| Oct 16 @ 5:43 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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I'm curious here, how does one go about making a long distance relationship work? How hard is it to maintain? Is it really worth it? How often do you see each other face to face? I get emails from men 400 plus miles away, my reply is: Thank you for the interest but I'm looking for someone in my area. Granted, some of them seem like nice guys and could possibly be a match BUT who wants to spend all that time on the road and money to get there? and if jobs are involved, you have to make the time? And looking at it from their side, why would they want to look that far out knowing the distance involved?
Like I said, more curious than anything...
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| Oct 19 @ 5:06 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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My advice to you is if you're even thinking about dating someone long distance, I wouldn't I have done it and most of the time all guys want from that is phone sex or just a phone relationship talk/email something other than seeing you in person from past experience I know this. I was with a guy for 3 years it was an on and off relationship do to the fact that it was a long distance relationship and it was also very complicated. If you are contemplating on it then I wish you luck, like I said some guys are only out for the phone thing or something other than a real relationship with you and most guys won't take the time out from their Jobs to even come and see you even if it's just once for awhile. I am not trying to bring you down I'm just trying to give you a little advice. I'm not saying that ALL guys are like that but there's a 90% chance that they could be. I've been there and I've done that and I don't plan to go back. I hope you take my advice because this is the first time I ever have tried to give any because I'm usually not that good at it lol.
Take Care, and think about what I said.
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| Oct 19 @ 5:29 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Sweet, thanks for the advice, you did great! lol
Like you, been there done that, just wondered how *others* managed to maintain a long distance relationship and make it work. Maybe theres not too many of them out there.
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| Oct 19 @ 8:35 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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sawduster
Posts: 133
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lindy, any relationship is going to have difficulties. the longer the distance the more they can be amplified. we only live 125 miles apart, but being able to have a personal relationship with someone that far away can be hard. the driving, fuel costs, misunderstandings of why one couldn't make it, and the list goes on. some would be worth the effort, and it might work, but you have to decide how far you are willing to go for it. as with all life, no one answer fits eery situation.
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| Oct 20 @ 6:58 AM |
Long Distance Relationships
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doc65270
Posts: 831
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been there done that and basicly it sucks the big one. it seems like that all distance relationships are out for something other than a relationship. i traveled 600 miles on the weekends just to get to her and i would have like a day and half to be with her then back home and get ready for work. then i moved in with her boy oh boy what a mistake. she was like a door knob everyone was getting a turn.  and most of the time i had to wait for my turn. i know every case is different i am in a long distance relationship now but we are getting to gether soon. you gotta do what ever floats your boat, trips your trigger
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| Oct 20 @ 10:46 AM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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I have to agree with you I don't think are many out there anymore. I think all the good ones are taken! lol
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| Oct 20 @ 11:22 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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LadyEdenMO
Posts: 51
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Luv the new pic GF.
Both my exe's were LDR's.
Perhaps if we'd been closer, taken more time, less press bout it - they would have been ex's before they became ex-husbands..........
It works for some - mostly not.........
Buy heck, If you can't find what you're looking for close....... whadyagonnado?
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| Oct 21 @ 7:47 AM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Thanks LadyE (Ryans or Chopstix?? lol)
Sounds like Doc might be off the market soon, if thats the case, good luck.
Kind of brings me to another question..... if one is in a relationship and tying the knot is considered, how soon is rushing it and how long is stalling it? I've seen it work and not work either way, so whats everyones view on it?
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| Oct 21 @ 6:50 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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I think it depends on what you're talking about hon. It depends on what you're rushing and what you're stalling on.
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| Oct 21 @ 8:41 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Sweet, I'm talking about slippin that ring on and that piece of paper saying your bonded. lol
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| Oct 22 @ 3:19 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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Lindy, I got you now! lol I was a little confused at first but I think that if the person you're with really loves or likes you then he can wait atleast a year before he proposes to you if he waits any longer that may mean that he's unsure that he wants to be with you or it could mean that he's just not ready but that decision would have to be completely up to him.
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| Oct 22 @ 3:28 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Sweet, for as young as you are, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, feet firmly planted so to speak... its nice to see a young person that seems to have it all together.
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| Oct 23 @ 4:15 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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Lindy, thank you for the compliment. I'm 20 years and yes still quite young but you could say I've been around the block a few times so to speak and it may seem like I have it all together but I'm not perfect by no means but I do try my best. Right now I'm still just living with my parents toughing it and trying to get my GED right now. But I guess my bad past and everything has made me a stronger person and has made me come up with a lot of wiser decisions.
