| Dec 30, 2006 @ 4:48 PM |
Fustration
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shyguy86491
Posts: 3
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Anybody else here been single for a long time, i know i have, and you try going on the se online dating sites just looking for someone to get coffee with, and you get nothing, i know they say in life you cannot have the sweet without the sour, well ive had a sour taste in my life for about 2yrs. Anyboyd else going threw the same shit?
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| Dec 31, 2006 @ 2:40 AM |
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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Gettin' on about five years for me...hang in there; supposedly it gets better...
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| Jan 3, 2007 @ 1:49 AM |
Fustration
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alcortez0326
Posts: 1
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yep i hear you most of these girls on dating sites have high demands...
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| Jan 5, 2007 @ 3:37 PM |
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LovesMist
Posts: 66
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What do you consider to be "high demands"?
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| Jan 7, 2007 @ 12:40 AM |
Fustration
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Gem526
Posts: 64
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yep i hear you most of these girls on dating sites have high demands... alcortez, that is a low blow stereotype for the femmes on this or any other dating site... So femmes are demanding and guys are not....... hmmmm so why do you have a *HIGH* preference for body type, ethnicity, and height? :)... Isn't that a bit demanding on your part? I believe the proper term in this case would be *preference* and not demanding.... :)
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 8:36 PM |
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PhotoGuyNJ
Posts: 7
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Call me a chauvinist, but I'm going to agree with the guys on this one. I've been on the site on and off for about two years and I've noticed a few trends. Most obviously, the majority of women who (in a group setting) would be thought of as potentially compatible with me are off limits here. Why? Because the vast majority of women in their twenties here are ONLY looking for older guys. I've browsed the profiles of 21, 24, 27 year old women here who hope to find more in common with a man 15 years their senior than with me, a 23 year old. Good luck! I've heard the old wisdom that girls mature earlier and so are more attracted to men slightly older than themselves, but come on! Aside from the obvious question of what kind of man can only pick up women 15 years his junior, anyone sticking to such absolute requirements when choosing a potential love forgets how important spontaneity is for building that sense of mystery and excitement that makes a relationship interesting.
That "perfect match" is so hard to find for a very good reason... he doesn't exist! Neither do popular millionaire supermodels that need to find dates on Matchdoctor. The mindset that there must be someone out there who's "perfect for me" only prevents people from finding someone they might love. Words on a screen can never reflect how a person truly comes off in real life. For example, in my profile I try to put some elements of culture and attitude that I find respectable. I don't care if my girlfriend doesn't like everything that I like. It would be nice to have a couple things in common, but that doesn't mean I'm going to reject someone for having never seen Almost Famous.
Same goes for someone's lifestyle. People who are good with details are usually not so creative and vice versa. But you can be sure that a file clerk needs some spontaneity in his life and an artist needs help with directions sometimes. Often times the differences we're afraid of are complementary when we don't think of them as obstacles. And it's the intangible things that make being with someone fun in the first place; the body language, the laughter, the flick of a wrist or the quiet glances. These things have nothing to do with age, height, fitness or income.
Am I saying we shouldn't have standards and just date the first person that comes along? No way; preference & prejudice will be there subconsciously whether we acknowledge them or not. But so many people here are unforgiving and even unsympathetic. It's incredibly frustrating to send out dozens and dozens of unique, hand-typed, respectful, friendly emails as I used to do and receive one, maybe two replies and not so much as a "thanks but no thanks" from the rest. And for what reason? Apathy? Laziness? Disgust? We can hide behind the anonymous emails and pretend that clicking delete has no affect at the other end - and I know it's tempting to do that - but the person who typed that email is just as hopeful as you are to find someone who can make life a little more interesting.
I don't know what else to say, so I'll stop typing now.
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| Jan 11, 2007 @ 8:40 PM |
Fustration
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PhotoGuyNJ
Posts: 7
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I concede one point. Given that I don't look at a lot of men's profiles I'll take the ladies' word that guys here are just as unreachable. Though I honestly did email a guy once to see if he's had any luck in finding a date and he was damned helpful about it. That goes for a couple of older women from other states who exchanged emails with me, too. It seems the only people I get replies from are those who aren't expecting a young guy in NJ to ask them out. Go figure! 
