Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Already a member? Click here to sign in!

My Threads

Main Sex Talk
Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

page: << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 >> of 2 pages < previous page | next page >

Aug 21, 2007 @ 3:37 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

DiamondRain

Posts: 4,903 I'll start it off with one that is a little bit raw to test how far the Mods will let things go. If it's gone in ten seconds I'll know what happened.

If this one passes muster, and we have a lot of freaks out there who want to hear the really raunchy stuff I'll take it to the next step.

I've heard most of 'em so if you can dazzle me with something I have never heard, you get extra points.

A moderate test post to see where we can go (or not go) from here....

There once was a man from Rangoon,
Who was born nine months too soon.
He didn't have the luck,
To be born by a f***.
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

Aug 21, 2007 @ 7:45 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Gallows_Humor

Posts: 8,063 "There once were some rhymes they called limericks
Repeated by smart men and dimwits
They're easy to make
A real piece of cake
Until you get to the last line."

Aug 21, 2007 @ 9:32 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Gallows_Humor

Posts: 8,063
There was a sweet girl of Decatur
Who went to sea on a freighter.
She was screwed by the master
-An utter disaster-
But the crew all made up for it later.

guess which famous author penned this in 1975 ...

...answer is here ...

Aug 21, 2007 @ 10:30 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Gallows_Humor

Posts: 8,063 there once was a MILF on matchdoctor..

who posted without consulting the proctor

she only wanted to state..

the term was without hate..

but he just wanted to defrock her..

Aug 22, 2007 @ 6:44 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

dazee

Posts: 2,840 There once was a man in a truck
all he wanted to do was f*ck
he stopped at every last street
to find someone to beat his meat
but the poor fella never had any luck.

(grr..such an amateur..lol)

Aug 23, 2007 @ 11:55 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Gallows_Humor

Posts: 8,063 there were a few fine ladies here
who were told they were held so dear
but they did not recognize as baloney
.. that they were the one and only
remember that things are not as they appear

Aug 23, 2007 @ 12:32 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

lj450

Posts: 8,407 Oh goody, I love limericks!!!!

There once was a man from Glenarridge
the fruit of a scuffulous marriage
he buggered his mother
and sucked off his brother
and ate up his sisters miscarriage.

Aug 28, 2007 @ 9:51 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

lj450

Posts: 8,407 There was a young fellow named Howell
Who buggered himself with a trowel.
The triangular shape
Was conducive to rape,
And was easily cleaned with a towel.

Aug 28, 2007 @ 10:39 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Loreli

Posts: 20,313 There once was a girl from the Rapids
Who thought that all men were just bastids
Til she met with LJ
Had a roll in the hay
Now the poor sucker is flaccid

Aug 28, 2007 @ 11:15 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

lj450

Posts: 8,407

Dont worry, it wont stay that way long.

Aug 28, 2007 @ 11:16 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Loreli

Posts: 20,313
(I'm thinkin on another as we speak)

Aug 29, 2007 @ 5:55 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

dazee

Posts: 2,840 There once was a man from Doodle
who always played with his noodle
he tugged and pulled and pulled and tugged
cause his girl never wanted to be plugged
she always said maybe later
but he had to choke that ol gator
or he would explode into space
better yet...hmmm maybe her face.

(sorry for the content..i'm usually more lady-like..lol)

Aug 29, 2007 @ 11:26 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

bassman580

Posts: 15 There once was a man from Kentucky
who came for a little sucky-f***y
he went down with a smile
ate her out for a while
and the both of them left feeling duckie

Aug 29, 2007 @ 11:30 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

bassman580

Posts: 15 there once was a man from Peru
who wanted to dump all his goo
he pulled out his junk
and started to spunk
and got it all over his shoe

Aug 29, 2007 @ 11:42 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

bassman580

Posts: 15 There once was a man from the Cape
who pulled his bag hairs out with some tape
it hurt really bad
it made him real sad
and he shit all over his drape

Aug 29, 2007 @ 11:42 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

bassman580

Posts: 15 why did u get me started. LOL

Aug 29, 2007 @ 3:15 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

pamdemonium

Posts: 14,546 Bassman, as I groan lmao, I have to tell ya... man you're warped!

Aug 29, 2007 @ 5:32 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Loreli

Posts: 20,313 There once was a man from the falls
Who worried about his blue balls
He had to get laid
And so he paid
With several trips to the malls

Aug 29, 2007 @ 8:09 PM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

Always_Striving

Posts: 7,596 A Poem from Andrew "Dice" Clay

Hickory Dickory Dock
Some ho was slobbing my c**k
The clock stuck two
I released my goo
and dumped her ass at the end of the block.

Okay, okay .....hold the applause

That's Dice humor for ya!

Sep 2, 2007 @ 7:55 AM Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

UMadeMeThisWay

Posts: 108 i once ran from school to home
#2 was calling the throne
as i let out a groan
it appeared I was not alone
cause mommy began to moan
i know my daddy's name is billy
but she screamed out "ride me Jerome like a Philly"
i was feeling very silly
then i got a text message from Willy
"your dad just passed me and so did your grandma Shirley"

page: << 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 >> of 2 pages < previous page | next page >

Main Sex Talk Dirty Limericks (Don't read if you hate sex ;-) )

| | | | | | | | |