| Jul 21 @ 11:39 PM |
rebound relationships
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RainSongSpirit
Posts: 52
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I am kinda naive here. I want to know how long is a good time to grieve a relationship of a year and a half? We lived together. Some say dive back in. My ex is already involved. Five weeks out. (well he cheated so I am not sure how long now)  So....., i'm kinda thinking the heart has to heal, ponder what went wrong, and work from there. Also I personally think it's good to take a personal respite. Just my thoughts. I do not want anyone to be in the situation of a rebound. It is not fair to either party.  peace 
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| Jul 22 @ 2:35 AM |
rebound relationships |
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youbetcha
Posts: 14,834
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Hey, we all need people to help us heal IMO anyway, so don't rule people out just because you are on the rebound
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| Jul 22 @ 8:48 AM |
rebound relationships
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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I think it all depends on what you are looking for. My last relationship was not that long and I am certainly ambivalent. Having said that, I have no problems going out with men. Good friends, men that I have recently met. There is nothing wrong with having a good time when you are not interested (at this point) in something more serious.
Enjoy them. Men can be great fun. In fact, most are. Just don't get into a relationship until you have dealt with the dirt from the last one. There is no point in ruining a good man because of a bad one.
Just my take on things here....
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| Jul 22 @ 7:05 PM |
rebound relationships |
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BeachGuy
Posts: 177
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"The rebound" is just that.....don't ever regret or put either party down because they have bounced back and still have the ability to realize that each relationship is different and may not end the way envisioned. 
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| Jul 22 @ 10:14 PM |
rebound relationships
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RainSongSpirit
Posts: 52
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I got asked out to dinner last week. I did not go. Even dinner is too much. I guess everyone is individual. I'm simply not ready for the company even.  All in time.
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| Jul 22 @ 11:23 PM |
rebound relationships |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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I know you feel you want to take control of your life and be ABLE to date again but the hurt is still fresh.. maybe try going on a group date thing or maybe a large gathering of friends...that way its not a DATE its more of a fun time and you wont feel obligated to FEEL anything .. huggs dear one .. it gets easier  
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| Jul 22 @ 11:37 PM |
rebound relationships
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Nightowl001
Posts: 7,503
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RSS, I don't think how LONG you were in the relationship has much to do with how DEEPLY you were into it.
Time has a way of ingraining habits, but the habits we develop around being with someone, as opposed to the habits we have when we are on our own, are just reminders one way or the other that things have changed. The way we interacted with one certain person doesn't mean that is the way we have to interact again when we find love again. But those are the hard parts of "getting over" someone, no matter how we came not to be together any longer.
People heal at different rates, and none of can truly understand how deeply wounded another is. If you don't feel you're ready, I'd say don't push yourself into anything. When you start thinking "Okay, I should get back out there," then do it.
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| Jul 23 @ 5:01 PM |
rebound relationships |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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Just wanted to add.. that take all the time YOU feel you need.. rushing into another relationship even if its years later when you are NOT ready is just as bad as chargin in the day after a breakup...I did that and am STILL trying to get out from under that POS ... and with Mac I dated but never looked for serious yanno?? Really wasn't looking for serious when I first went out with him...But it happened ....I guess it was just the right time...  dont feel you have to live up to anyone's time line but your own
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| Jul 23 @ 5:23 PM |
rebound relationships
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chubs
Posts: 2,569
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getting rebounds is one of my favorite parts of playing the game...its all in your defense and how well you block out your opponet...and I gotz me some sharp elbows 
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| Jul 23 @ 5:27 PM |
rebound relationships |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,199
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and that belly outta rebound 'em to the other side of the court. 
YB, rebound men are trouble, pure trouble. Rebound is off bounds!! 
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| Jul 23 @ 5:33 PM |
rebound relationships
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chubs
Posts: 2,569
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then, after I grabs the rebound, I gotz me a first step that is so quick going the other way down the court I ususally leaves 'em in the dust
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| Jul 23 @ 5:57 PM |
rebound relationships |
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willowy1
Posts: 9,199
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traveling
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| Jul 23 @ 6:01 PM |
rebound relationships
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chubs
Posts: 2,569
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head & shoulder fake...stutter step...not a travel, but sometimes its so quick I fools those stoopid striped madarins 
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| Jul 25 @ 10:41 PM |
rebound relationships |
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RainSongSpirit
Posts: 52
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and so....i decided to go....and it was not terrible. very casual and relaxed. not dating.....just dinner buds......
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| Jul 26 @ 11:55 AM |
rebound relationships
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BeachGuy
Posts: 177
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Each person has a different grieving/healing process and some take longer than others.For someone to point out that another person is on the "rebound" and is wrong isn't fair....Some people take weeks,months or even years to have the ability or desire to try to move on....others make take only hours or days.
Someone who jumps into another relationship very soon can sometimes described as a person that really didn't have "real' feelings for this previous SO to start with...if they did then why were they able to move on so quickly?....Just because they didn't grieve as much as someone thinks is appropiate...doesn't mean that they didn't have true feelings for their previous interest.
Stereotyping based on healing time or hurting time is unfair.....Each person is entitled to their own transition period....no matter how long or short it may be.
JMO
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| Jul 26 @ 12:52 PM |
rebound relationships |
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Fender
Posts: 8,513
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It took me 4 yrs, but I'm different. I don't mind being alone...Give yourself time and just be friends with people. When it's the right time you'll know. You'll start being attracted to people again and wanting more than just a friendship with them.
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| Jul 26 @ 7:40 PM |
rebound relationships
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BeachGuy
Posts: 177
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It took me 44 years!!!!!!!!...I'm different too.
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| Jul 26 @ 8:49 PM |
rebound relationships |
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scorpiogirl36
Posts: 4,002
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Let me just say this....if you have "sincere" feelings for someone, out of " respect" for them as well as yourself, you would take an "emotional break" between relationships.
In some cases there are people that tend to be "very" insecure and are driven to jump to the next person without a breath in between......insecure being the op word here.
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| Jul 26 @ 9:03 PM |
rebound relationships
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BeachGuy
Posts: 177
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may I ask what your definition of an "emotional break" might be? 
Maybe just a segment of time would put it into perspective a little better for ME!
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| Jul 26 @ 9:05 PM |
rebound relationships |
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scorpiogirl36
Posts: 4,002
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More than 4 hours!
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