| Apr 20 @ 11:57 AM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
AwsumLover69
Posts: 64
|
Just curious I guess..Whats the difference between losing someone you loved very much and never seeing or touching or feeling them again or losing someone who died. ..They feel the same to me...mmm.. 
|
|
  |
|
| Apr 20 @ 2:00 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
havUheard
Posts: 34
|
Losing someone who died you will never, for sure see them again. Losing someone due to break-up, there's always a chance you may "bump" into them again.
|
| |
|
| Apr 22 @ 4:06 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
Snappygoddess
Posts: 5,094
|
Death is pretty final so I would say it's worse to lose someone that way...there is always a chance to see or touch a loved one after a breakup.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 22 @ 4:40 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
pamdemonium
Posts: 17,347
|
I think in some ways, it's harder than death. With a death, there's a finality.
When someone remains alive and you can't touch them, see them, and there
are unresolved issues, every single day, it's another little death.
|
| |
|
| Apr 22 @ 5:02 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
thor22
Posts: 3,350
|
"living changes nothing, death changes everything"...dr house 
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 22 @ 5:50 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
lj450
Posts: 9,550
|
If she's still alive, you can always dream of killing her some day.
|
| |
|
| Apr 22 @ 5:56 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
|
I think in some ways, it's harder than death. With a death, there's a finality.
When someone remains alive and you can't touch them, see them, and there
are unresolved issues, every single day, it's another little death.
Both ends of the spectrum and both spot on.
If she's still alive, you can always dream of killing her some day.
|
|
| |
|
| Apr 23 @ 3:12 AM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
JOY555
Posts: 212
|
I think you are right coldinwisconsin. I found out a couple of weeks ago that my e-husband (Married 1994-1997) shot himself in the head with a shot gun. While I do feel bad that he killed himself, I also rembember going down to his sister's house with blood splader on my face from him. His sister had me clean up my face and go back home. I have had nightnamers that I have been in the house with him, no violence, just fear that I could not get out again. The dream has always been scarry for me. He always threatened that he would come after me and my family. Now that I know he is dead, I feal releaf? Am I an awful person or just kind of normal? Please, only respond if you are serious. I do not know what to feel.
|
| |
|
| Apr 23 @ 7:15 AM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
|
Joy...You and I go way back. Way before I ever even joined this site. We are friends of old.
You have every right to feel relief. A peace. A finality. That doesn't mean you are waving your panties around glad that he is dead, just that that part of your life is finally over and in a very real sense, buried and gone.
You have a new man. A new life. One filled with happiness, light and hope. I think sometimes when that happens, it makes the dark all the more profound. That when we are surrounded by the good and protective, it make the scary and dangerous bits all the more prominent.
Whatever was in his head is now quiet. You've walked that road and you have no responsibility to go down it again. There is only looking forward and into the light. No guilt. No regrets. There is no shame in feeling safe and loved. Only Joy. Just like your name. Yeah...that's what's left.
Joy.
|
|
| |
|
| May 8 @ 1:21 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
carpediem48
Posts: 3,312
|
My heart went out to Joy,,,hope she is doing ok,,,very hard,,,unimaginable what she experienced
When someone dies,,,it's too late to say 'I'm sorry'
When a father dies he can't come to your child's 'junior high' graduation
Stuff like that
|
| |
|
| May 9 @ 7:29 AM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
79USMC83
Posts: 12
|
Love is a beautiful feeling. When someone breaks up with us it is our pride and ego's that get hurt. That can lead into huge resentment torwards that person. So I guess love them like they had passed away.
|
|
| |
|
| May 9 @ 1:25 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
Loreli
Posts: 25,398
|
I hope Joy comes back....and CW, if you talk to her? Tell her I care. 
|
| |
|
| May 11 @ 10:09 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
jdctx
Posts: 225
|
To choose between break up or death.. I loved my last girlfriend way too much to ever even wish for closure through her end but I had come so extremely close to ending my own stopped in the greatest moment in my life. I had gone through a lot of struggle but never felt as much pain.
I still feel it today and everyday.. It had taken near 6 months before I did not cry on a daily basis..It been a few years and even now I can not bring her up without drawing up mixed feeling.. I'm 41 but at 38 at the time every ounce of me thought she was the one but it was shattered and I will never be the same because of it...If there had been something more I could have do I would have done it..
That how I feel but you have the facts and getting through my extreme feelings I know now she was now where near the angel and would have damaged my life...
I can't compare my ordeal to anything else because it stands on its own.
I think because of how strongly I had felt for her even if things would have worked out and she had been the right for me and if something had happened to her I would have felt similar emptiness and would have faced the same challenge but for different reasons.
today I take things on day at a time and learn to devour every bit of good no matter how microscoptic l.. People who know me in person think that i could " make lemonade out of diarrhea" if only they knew right? but still some funny sh!t.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 5:30 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
carefree
Posts: 41
|
I am the girl who was known as Joy. After the night I wrote this, I was afraid of what people would say. I was afraid that people would judge me badly. I deleted my account. I have come back as carefree. I hope that I have not violated any rules of Matchdoctor. I was just afraid of putting my feelings out there and what people would say.
I did know coldinwisconsin before this site. I have just now read her post to me that night. I have also read some other posts to me from this thread. This has caused me to reveal that I am back. I want to thank the people who responded so kindly to me. You have touched my heart.
Thank you
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 6:31 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
|
 Love you girl. One of the three "Muses" you will always be.
We were glorious back then were we not?
Do you really think my feelings for you would change when you felt hurt and frail?
Never......
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 6:38 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
JenRNinOhio
Posts: 4,157
|
When there is a break up ... at least one of you chooses.
Death gives no choice.
He didn't want to go.
I didn't want him to.
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 6:40 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
|
 Awwww baby girl....my heart just breaks for you.
I wept for you. Many did.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 7:57 PM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
carefree
Posts: 41
|
Love you girl. One of the three "Muses" you will always be.
We were glorious back then were we not?
Do you really think my feelings for you would change when you felt hurt and frail?
Never......
The Three Muses... We sure were glorious  I didn't think you would feel any different about me, I guess I just felt.... I don't know. Scared of what people would say.
Love Ya girl
|
| |
|
| Sep 5 @ 8:00 PM |
Whats the Difference ?
|
|
carefree
Posts: 41
|
When there is a break up ... at least one of you chooses.
Death gives no choice.
He didn't want to go.
I didn't want him to.
[QUOTE]I must admit I do not know of your situation, but your hurt is palpable. Please accept my condolances
I know what it is like to loose someone. The pain never goes away.
|
|
| |
|
| Sep 6 @ 1:02 AM |
Whats the Difference ? |
|
SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,138
|
Funny thing, I totally believe in reincarnation so to me, death is a transition. When someone dies, they realize the truth and they know what you felt and they can see inside you. So death is far easier for me to accept than never being able to touch or be with someone I cared about again. We are actually closer after death...to me anyway.
I am not saying I do not miss them when they die. I do. I grieve. It takes years to get thru it for me. But I can rationalize the pain. It can be harder to let go of someone alive especially when you two were never able to resolve anything. THAT is painful.
|
| |
|
|