| Nov 18, 2005 @ 8:27 AM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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MsHalfnHalf
Posts: 15
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 I would be nice to talk to someone who has young children still at home that knows what I'm talking about. Love the kids...but sometimes u just need to be you and not Mama!
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 1:12 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,366
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I can remember looking at my boys and saying," My name is ***". I am not your mom right now, she went crazy and she said she would be back after supper!!!!!
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| Dec 2, 2005 @ 3:07 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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gdktygnbad
Posts: 2
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Hi there and I remember just how you feel  I don't know what words of advice to give except to hang in there...it does get better! I can say that cause I made it all the way through that my son just turned 19  .
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| Dec 13, 2005 @ 7:03 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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Angel_N_Motion
Posts: 37
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I have two young children of my own. Both are girls, ages 9 and 7. Feel free to contact me if need be. I'm always willing to listen.
Keep your head up and believe in yourself. It can only get better.
~Smiles~
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 1:51 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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MsHalfnHalf
Posts: 15
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Wow! Thanks so much for the support. I was beginning to give up on my little thread.  I guess being a single Mom just really overwhelms me sometimes. Well ok alot!  It's nice to know that i'm not the only one who sometimes feels like running out the door and screaming all the way down the street. lol!
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 7:52 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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Angel_N_Motion
Posts: 37
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I've often thought about changing my name... but then my oldest just says, "You'll still have to tell me what your name is." I guess there's no escaping the little rugrats.. Gotta love 'em tho.
By the way, You're welcome
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| Mar 1, 2006 @ 10:31 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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crissa575
Posts: 23
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my 5 yr old drives me to that brink then says mommy i love u and i dont wanna run anymore lol
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 2:13 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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goodgirlgonebad223
Posts: 3
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i also think it would be nice to have someone to talk to my sons almost 2 and he is my first sometimes things just get so confusing and frustrating and i just wanna brake down and cry.
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| Mar 13, 2006 @ 11:24 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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Ladywise45
Posts: 4
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Hi. I have been a single mom for just over 5 years now; however, even before my ex and I split up, I was still basically a single mom. I have 3 sons (12, 16 & 18). My ex was never meant to be a dad, so I did all that I could to make up for the lack of attention he gave them. I did EVERYTHING with my sons, and I talked to them a lot.
I have a very good relationship with my sons. I tell them I love them as often as possible, and I try to make time for each of them separately if their schedules allow. We might seem like the ideal single parent family, but there have been times when I would lay in bed at night and cry. I would think "I am a horrible mom because all I want to do is run away!" LOL! Now I can laugh at it, but at the time I thought I was horrible to have those thoughts. There was never any time for me, all they did was fight, and there was not enough Calgon in the world to soak the stress out at the end of many days. But the others are right... It does get better. Sometimes it's impossible to believe that, but just when you get to your breaking point they say or do something to melt your heart and renew your confidence as a mom. There are no manuals and there are no "perfect" parents. We are all just basically winging it. You will make mistakes along the way as we all do, but that's ok.
Just do your best to take a few minutes and sit by yourself with a cup of coffee or a glass of milk or whatever, and think of something happy. Think of something your child has done that you know was a reflection of what you have taught them. Whether it was for them to draw a picture, share a toy with another child, say thank you to someone when they were given something. All of these things are because you taught them that or drew that out of them. You are a GOOD mom! 
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| Mar 15, 2006 @ 8:26 AM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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startingagain2
Posts: 8
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Hi Ladywsie,
Thanks for the encouragement and all of the positive statements. I feel the need to run away on a regular basis but know that I can't because I am all they have. Yeah sure they could go to their dads, but he's just about as worthless as they come. My 8 yr old has ADHD and boy let me tell you how fun that is.  The meds work to a degree but most of the time I have a hard time distinguishing if his behavior is normal 8 yr old boy or the adhd working. To all of the single moms out there keep your head up and don't forget to be you and not just mommy all of the time. I know its hard but the kids do go to school and they do take naps lol. 
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| Mar 16, 2006 @ 12:00 AM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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Ladywise45
Posts: 4
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Hey Startingagain2, My middle son was diagnosed with ADD in kindergarten. I actually said I just thought my son was an obnoxious boy, but hey, that's normal right? As time went on I noticed that everyone around him, myself included, was just enabling him to use the ADD diagnosis to his advantage. Everything he did wrong or didn't do the way that was expected of him was blamed on the ADD.
They switched his meds after about a year and put him on Cylert. After several months on this medication, I noticed a very mean and hateful streak to his personality. I mean BAD! He beat my headboard up with a baseball bat because his brother pissed him off, he pulled a knife out at his brother one morning because his brother wore a pair of his boxers. Well, my son was obnoxious, but he was NOT a hateful child. I took him off of the medicine. His teachers were piss and the pediatrician said there was no truth to what I thought about the medicine. Lots of kids were taking Cylert.
Well, 6 months later I ran acrossed an article in Prevention magazine and it said that Cylert can cause bouts of psychosis in some kids.
I would rather put up with the obnoxious behavior than take a chance on my son hurting or killing someone without really knowing what he was doing.
Since he was taken off of the medicine, there was a remarkable improvement in his behavior and reactions. He was a pain in the butt and I had to stay on him constantly to get his schoolwork done and his chores. Sometimes I would look at him and all I wanted to do was punch him square in the nose! But I just kept pushing. Today he gets A's and B's in 11th grade. He has a bunch of friends and he really has turned into a pretty decent young man! He is still obnoxious at times, but he's gonna make it afterall! 