[Edited on 1/11/2007 10:04 PM]
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| Jan 18, 2007 @ 10:30 PM |
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notdeadyet1947
Posts: 1
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By jove, I think you nailed it! Very very good description of how it goes with online dating. I have all but given up. I'm too old for most, and not young enough to suit the others, I'd say. No one who has ever emailed me or winked on this site has ever followed through. Nuf' said! Good luck PhotoGuy. Someone's missing out!
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 7:05 PM |
Fustration
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joefun
Posts: 2
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Your on the money photoguy
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| Mar 16, 2007 @ 4:07 AM |
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mystery00
Posts: 1
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yep...all my friends had bf's and i NEVER got asked out..or hit on rarely and i'm hot, too!?!...i know how it is trust me...you're chilin with ur friends and all they talk about is their girlfriends, or boyfriends and ur like 'dude shut the f*ck up"
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| May 7, 2007 @ 12:54 PM |
Fustration
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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Actually, I've only been a member for about a week and a half and I've gotten a lot of responses and many times women have initiated contact. Within the past few days, a real cutie has sent me her phone number and wants to call me. Today she asked me when she can get me, as she "tried to call" yesterday. I gave her a choice either "tonight after 10 pm or tomorrow after 6 pm". She wrote back, "how about both ?" Now, THAT'S my type of girl !
Try to keep in mind the Shakespearian line "the fault lies not within the stars, but within ourselves". In a sincere effort to reach out to you above and help you, what can be changed to get you better results ? I don't know, because I really don't know you people, but my initial reaction (and perhaps other's initial reaction) is;
mystery - you have a VERY cute face, but 160# ! That, and your second photo indicates that you really need to cut down on the carbs and exercise. Plus, you state you are seeking a straight (or bi-curious) female to expirement with bi-sexuality AND only within a 3 year age range. You are setting yourself up for no responses. I mean, what are the odds of finding someone like that. If you want a date, open up the age range to about a 10-15 year span and be open to both men and women instead of female only. And the women you should be seeking are gay or bisexual. If you want to experience flying a plane, you would not seek out someone who has never flown a plane, would you ? You'd be more likely to fly that plane with someone who already had a license, right ? Why not seek a couple, so you can experiment and run back to hetero if bi turns out to be not as good in reality as the fantasy.
Shyguy - Do ya think that maybe more than one photo, especially one without a bottle attached to your face ! Even though its probably cola, it likely makes women think that you either have a drinking problem, or your face is too ugly to show it. Prove them wrong with a second photo that clearly shows your face.
Steve - I'm sure most women think you are a great guy. Perhaps losing those "few extra ponds", especially in the middle might get them over the edge.
Photguy - I'm sure most women who would give you the time would probably discover that you are a great guy. However, how about taking a picture WITHOUT the glasses and how about getting a decent haircut. I mean, some women are really attracted to men with long flowing hair, and most women like a clean cut guy, but your hair (at least in that one picture you have posted) is lost somewhere in the blase middle.
Alco - Do you really have earrings and in BOTH ears ????? That might work for you, if you were either wearing a skirt and heels in The Village (NYC) or you wore them with an eye patch in a play (Pirates of....). The other prejuiduce that might be working against you, is that most women probably wouldn't want to get involved, guessing, that your family might already have you 'arranged married' to a woman from home.
I know that most of you will protest and argue my statements, but I am sincerely trying to help you and if I do help at least one of you, it will be worth the crap I'm probably about to get. Nonetheless, hang in there !!!
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| May 7, 2007 @ 1:06 PM |
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breezylight
Posts: 94
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not sure why Jim wants to change all of you. are we not supposed to be liked by who we are and not what we look like? i mean yes there has to be some sort of physical attraction to the other person, but heck i f i have to lose weight, cut my hair, lose my glasses etc etc. then you are saying you want to change my appearance. i would hate to think if i were to go out with someone and gained weight, started wearing glasses, etc. that they wouldnt be attracted to me anymore. not interested in people who just like for what i look like....just saying.
i have had dates and relationships from here shyguy, and have made friends and met them for fun as well (coffee, parks, etc). nothing real lasting, as sometimes people dont show their true selves in the first couple of months but hey...still out there looking!
