| Feb 13, 2007 @ 4:31 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
as most ye'll know i stir up a lil trouble sometimes.....   
but guess what, i aint gonna do dat this tyme. this is mostly towards the ladies ( yes lindy n lacey that includes ye'll too.....   )
i have a freind with a lil problem, and i dunt know what ta say or have any clues ta whats goin on, he's met a woman that he's nuts fer and she feels da same way, the other day she went a lil freaky and we caint understand why, sumthin bout how its not goin ta work, mixed feelins yet she doesnt wanna lose em, what the ells goin on in her head, and i knows ya woman think alike so help out if ya's can
SHUT UP HILLI i dunt need goat advice!!!!.......
|
|
  |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:32 PM |
woman...need help |
|
dark_moon
Posts: 158
|
This usualy happens when things move too fast. It's the same sudden panic guys have when they think a woman is getting too serious too soon. If he'll give her a little breathing room it will probly pass.
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:33 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
simplylindylu
Posts: 280
|
Don't know all the facts, such as how long have they been together?
PISSST CB? u havin problems w/one of your women already? LOL
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:35 PM |
woman...need help |
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
its fer a friend lindy.....really....
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:45 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
simplylindylu
Posts: 280
|
I think dark moon pretty much hit it on the head w/her advice
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:48 PM |
woman...need help |
|
dark_moon
Posts: 158
|
I think dark moon pretty much hit it on the head w/her advice
I am the master....at running scared that is 
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:51 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
and why is that, is it if u r gettin to close to someone u freak out? why?
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:53 PM |
woman...need help |
|
simplylindylu
Posts: 280
|
Well CB sometimes if things move really fast its like its too good to be true, just have to trust that it is.
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 6:54 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
he does, he believes she the one hes been lookin fer his whole life
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 7:00 PM |
woman...need help |
|
simplylindylu
Posts: 280
|
then tell her like dark moon said, give her plenty of time and space, maybe thats what she needs..... listen to me, Dear Abby.. NOT lol
|
| |
|
| Feb 13, 2007 @ 7:04 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
thats almost what i told em, but what do i know.... 
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 14, 2007 @ 11:02 AM |
woman...need help |
|
doc65270
Posts: 831
|
well this is really confusing to me. first of all what do you mean by freaking out?? and they say moving too fast. well what they are telling you is to lie to me. thats right. if you feel something for someone and don't reveal your feelings your telling a lie. its like your suposta show that you really don't care when you do. i never quite figured out this moving too fast thing. put things in reverse do it like it was done 50 years ago and there would be less problems. the trouble today is people are all to fired up and quick to jump into bed with someone. the main thing on your mind is "IS THE SEX GOOD?" if people forgot about the sex thing and worked on a relationship first there would be a lot less problems going on. but after you get the sex thing going then one or the other finds out that the persons personallity sucks an don't want to be with them then there is problems one is hurt and don't want to quit. that leads to more arguing and fighting. this site has thousands of people on it and i bet you can't find 20 people that will not live with someone, well hell after you been humping it why put a ring on it. why buy a cow when you get the milk for nothin, why buy a pig for a little sausage. when people start to get a little smarter they will see happiness in their life. raise your morals a tad bit. i mean with all the desease around today and it takes like almost 2 years for aids to show up don't you think it would be a little safer on everyones part to put that part off a while. today people put too much effort into the sex thing instead of finding out more about the person etc. now i am ready for the feed back to start rolling. lmao
|
| |
|
| Feb 14, 2007 @ 4:14 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
jellybean635
Posts: 191
|
Like doc what do you mean Freaking out?
