responsibility in the failure in your last relationship?
coming to grips with your own responsibility, is half the road to healing!
|
|
  |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:36 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
CathyCRN
Posts: 3,982
|
Gee, can you email that to a special friend of mine!!!
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:37 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
lol,
feel free to cut/paste it!
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:38 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
CathyCRN
Posts: 3,982
|
 thanks
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:38 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Carol386
Posts: 3,185
|
In my marriage, not communicating. It got to the point that neither of us wanted to work it out or even try to figure it out. He drifted to another woman and I wrapped myself between my daughter, my job and showing my dogs.
Its not all one-sided - there are two people in any relationship and both need (should) to take responsibility - for the good and the bad
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:43 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
CathyCRN
Posts: 3,982
|
True, Carol. Communication is such a key component to any relationship. When one party refuses to communicate with the other, there's not much of anything left...The difficult part is even knowing where the problems lie when the other person refuses to talk...
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:44 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
Everyone needs to be happy and comfortable with themself and have their lives in order, before they can even think about considering sharing their life with someone else! This quote says it all.
I'll fess up. My last relationship was with a man who "drew me in". Wined and dined me, flowers, romance, etc, ..blah blah blah. Oh, did I mention he was wealthy, financially?
The relationship ended because one day I realized I wasn't being treated the way I wanted to be treated anymore. He became controlling, manipulating. "Why are you wearing THAT skirt to go out? Who are you trying to impress"? ..sort of things.
I realized I ALLOWED those things at first to go unnoticed because I didn't want to accept it, as I was too involved in the "what's in it for me saga",.... flowers, romance, etc.
I bailed, after a couple months. Today, I would never ALLOW a man to win me over by what he can give me materialisticly. I know ME now, and know what I want and need begins from inside of me. From there I project to the world who I am, but only after I have found it myself. Hence, your quote above is spot on my friend.
Prior, married to an alcoholic for twenty years; I still take blame in the relationship ending. Yes, he was the alcoholic, Yes, he did this and that, ...again, blah blah blah, .. BUT, I ALLOWED it, I was the co dependent one. Hence, my part in the failed relationship.
Folks, it ALWAYS takes two to make or break a relationship. One may initiate, but truth is, when it comes down to it, there's a reason why, and that can only be seen by both involved at times, but none the less, it takes two to tango.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:51 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
excellent point!
I was told by my recent breakup, that I did not appear to her, to be the same person I was on the internet. That my personality is totally different.
At first I was offended, thnking she is wrong, but the truth is, she wasn't!
I was withdrawn, and had very little to offer in terms of conversation or having fun.
I allowed shit just to happen, by procrastinating, rather than dealing with issues , when they came up. This is not normally me. I am, for the most part very outgoing and always cutting up about something. Our communication really sucked because I was so caught up in my little hell!
Its not that the relationship prior to her was bad, it wasnt..... I just didnt take time to be comfortable being me, before jumping in!
In hind sight, there were many red flags for her, and I.that we both ignored....
More communication, may have prevented us jumping so quickly, and possibly spared alot of hardship on both of us.
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 9:57 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
CathyCRN
Posts: 3,982
|
That's the hard part, Sky. Especially with online relationships. It's difficult to gauge the speed at which things should progress. When you chat with and talk with someone daily, or multiple times daily, you feel like you know them. When you finally get together, it's like you've known each other forever (at least that's the way I felt). It's hard, then, to know where to go from there, especially if distance is an issue. Back to communication. Had we discussed things more instead of forging on ahead, perhaps things would be different today, who know.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:08 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
Communication, communication, communication, .. say it like you would say, .. location, location, location!
If you're going to open your world to another, then you have to start from the get go by talking, and not just talking, but talking honestly and openly. About everything, and anything. If it enters your head, you should discuss it, no matter how trivial you may think it is.
WIthout communication you're doomed.
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:19 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
ok, I will buy that......
Hey Teddy.....
have you ever made love in a kayak?
......sorry, that just popped into my head.....
and you said..........
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:25 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
not yet, is that an offer?
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:29 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
careful dog......
ya gonna end up findin yaself
up the creek without a paddle!
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:32 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
If you aint bringin' your "paddle" I'm not gettin in the kayak
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:34 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
relax.......
if ya start to drift away,
just tie yaself off to a nearby log!
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:36 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
OK, I know after a break up your mind may not be working at 100%, .so I'll try again, ; .. ready?
If you aint bringin' your "paddle" I'm not gettin in the kayak
"Paddle" being the key word here ... Hellllo?!?!
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:38 PM |
Confessions.......
|
|
Skydognc
Posts: 2,991
|
ohhhhhhh Ill bring the paddle arlight!
and use it on ya ass!
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 9 @ 10:39 PM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
Hey, quit pickin' on us Greeks' .. (wonders if he got that one)
lil help ....and use it on ya ass! ...
|
| |
|
| Sep 10 @ 1:19 AM |
Confessions.......
|
|
custis
Posts: 1,365
|
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Now I know why you walk that way.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 10 @ 6:29 AM |
Confessions....... |
|
teddybearagain
Posts: 769
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|