Don't give in to your son, follow your instincts and I promise it will get easier!
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| Mar 16, 2006 @ 1:58 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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salaeni2
Posts: 47
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I'm up there with y'all. My son has ADHD and was recently diagnosed with asperger's syndrome. The school started out being very understanding and cooperative but now they just want him removed. That in and of itself was a low blow. My ex and I are attending a special school on Monday where he will be transfered to. It can be so frustrating when you know what the problems are, you can cope with them, make the best of a situation but others either don't want to be bothered or would rather not take the time. Without parents like us who are willing to go the extra mile, our children would be lost in the system and then where would we be? I wish y'all the best of luck and best wishes with your children. Being single isn't easy, being single with children even harder, then throw in the other contingencies and life gets insane, but chin up, we can all make it through.
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| Mar 16, 2006 @ 6:03 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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Ladywise45
Posts: 4
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Salaeni2, You are so right! I wish you luck with the new school for your son! Schools have a way of making us feel like we parents did something wrong when we have a challenging student. And there is NOTHING I hate more than to hear a teacher or principal state something negative about a child from a single parent home! I have gone head to head with a few of these people!!
Just because we are single parents does NOT mean we are the scum of the earth and our children should be treated differently!! I for one believe that my children are no different than their friends who have two parents at home. As a matter of fact, I think my kids are better for it sometimes. Having two parents living in the home does NOT mean you are happier, smarter, more disciplined or better behaved.
I believe single parents have to fight more for their kids and prove themselves more because of the stigma put on us by those "Holier than Thou" people who are fortunate to have a partner living at home to share the burdens and blessings of parenthood.
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| Mar 16, 2006 @ 7:51 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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dowens
Posts: 869
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when my oldest daughter was in first grade i was told she needed to be put on ritalyn....that she was too hyper and couldn't be taught in the confines of a classroom....that she had a speech problem and would need surgery to fix it.......all of these "diagnosis'" weren't prevailent at home. Well, happy to say....that she currently is on a full ride for her PHD at the Univ. of Tennessee. It turned out that their "precious" curriculum wasn't challenging as the lessons she was getting at home, thus, her boredom in school led to their "expert" diagnosis!!!!!.........To this day, whenever i run into her first grade teacher and principal....they STILL defend themselves as being right!......  .....OMG!....talk about ego!
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| Mar 16, 2006 @ 11:14 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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Ladywise45
Posts: 4
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WOW! Way to go! I think it is terrific that your daughter has excelled! I think that we as parents need to challenge the school systems more. Too often "normal" childhood behavior is being diagnosed as ADD/ADHD and children are being punished because they are not robots!
Because of the demands put on teachers with the larger class sizes and the curriculum changes, they cannot handle it. Unless the students are all robotic and do not challenge the teacher, the teacher is fine. But let ONE student act differently or cause more "work" for the teacher, and immediately that child needs to be put on medication.
We need to keep the schools from railroading our children!
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| Mar 31, 2006 @ 9:13 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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salaeni2
Posts: 47
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Well, here's an update... My son started at his new school this last Wednesday. He's still having a few problems with his behavior but they are letting him progress at a higher rate than if he was in his regular classroom. With the form of autism that he has, I've been working more at home too so that he can learn what he feels he's ready for.
I'm so excited for him and scared for me haha. At the age of 6, he can answer a math question like if x+y=6, what does y equal if you use 4 as a variable for x. He's also started writing in cursive because it's "fun".
His teacher from the original school has been crying alot, she misses him and doesn't approve of the decision. But in all honesty, We both agree that this is a better room for him, if one school doesn't want him, send him to the one that actually does. It's still an adjustment but he's doing well.
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| Apr 11, 2006 @ 6:30 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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purplefuzz
Posts: 1
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You are not alone and I am 41 and I raised two boys - one is in college (thank God!) and the other is in middle school. Today my youngest one got a minor cucussion playing football, needless to say he makes life interesting if not down right horrifying at times. He is always getting hurt and giving me grey hairs faster than I like. Which I am glad that doesn't show yet!  But life goes on and it does have it moments that you want to scream down the road and say "Get me outta here" and go in the wind. Remember they do grow up and leave the home. So just hang in there.
K
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| Apr 19, 2006 @ 11:04 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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Bekeka
Posts: 52
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Why should WE be looked down upon because we are single parents? In my particular case, my childrens father discorved the miracle"" that is crack. I decided it better to cut ties than risk my children's well being. In my brother's case, his children mother died of cancer. So, please explain to me, just why single parents should be looked down on?
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| Apr 20, 2006 @ 12:11 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood
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coalcub
Posts: 2
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I'm a single mother and I don't feel looked down on!
Maybe you are feeling sorry for yourself. That' s cool that you left a crackhead, and I 've known a few, so you're probably better off. Don't feel bad that some guys just don't want to be around somebody else's kids. If I didn't have kids of my own, I surely wouldn't want the drama of somebody else's. I love kids,but I used to have a step daughter, and it's not as fun as you'd think. Don't be hating on people for that...there will be plenty that won't care...would you really want someone around your kids that didn't want to be around them????
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| Apr 20, 2006 @ 1:17 PM |
feelin' alone in single parenthood |
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stivvy
Posts: 108
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I think me and coalcub are supporting you bud. We agree you stood up for what she was complaining about, you go booooooooy! 
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