Most men that I have met seem to think that you show them a little attention, they are ready to get married, and that is a big NO in my book, Maybe she thinks that he is moving too fast or better yet she is not so sure on her own feelings and it could also be a hormone problem too... but who knows,
The only thing I can suggest is to tell your friend to sit down with her and talk, and find out what she is actually feeling. and her reactions to the relationship//
That is the MAIN thing to a relationship is conversation amoung each other and Honesty
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 14, 2007 @ 5:13 PM |
woman...need help |
|
cowboyII
Posts: 445
|
doc n JB, ive told em that, the freakin out thang is she was ready ta end it, now she says shes got a few issues, shes had b/f that were usless and now met someone that works n cares bout her, i told em just hang ion there and she'll come around
|
| |
|
| Feb 15, 2007 @ 5:34 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
doc65270
Posts: 831
|
ISSUES?? tell me who don't have issues. you see its like this, a gal in illinois that i contacted one time that i was interested in and i believe she was interested in me also. well after a short time she wants to change her mind because she is just plain scared. well hell i am scared also i am tired of being hurt etc. then this gal tells me that this guy from sometime earlier in her life wants to talk to her. well she still has feelings for him but if they can't work things out then i am diffenatly in the running. first of all i don't like this but i am not a ruler or controller expecially of someones life that i have just met and only been writing to for a short time. well about 3 days later she contacts me. this guy wants a girl friend here and one there and another one over there etc. well she said forget it. ok so now i am back in the race right well no i am not. she is not sure she wants someone in her life at this time etc. then she does then she dont well i say shit or get off the pot. so i told this gal that she has a lot of problems and she needs to get her life cleaned up a little bit before we could have anything. she also has a son that was to be getting out of prison last month and i said she needs to reestablish a relationship with her son instead of working on a romance. so no we are going to communicate and just talk not planning on a meeting or anything like that which is fine with me. then come to find out this heffer is telling lies to me. so i just told her  i am not here to play games  its like i said before this guy needs to tell her what he wants and how he feels and get her to do the same thing. in short shit or get off the pot and move on. i have a 0 tollarance for bullshit. 
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 15, 2007 @ 6:36 PM |
woman...need help |
|
stilsearchn
Posts: 258
|
hmmm, they both need to sit down and talk to eachother, their wants and non-wants for their relationship. One might feel more than the other one for as far as they'd like to go at this point. Am I making any sense here, cowboy?
I was with a guy for 3 months or so, we talked about everything from our pasts to having kids, getting remarried, etc. We met up on the weekends as I work in STL during the week and he's in my home town. All of a sudden, he started getting more busy on the weekends to where we're hardly seeing eachother, I chalk it up to he did have more work coming in, trying to get his business (auto repair/painting) back up off the ground since his divorce say 3-5 years ago. Anyway, all of a sudden I get the text mesg after not hearing from him for over a week, and he's pulling away, doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Hmmm..at least he said he didn't want to. So see, the situation could be something that came up between your two friends, the guy sees things his way, the gal sees things her way, maybe she is afraid that he might be like all the other guys, of course if they're not willing to take a chance on love, then why are they together in the first place.
|
| |
|
| Feb 15, 2007 @ 7:36 PM |
woman...need help
|
|
dark_moon
Posts: 158
|
and why is that, is it if u r gettin to close to someone u freak out? why?
Well it usualy goes about like this...
I go out with a guy maybe two weeks and he's calling me every day. And e-mailing or IMing two or three times a day. Ok things are new and we have lots to say getting to know each other and all. But I don't really have time for this much communication. Especialy as a permanent thing.
Next thing, maybe a month into it we've had sex and he's madly in love and calling me multiple times per day, and sending several off line IMs saying "you there"...as if I live in front of the puter and have the phone permanently attached to my ear.
One guy long time back wanted to call me every day as he was comuting to work and then as he commuted home....wanted to stay on the pone the whole time...and he had an hour and half commute. That's three hours a day on the phone. And believe me neither of us had such exciting lives as to have that much to talk about to fill three hour a day.
Sure at the very first the attention may be nice. But then it begins to seem that this person his swallowing up not only all your time (and usualy asking to get even more time) but the very air you are trying to breath.
Picture this... I frequent a local night club, and have for years. Usualy I am there just hangin with my buds, going around talking to differnt people I know, maybe dance a little. I usualy do some line dances. It's an acticve socializing thing.
So one time I was dating this guy and we went and the whole night he has to have me in some death lock that, I'm not kiding I could not even manage to have both feet on the floor at the same time and had to wretch an arm free any time I wanted to take a sip of my drink or smoke. And anyone I managed to talk to it was over his shoulder.
Now grant it most guys aren't THAT clingy but allot do want to stand there in a lovers embrace staring at each other all night. So why even go?
