| Aug 21 @ 12:33 PM |
what do you think??
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doc65270
Posts: 831
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ok i got divorced in 1977. ever sence that time my ex has been truing to get back into my life. the cause of divorce falls on my shoulders i just came out of a war zone where i spent the last 39 months and my head was screwed up but i didn't know it. last nov she contacted a member of my family and then around march she started e mailing me. i have been single for over 20 years now and i am wanting someone in my life. we didn't have many problems other than me and i figured what the hell why not see where this goes. so i bought a cell phone for her and put it on my account things was a little rough at first because she still felt some anger at me but we talked about all that and got things streightened out and we talk just about every day. we miss a day here and there but 99 % of the time its good conversation making head way. she has a wedding to attend in chicago in oct so i am going there to visit for the first time in many years sence i last saw her. i would like to know others oppinions of this is it good or bad and why. doc
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| Aug 21 @ 2:34 PM |
what do you think?? |
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scottyjw
Posts: 4
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Hi there Doc. That is a question only you can answer, my friend. Obviously you still care about her, if you were willing to give this a shot. The only thing that I fear is that you are possibly using this as an easy way to have that "someone in your life." Being with someone is tough enough, without adding a bad past to it. I would make sure both of your intentions are clear in what you are trying to achieve together. The only way to do that is confront it head on. There is no use wasting time on a failure waiting to happen. I am not suggesting that is what would happen, however you have been down that road before with her. Regardless if there was post traumatic stress involved in the break up 20 years ago, you would both have to make sure you are starting with a clean slate. NO bringing up the bad past, it is a scab that needs to heal if you are to ever have a chance at being happy again together. If that is something that can be agreed on, and you two care for one another, I say go for it! Maybe that twenty years apart was meant to be there, as both of you grew and matured as people, two souls coming together again, for all the right reasons! I wish you the best in what ever decision you choose. For only you have the real answer.............
God bless!
Scott
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| Aug 22 @ 1:44 AM |
what do you think??
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laceywiggles2
Posts: 514
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Great advice, Scotty.
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| Aug 22 @ 1:53 AM |
what do you think?? |
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doc65270
Posts: 831
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20 years? i wished its been 32. well we have talked about all that she knows what i am looking for. and she is looking for me for the same reasons. she never remarried and kept my last name. its been a bad past but getting a lot of things cleared up about the past. like i said before it was all my fault i can't place any blame on her.
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| Aug 22 @ 8:01 AM |
what do you think??
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scottyjw
Posts: 4
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Doc, I think you have the answer you need, directly from yourself. Regardless who was to blame, it still caused problems for both of you in the relationship. It sounds like you have a good plan worked out to keep the past in the past. I hope everything goes well and you are completely happy! It is not often we have a chance to mend fences in a previous relationship. Have a great weekend Doc!
God bless!
Scott
ps I just used that 20 year figure from your original post, when you said you have been single for 20yrs.
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| Aug 26 @ 12:12 AM |
what do you think?? |
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laceywiggles2
Posts: 514
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Scotty is right, Doc, we rarely are lucky enough to mend past fences, much less get back together with an ex. Wish I could with 1 or 2, but it will never happen. One ex relationship was both our faults, the last was his. I don't see either ever getting back together with me, they are extremely stubborn men. But, it's their loss as I see it.
I've been single since 1991 (18 yrs). Had two men along the way that I would have stayed with forever, and they bailed. Commitment was just too much for them, or perhaps I should say more than they could handle. Hmmmm, maybe I was more than they could handle. LOL [e44
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| Aug 27 @ 8:13 AM |
what do you think??
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doc65270
Posts: 831
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lacy i know what your saying i have been alone sence 1988 thats a long time. like i said this one was all my fault and she is scared so we are working on it slowly and part time. she is planning on coming here to stay for a month or so then go back to california for a while then back here again so on so forth. she was a pretty good ole gal and i feel very fornatute for this oppertunity. she is worried about someone from my past coming back and like i told her they are in my past for a reason can't come back. it wont do them any good if they did come back.
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| Aug 28 @ 12:50 AM |
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laceywiggles2
Posts: 514
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Well, Doc, no wonder she's concerned, when you say it like that (they are in your past for a reason, can't come back, she may be thinking . . . . she's been there, too). I would.
But, I wish you much luck, as I said, most of us never get that chance, perhaps you will.
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| Aug 28 @ 1:35 AM |
what do you think??
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jellybean635
Posts: 191
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Hi Doc,
It sounds as you are getting some really good advice, but like others have said, talk out the bad stuff and work toward a positive future.
If you really realize that you love each other then it is a good thing, if for some reason you two do not click then you will know that you made the best effort possible. The fact that you talk good of her says alot in itself, It sounds as if you both have not lost the feelings you had for each other.
Good Luck on whatever you decide to do and if you two get together May God Bless your Union.
Remember with the Lord in your life, you can work through anything that is out there causing the roadblock.
Hugs there Doc
Darlene
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| Oct 16 @ 2:09 PM |
what do you think?? |
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dachsiemom35
Posts: 33
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wish u the best .
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