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| Oct 24 @ 1:03 AM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Sweet, I have a daughter your age that lives w/me so nothing wrong w/letting parents help out when they can. You sound like your on the right track so be proud of that, no ones perfect, even me at my age.. lol We all learn as we go.
Good luck w/the GED thing, I quit 3 months before graduating and went back 20 yrs later to get mine. Think my dad was more proud of it than I was at the time.
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| Oct 24 @ 12:30 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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Lindy, Thank you so much for the encouragement although I do get a lot of that here at home but it helps to hear it from someone other than my parents as well. I think it's great that you went back and got your GED at least now you have some type of Diploma. You should be proud of yourself always no matter what at least you succeeded in something whether it's big or small. That's what my mom always tells me and I always try to take her advice.
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| Oct 24 @ 10:54 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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doc65270
Posts: 831
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what is too quick? its different for everyone. mainly it depends on how the two are growing as one. are they both on the same page. things like that there is a lot depending on if its too quick or not. i knew my ex for 10 months before we got married. we had a good marrage to a degree but i just spent the last 39 months of my life in a war zone and my head was not set for anything. after a period of time i fell to pecieces and i thought it was everyone elses fault. sence then i have gotten my head streight and got some help and i am hoping that next spring she will be ready to come and start a life a new with me. we have been talking for 8 months now so i feel that after a visit at thanksgiving time things will be ready by spring time. i don't think thats too fast
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| Oct 28 @ 10:48 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Sweet, sounds like your moms one smart lady.
Doc, agreed, its different for everyone but for example, how well can you know someone that you've just met and then move in w/them the following month? or something simuliar to that.
Also I wish you well in w/your old/new relationship, glad it all seems to be working out for you.
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| Oct 29 @ 12:46 AM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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laceywiggles2
Posts: 514
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Ok, my turn! Long distance relationships . . . . . I tried that once, and never again. It's costly, it's heart ripping to see one leave and know they can't come back for a length of time because of the cost, them having a job, etc. To me it allows too much of a, so to speak, boredom in one's life. Knowing you have somebody but can't see them, touch them, feel them, etc., causes way too many to begin to tell lies and cheat. I don't think you can honestly know that person well enough, even after more than a year to think about marriage or even living together.
Obviously it wasn't my cup of tea! He bailed, and, I found out he'd been following another lady around, she was in a closer state than I.
Life is tough enough with a local, but less severe distance. I think distance, after awhile, just leads to one giving in to other desires. Least, that was what I dealt with, and, have seen from others.
I know a lady, good lady that met a guy years ago in Florida. She moved there and got married. She didn't really know him and it was a mistake.
I think very few have made long distance relationships work. I do take my hat off to them. It takes lots and lots of work, trust and love.
Just my thought for whatever it is worth.
And, what is too quick? There is just no way I would marry any man only knowing him for 1 year. Even 1 year . .. . you really don't know them. I found this out the hard way with my one and only marriage. Got married, day we returned from honeymoon I saw a totally different man . . .a controlling one. I'd not seen that side before . . . .
Me, I'd prefer to know a guy about 1 1/2 years, move in together and see how that works before ever marrying them. Course, not sure I'll ever get married again. First time may have been enough for me. LOL
OK, I'll climb down off my soap box now and move on. 
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| Oct 30 @ 3:03 PM |
Long Distance Relationships
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sweetlilchic19
Posts: 9
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I couldn't agree with Lacey more! I'm so hurt right now it's not even funny. To be honest I've signed up to this sight to give advice because it's something that I like to do because I've been in a relationship for the last month. This guy and I started dating on the 28th of September and he lives in Belleville Illinois which is 45 minutes away from where I live. I've just had my heart ripped out of my chest or atleast that's what it feels like and I vow from now on to no longer date anyone outside of Florissant Missouri. Long distance relationships obviously don't work. I could use a little comfort and advice myself right now...I'm really hurting.
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| Oct 30 @ 4:42 PM |
Long Distance Relationships |
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simplylindylu
Posts: 280
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Awww sweet.... sorry to hear that. I know its probably not what u want to hear right now but theres a better one out there thats meant for you. Don't limit your choices, 45 minutes away wasn't all that unreasonable, I don't think. Might not have been the distance in this case, might have been the guy. Sometimes we have this ideal of what we want, look outside the box, might be surprised at what you find. I've always heard, *opposites attract*, dont have a thing to lose but a little time?
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