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| May 10, 2007 @ 9:49 PM |
Fustration
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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So you can be sure, 'Breezy', it is because I want to help these people.
Although I currently work as a real estate agent, I have help several positions in motivation, coaching, and teaching. It is my intrinsic nature to help people, who want success.
I am not asking anyone to change who they are inside. Indeed, I am not sure
you or I know any of these people inside. I just suggested some slight changes that would help them become more successful. It seems they were looking for hints to help. While most people would not argue, that what's inside a person is much more important that what is outside, why settle for one or the other ? Why not form a relationship with someone with good insides and outsides ?? Isn't that ideal ? All 4 possibilities do exist. If you don't believe that, you definitely need to check out the competition more closely. Why not choose someone with good attributes both on the inside AND outside. Its much easier to see whether the outsides are good. One can tell that rapidly. Deciding about the insides take MUCH longer. Thus, physical attraction is often the first criteria, rather than the most important. Physical attraction is often the foot in the door to get to know the other person's insides. I was trying to help these people get more views and considerations.
For instance, I am not saying to take down the photo with glasses. However, why not add a second photo without glasses to help people see the man behind the glasses.
Naturally, everyone is resistent to change. Its a lot easier to blame someone else, society, etc.... However, while change is inevitable, growth is possible and the wisest choice. Regardless of what you choose to do, or not do, I wish all of you the best of luck ! Sincerely, Jim
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| May 11, 2007 @ 9:35 AM |
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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Steve - I'm sure most women think you are a great guy. Perhaps losing those "few extra ponds", especially in the middle might get them over the edge.
Jim, my problem hasn't been with meeting anyone-it's been with meeting someone I want to get serious with...and those extra pounds aren't going anywhere until my football career is over; skinny offensive linemen aren't real effective...
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| May 11, 2007 @ 10:11 AM |
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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You could always switch to tight end, or fullback. That way, you could score more on the field of play as well. 
Nonetheless, I do understand your priorities and cheer you on ! 
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| May 11, 2007 @ 2:24 PM |
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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You could always switch to tight end, or fullback.
My time in the forty is so slooooow that the coach puts away the stopwatch and gets out a calendar. 
Besides-having played O-line my entire football life, I've grown to love it down in the trenches (go Doughboys!)-don't know that I could be a "Pretty Boy." Not to mention, at my age-O-line is the only position left that I can survive at with any longevity...40 year old bodies don't recover from getting hit all that fast; and where I play, I don't so much "get" hit as "give" hits!
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| May 11, 2007 @ 5:36 PM |
Fustration
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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A streamlined Steve might do a better time in the 40.
Nonetheless, I understand your desire to remain where you are.
I'm guessing you are a guard on offense ?
However, I guess tackle or center aren't out of the question.
What league are you in ?
How many games per year ?
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| May 11, 2007 @ 11:14 PM |
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breezylight
Posts: 94
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the frustration. ... or not at this point ..is the guy who lies and who portrays who he is not...and strings you along....but its ok cause i am smart enough to know and ditch him...WTW. lol
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| May 12, 2007 @ 3:17 AM |
Fustration
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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I'm guessing you are a guard on offense ?
However, I guess tackle or center aren't out of the question.
What league are you in ?
How many games per year ?
Yep, Guard-the Tackle position has gotten so "mobile" that I can barely hold my own-although I can play that spot if the team is really desperate...I do know how to play center, although I've never actually played it in a game-several times in practice, though.
I play in the Ironman Football League; here's the website: http://www.ironmanfootballleague.com/
the team I'm on this year is the West Allis Predators. The league season is 9 games, although some teams will schedule a 10th game with an opponent from another league; usually toward the end of the season, as the IFL plays a summer schedule. There is a three-round playoff format, culminating in the Iron Bowl.
And honestly Jim, the only way I could be streamlined enough to be that fast might involve a guillotine...
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| May 12, 2007 @ 7:09 AM |
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JimNastics
Posts: 514
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Steve, you crack me up !
Surely, there must be a female football fan out there, who is itching to huddle with this guy. C'mon ladies, you know you like the tight pants !! Step up and give him a try !!! What have you got to lose ? Your virginity (yeah, right !). [note - Steve, make all checks payable to JimNastics]
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