| Nov 24, 2006 @ 12:50 PM |
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Solitaryguitar
Posts: 41
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You ever just feel like...
Completely alone?
I keep experiencing overwhelming feelings of being empty and isolated, cut-off and alienated from any sort of meaningful relationship.
I want to feel loved.
People say they love me but I feel nothing.
People might also say "How can you know what love feels like Eric if you constantly dissassociate yourself from it?"
Well I know what it feels like to love something. I have lots of love to give but it just leaves me feeling bitter that I can't experience it in return.
I'll walk with groups of friends but I'll never feel like part of the group.
I have chronic low-self esteem. Always Angry and Defensive, overly critical and analytical.
I'm inadequate and unskilled in terms of socialability. I've been convinced that something is wrong with me but no one is honest enough to tell me what it is, so that I might try and remedy myself.
I see no point in trying to change myself anymore. I'm just broken equipment.
Just empty.
Sometimes I try to hide away from this awful feeling by sleeping. I sleep as much as I can whenever I can so I can end that terrible yearning for companionship.
I try to take risks. I try to speak to people I don't know, give smiles to those who I'm interested in knowing. I try to make efforts to relate to people but it just keeps taking me back to this state of despair.
I just see no point in continuing to keep up this masquerade.
So, what I propose is this:
Is there anyone out there feels the same way? Anyone willing to hang out without any romantic/lustful/parasitic agendas? Just to try and make friends and maybe help stop these awful feelings?
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 12:08 AM |
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emperorguy
Posts: 393
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You are showing signs of severe clinical depression. Get help. Now. Call 9-11, and be treated at a psych ER. Not a joke.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 9:53 AM |
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zendivamom
Posts: 212
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Emp...man, you could be a little more sensitive...Yikes! While I agree that therapy is probably a great idea (or perhaps a group for depression to ease those feelings of being "alone" during this time)...I also belive that everyone feels the same way from time to time. Depression is THE HUMAN condition. I commend you for being so honest about the way you're feeling. Therapy is friggen expensive...but there are free groups out there for one to attend.
All that aside...it's difficult to be an artist and NOT feel life a bit harder than say, the average Jane or Joe. Reaching out to others is probably the best medicine for what ails you, SolitaryGuitar man...you're on the right track.
I can hear the sarcastic "thanks, Mom" sighs already!
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 11:07 AM |
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Solitaryguitar
Posts: 41
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Nah, Emperor gave me good advice. I called the Samaritans line and they recommended me a group therapy session nearby where I live. Maybe that'll help.
I dunno that what I'm feeling should be commended or reprimanded or anything. But Its nice to think that this state of emotion isn't uncommon. If other people have experienced this and have found companionship, maybe its not so hopeless.
meh, thank you for reading and responding.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 2:48 PM |
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emperorguy
Posts: 393
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Have been a medical professional for close to 30 years, have dealt with numerous people in crises. Sugar coating the diagnoses doesn't make it more palatable-- most people need plain talking to get help. Simple fact of life.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 2:54 PM |
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emperorguy
Posts: 393
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I dunno that what I'm feeling should be commended or reprimanded or anything. But Its nice to think that this state of emotion isn't uncommon. If other people have experienced this and have found companionship, maybe its not so hopeless.
Far from being alone, you're close to a majority-- however the intensity that you are feeling it suggests that there well may be a medical condition either underlying or excacerbating the depression. When have you last had a comprehensive physical?
Also, several types of depression are realted to serotonin levels (either too much or too little, much like diabetes) so you should have a blood level drawn-- if serotonin is out of whack, there are numerous medications that help, and should also be considered with therapy (if there is a medical condition underlying, then therapy alone won't do much-- and if on the meds, therapy helps so, look into both. There are certain foods that strongly affect some people's serotonin levels, so this is also something to have the doc check for.) Definitely stay away from alcohol --it's a CNS depressant, and will just make it worse.
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| Nov 25, 2006 @ 3:30 PM |
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eastham
Posts: 7,913
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Excellent advice, emperor. Also, if you are on any medication, have your clinician make sure that drug interaction or a side effect is the cause.
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 8:45 AM |
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hammertime
Posts: 14,071
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Have you thought about taking up a sport? Join a gym. Play Pool? martial arts? Wiffle ball? anything with the guys? Hiking? What about getting a mountain bike? Jogging/Running?
Avoid skydiving, you might be too depressed to open your parachute.
Avoid bowling. Bowling is a not a sport, its a past time that burns no calories and lets you get drunk.
Don't play Bingo.
Keep the TV turned off.
Sports occupy your mind, challenges yourself and releases endophines. Its important to exercise. Screw therapy. All that does is make you rehash bullshit to make you more depressed so you pay for more treatments and drugs.
If you work or the post office, please quit.
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| Dec 20, 2006 @ 9:57 AM |
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0oGirlie_Girlo0
Posts: 64
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My first piece of advice would be to step away from the computer.
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