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| Oct 26, 2009 @ 4:11 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man
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Fender
Posts: 9,961
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Dear Bitter Man,
Is there something else I can use condoms for besides balloon animals? Because the ones I have will expire before they are ever used?
Yours truly,
Fender.
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| Oct 29, 2009 @ 7:00 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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PentatonicPunk
Posts: 407
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Is there something else I can use condoms for besides balloon animals? Because the ones I have will expire before they are ever used?
I've found that If used as a tourniquet around the base of one's penis, the risk of pregnancy is greatly reduced where the offensive appendage will become gangrenous and simply fall off.
Condoms can also be used as a way to keep fruits and vegetables fresh, such as bananas and cucumbers. Give a condom-encased zucchini to the boss as a gift, or use your condoms as hair extensions and watch the envious looks you get.
Fun things to do with condoms include filling them with mayonnaise and taking them to a sperm bank for deposit or giving them out to Catholic Church goers after mass. I hope this helps 
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| Oct 29, 2009 @ 7:56 PM |
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warrior674
Posts: 6,753
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Dear Bitter Man,
How do I get bloodstains out of a pillow?
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| Nov 19, 2009 @ 9:24 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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Dear Bitter Man
Ever since Chasity Bono has become a man, I find myself highly attracted to her, does this mean I am a lesbian now? I am spending more time watching the Ellen De Genres show and listening to Melissa Ethridge records....is the end near for me???
Years of Therapy gone to Pot
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| Dec 15, 2009 @ 11:43 PM |
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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now fender killed the thread............... 
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| Dec 16, 2009 @ 12:56 AM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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kywonder
Posts: 2,087
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Dear Bitter Man
You really need to help Fender. I don't know that condoms were meant to be used for balloons.
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| Dec 23, 2009 @ 1:00 AM |
Ask a Bitter Man
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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unless I can find a condom as big as the Von Hindenburg......it is not much use to me as a contraceptive 
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| Dec 23, 2009 @ 6:13 AM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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notsoplain
Posts: 529
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Try the rhythm method, I just love music!
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| Dec 23, 2009 @ 8:15 AM |
Ask a Bitter Man
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catman602
Posts: 774
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I gave up . I THAUGHT things would be differant . this woman said she was addicted to sex . after 5 e-mails . she said " I don't think your what I am looking for " . OW that one hurt . even if I did not meet her . it still hurt . ladies , P l E A S E , don't tell us what we want to hear and then leave . some of us guys ARE truly looking for someone .
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| Dec 27, 2009 @ 12:37 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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of course she was addicted to sex...........its just that you were not her fix 
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| Jan 5 @ 6:08 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man
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PentatonicPunk
Posts: 407
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I'm afraid that my bitterness has escalated to the point of no return...or to put a finer point on it...to "psychotic ax murderer" in this case.
I didn't do it but dayum this is funny. (Thanks Pookie  )
It's all about perspective
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| Jan 5 @ 7:53 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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Fender
Posts: 9,961
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Dear Bitter Man...
Why didn't you send me a Christmas gift this year? It really hurt my feelings. 
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| Jan 5 @ 9:34 PM |
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jaybird777
Posts: 1,289
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Look there, the bitter man don't went and made a bitter woman
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| Jan 6 @ 3:57 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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PentatonicPunk
Posts: 407
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Dear Bitter Man...
Why didn't you send me a Christmas gift this year? It really hurt my feelings.
I recently converted to Jehovah's witness just to keep those pamphlet carrying dweebs off my front step...and as you know, we don't celebrate Christmas. I'm sending you a gift now but it's by no means a Christmas gift..it's more of a downpayment for the good times we'll have when I come to visit you....or in other words, a lay-away for a lay-away.
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| Jan 11 @ 1:24 AM |
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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Dear Bitter Man,
It seems our dear fender has been slighted by Santa this yr. The fat ass unemployed most of the year, drunkard misplaced her present. As I have recently converted to Islam, I most graciously sent her the gift that will make her the bomb anywhere she goes......exploding crotchless panties
Mohammad "dont touch my goat" Jihad Smith
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| Jan 12 @ 2:18 PM |
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SagGirl
Posts: 243
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Dear Bitter Man,
How can I torture my ex more then just wearing tight low cut clothes when he sees me?  Or just make him bitter?
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| Jan 13 @ 1:44 PM |
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PollyPureheart
Posts: 76
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Dear Bitter Man,
awww, why you so bitta' hun?
I got me some soft pillows and hot chocolate. Come sit next to me and let me braid your hair.
It'll be nice. 
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| Jan 13 @ 7:16 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man |
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PentatonicPunk
Posts: 407
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How can I torture my ex more then just wearing tight low cut clothes when he sees me?
I'd suggest water-boarding him while wearing tight low-cut clothes. Oh wait, that's "enhanced interrogation" er sumchit, not turture. Ok, you could do something really devious like perform oral sex on him for 17 straight hours...yanno, to show him what he's been missing. He'll hate that.
awww, why you so bitta' hun?
I got me some soft pillows and hot chocolate. Come sit next to me and let me braid your hair.
The last time I agreed to that, I had my nostril hair in cornrows.
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| Jan 13 @ 8:25 PM |
Ask a Bitter Man
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Fender
Posts: 9,961
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Dear Bitter Man,
You alway's make me laugh. That's not a question. It's more like a statement. I also want to say thank you again(for my super awesome kick ass present!) because you actually pay attention to what I want and that's important to me. How did you get to be so good at handling the womenfolk?
P.S.- Your still my fav dork.
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| Jan 13 @ 11:42 PM |
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Loinlee_Sole
Posts: 270
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Dear Bitter Man
I was watchin porn....er.....CNN.....and saw our dear fender on the news at the top of the hour. Seems she really liked the crotchless exploding panties she got for Xmas, the TSA......not so much 
Mohammad "i saw you look at my goat" Jihad Smith
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