When it seems that a man has sudenly wrapped his whole world around you, it is suffocating. Just seems like an overwhelming expectation looming over you. And this before you even have had time to really get to know each other.
You don't yet know this guy really well and he has all these feelings and expectations. It's PRESSURE.
doc is right that people would be better off to get to know each other better and over a longer period of time.....get to know each other like friends....before getting into sex and a serious relationship.
And about sex and STDs.... Ya not only all the stuff we are now accustomed to worrying about, now we find out about HPV. Not HIV...HPV Human Paploma Virus is so common that 50% of people will get it the first time they have sex, and 75% of people who have been sexualy active have had it. And IT IS THE CAUSE OF CERVICAL CANCER
Unprotected sex can cause cancer. And they say HPV can even be spread hand to genital. Or how would you like to contract it oraly....doesn't that sound sexy. It amazes me how many people say they use condoms to protect from STDs when they have sex, but then freely admit that they perform oral sex with nothing at all. Oh hell I'm on a tangent and straying from the point.
When a guy (or gal) finds himself in that place, hearing those words, they should back up from that place of thinking "This is the one I can feel it, why should we hesitate?" and think real hard about how many times before they have stood at that same place. Because chances are they have entered every relationship in the same way - headlong and blind not even really knowing this person they think they are destined to be with.
It's called Limerance or Limerant...actualy I may be spelling it wrong...Limerence.....look it up, you'll be amazed.
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 15, 2007 @ 8:05 PM |
woman...need help |
|
dark_moon
Posts: 158
|
Limerence has certain basic components:[1]
intrusive thinking about the limerent object
acute longing for reciprocation
some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means reciprocation
fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence
intensification through adversity
acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object
an aching in the chest or stomach when uncertainty is strong
buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems evident
a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background
a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute.
http://www.answers.com/topic/limerence
|
| |
|
| Feb 16, 2007 @ 12:55 AM |
woman...need help
|
|
laceywiggles2
Posts: 514
|
Well, Cowboy, there could be two possibilites to this one!
First, she has realized she's not quite as crazy about the guy as she thought. Perhaps something has come up in their meetings that has scared her about him. Perhaps there has been something happen that has took her back to what she's already been through and she doesn't want that ever again.
OR, she realizes things are moving too fast, she needs to slow down, but instead she's running backward. Often times, like men, women want something really bad, only to then realize that they have it, then they don't want it anymore. She now knows that she can have it, the adventure of it all has been conquered to where there is no more desire.
OR, she has realized a real relationship is just not what she wants.
So many ways to look at this, it's like finding a needle in a haystack to determine which direction this has turned. Nobody knows but her.
And, communication, honesty, respect and trust are the keys to a relationship, no matter what anybody says. If you don't have them, you will fall. Both persons need to be adults and sit down and talk this situation out so as not to second guess the other. They need to communicate and be honest.
Lacey will now step down from her ranting box for the night!!!!!
|
|
| |
|
| Feb 16, 2007 @ 1:12 AM |
woman...need help |
|
doc65270
Posts: 831
|
well i can understand that someone will fall for someone else expecially if she is a really nice looking gal with some big boobies and some junk in her trunk. seriously the longer you talk to someone the more of a idea you get if you like them a bunch or if they are just ok or you want nothing to do with this person. i have been around for a while and one thing i have never seen is a couple that loves equally. one or the other loves is deeper or more concrentated. i am a touchy kind of guy i love holding hands or having my arm around her things like that. but no matter what you do it should be agreed to by both parties involved. not everyone likes the same things in life. thats why we are all different and you have to state your likes and dislikes in advance. it takes a while maybe a year say to get to know someone. it just depends on how many of those little talks you have. above all remember one thing no matter how bad you or the other person needs sex you need respect more. and 9 times out of 10 when the guy gets his score he don't feel like he has to try as hard anylonger. if one is out for sex the sooner they get what they want the less respect they have for the other party. and at this point in time its expected. ok they call it "MAKING LOVE" but anymore it just seems like its sex cause very seldom is the first time with someone love. think about it.
|
| |
|
|
|
|