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Guitars are Better then women


Jan 22, 2007 @ 5:47 PM Guitars are Better then women    
Solitaryguitar


Posts: 41
1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
22. Guitars don't get pregnant.
23. You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
24. Guitars don't have parents.
25. Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
26. You can share your Guitar with your friends.
27. Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
28. Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
29. Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
30. Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
31. You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
32. If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
33. Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
34. Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
35. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
36. If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
37. You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
38. You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
39. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
40. Guitars don't get headaches.
41. Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
42. Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
43. Guitars don't care if you're late.
44. You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
45. If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
46. You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
47. The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
48. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.
49. Girls dump you. A guitar will always be there when you get home.
51. You'll never turn on a girl as fast as you can turn on an amp.
52. If you play your guitar crap, it tells you its crap. It doesn't lie and pretend you did it right when you didn't!
53. Two girls at once is hard to come by. Double kneck guitars are not.
54. Nobody cares when you dump your old, out of date guitar for a new, younger model. In fact it's encouraged.
55. With a guitar, you can copy moves from other songs. With a girl, try telling her you're copying some moves from an ex and she'll throw you out.
56. Your guitar will never find out if you've been playing another guitar behind its back.
57. You don't have to get guitars drunk before using them.
58. You can stare at a guitar all you like.

Love
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Jan 22, 2007 @ 6:11 PM Guitars are Better then women    
eastham


Posts: 7,907
Funny! Would you like a cup of coffee to go?
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Jan 23, 2007 @ 1:56 PM Guitars are Better then women    
zendivamom


Posts: 212
Ya...I love my guitar too.
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Jan 29, 2007 @ 7:55 PM Guitars are Better then women    
NYSaint


Posts: 1
I miss my Les Paul guitar... that was true love...
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