| May 18 @ 8:02 AM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine Sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
His wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart
|
|
  |
|
| May 18 @ 11:21 AM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
 
|
| |
|
| May 18 @ 1:29 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
1RockinDude
Posts: 6,841
|
Very Funny Curious1 
|
|
| |
|
| May 18 @ 4:39 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
Speaking of "Golf Courses"...
Rules For Bedroom Golf:
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep
the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should be a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict play if equipment
does not meet course standards.
6. The object of this game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.
Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to
admire the entire course, with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or
are playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course
owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play
at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find
the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are
advised to find alternative means of play when this is the
case.
11. The course owner is responsible for the manicuring and
pruning of any bush around the hole to allow for improved
viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.
12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's
permission before attempting to play the back nine.
13. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be
prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily,
at the course owner's request.
14. It is considered outstanding performance, time
permitting, to play the same hole several times in one
match.
15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is
the best player.
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:07 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Sweetheart83446
Posts: 6,476
|
Knock, knock...
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:10 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
come on in! 
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:10 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
OK.. I'll bite..... Who's there?
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:14 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Sweetheart83446
Posts: 6,476
|
Bwahhahahah @LMD>
OK.. I'll bite..... Who's there?
Amos.
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:16 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
Amos who?
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:18 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Sweetheart83446
Posts: 6,476
|
A mosquito bit me.
Knock,knock
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:21 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
I'm gonna sit here and be verrrrrrrrrrry quiet and watch
tread carefully Curious! 
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:22 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
One more time.... who's there??
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:25 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Sweetheart83446
Posts: 6,476
|
Andy.
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:25 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
Thanks LMD.. I think I'm going to need all the helpI can get!!
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:27 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:27 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
Andy what??
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:27 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Sweetheart83446
Posts: 6,476
|
Andy bit me again.
Bwahahahahahaha
Get it? Get it? Hahahahahaha
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:31 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
just nod your head in an up & down motion, Curious...
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:31 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it...
|
|
Curious1
Posts: 1,029
|
And then???
|
|
| |
|
| May 19 @ 10:35 PM |
Got a joke? Let's hear it... |
|
LittleMsDangerous
Posts: 11,147
|
say uh huh? 
|
| |
|
|