| Oct 8, 2007 @ 2:29 AM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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udlryy
Posts: 3
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I would like honest opinion from women. When men approach you what is it that you expect? I have noticed that usually a smile and some chit-chat is enough to start a conversation and sometimes even get a number. However most of the time after a conversation over the phone its very unlikely to get a short meeting for coffee and get to know the other person better.
1st. What is it that you ( women ) expect from a guy who approaches you?
2nd. What is it that you expect on the first call?
3rd. Do women just give out their phone so they dont seem cold (or for pity)?
What can a guy do to improve his chances?
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| Oct 8, 2007 @ 10:03 AM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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kerbear57
Posts: 89
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 Great topic! If I get any form of correspondance after the 1st initial wink-etc....I'd be happy! 
I usually get a wink/flirt & nothing more & then...if emails are exchanged, usually not much follows or it's like dragging out a conversation....sigh. 
I will give out my # eventually but only IF...some correspondance has exchanged on his part.
Men need to ask questions, get to know someone & ACT like they wanna meet eventually. Men should show their interests...actions speak louder than words but...email, chat & phone are great ways to start & show one is interested!
 ................waiting!
 LOL
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| Oct 8, 2007 @ 11:25 AM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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TallJustice
Posts: 3
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ok... ok.. i got the hint..
*begins typing an email * 
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| Oct 8, 2007 @ 12:20 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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kerbear57
Posts: 89
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Ok Michael....  
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| Oct 8, 2007 @ 3:10 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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udlryy
Posts: 3
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What i meant to state was in real life not online dating. Maybe at a restaurant, at a library, or just shopping for groceries. The problem is never meeting people as going anywhere in the city one is bound to find dating potential. So typically I get the phone number and I call, talk to the person but it just seems that after sleeping on it most women get cold feet about actually meeting. Usually after 3 calls if she has not agreed to meet for coffee then I just move on.
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| Oct 8, 2007 @ 4:22 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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kerbear57
Posts: 89
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Real life, online, blind dates, it doesn't matter! 
After 3 calls you wanna call it quits cause the lady won't agree to meet? 
Hmmm...makes me wonder, why the limit? Especially w/ no phot posted. 
It's a dangerous world out there & one can't be too cautious, even men.
Jus my opinion.
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 3:09 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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fuchia04
Posts: 953
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I think it's necessary to correspond for a LONG time before meeting someone online - it usually takes at least a month or two - sometimes longer.
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 5:35 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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allie416
Posts: 15
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be a man.expect the worst but hope for the best.....
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 7:05 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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fuchia04
Posts: 953
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expect the worst but hope for the best.....
That happens to roughly be Principle 21 in my life's list of principles! 
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 9:13 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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signme
Posts: 12,578
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I hardly ever meet potential dates in "real life". I work close to 12 hours a day and live out in the country. The town I'm near has some really nice single guys about 75 or 80 yrs old! LOL
Most of my dating comes from people I initially meet online. I would probably never give out my phone number at a first meeting in reality and never after one email. I agree with Ker that a guy actually needs to show some interest and take some time to ask questions.
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 9:29 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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udlryy
Posts: 3
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I still think online dating and casual dating (or real life) whatever you want to call it are inherently different. I agree that you must correspond more and be more careful online. What bothers me is that if you have met a person and exchanged phone numbers in a matter of minutes things should progress a little more rapidly compared to online when you have never met the person. If you did not scare the person off immediately by approaching them what is the next step? I mean, do women get approached all the time when they are out? Do they just give numbers for pity? Which implies you look like a nice guy, but in retrospect you are not dating material.
So I guess I want to ask women here is what percentage of the time do you give your phone number to when a guy attempts to make contact in a public place?(supermarket, restaurant, gas station, etc)
What percentage of the time do you do it to get him out of your hair?
When would you want him to call?
When would you want him to ask you out? next day first call, one month one year, third call, never, etc?
Thanks For Listening
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| Oct 9, 2007 @ 10:45 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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kerbear57
Posts: 89
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IF...I was interested I'd get his # & then call. If I found alot of common ground & we seemed to agree on alot of things & he hinted to going out then I'd ask him but....ONLY after I'm comfy & feel he's ok.
I'd never give a fake # just to get rid of him...that's rude.
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| Oct 18, 2007 @ 8:49 AM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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divine35
Posts: 17
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Hum this is tricky really. Man I had this huge spill of if this was me blah blah, but basically expect the worst and hope for the best either way u don't set urself up for to much. For example: Ever seen a nice looking man or woman and been like whoa their hot I wonder if they got a brain and then they open their mouth and u go damn wished this one would have been born without a voice  .
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| Oct 18, 2007 @ 11:11 PM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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MintSummer
Posts: 6
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I'm not sure ... but I think I'm catching the gist of what your asking ... let me know if I'm off the mark.
You're wanting to know why women who have given you their number within the first meeting seem to prevaricate after you call them ...
It may not be a matter of changing their mind, or thinking twice after sleeping on it ... it may simply be that after having given out their number, they now want to take more time to make sure they didn't hand it out to an axe murderer. First impressions can be false ... look at all the victims out their who said, "wow, he seemed so nice". So now a woman is taking a step back b/c though we like to trust our instincts, we also like to be sure our instincts were correct.
There are 3 other reasons I can think of off the top of my head ....
1. Maybe they are having a busy time in their life, and only having met you once, they don't feel comfortable telling you about their tribulations and/or woes that may have them hung up on going out with you.
2. Maybe you start calling too fast and/or too often and they feel like you are being "pushy". And speaking from experience, pushy guys can be either annoying or come off creepy.
3. Maybe you're in too big of a hurry ... slow down, enjoy the process of getting to know someone.
And just to let you know, a woman hardly ever gives out her real number due to "pity" ... why in the hell would we want someone we pity to be calling and bugging the crap outta of us? 
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| Nov 4, 2007 @ 3:41 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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yrluver
Posts: 10
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In my opinion, if a women gives you a phone number after a chance meeting out of pity, she would accidentally give you a wrong number. But a correct phone number would lead me to believe she was open to hearing from you. But whether it is virtual or real there needs to be some connection and conversation before agreeing to meet again.
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| Nov 6, 2007 @ 12:04 AM |
1st call what must a guy do? |
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countrysimple
Posts: 14
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If I met a man in a store who asked me for my number if I didn't think I wanted to have anything to do with him I would just tell him , Sorry I am seeing someone. If I thought I may want to get to know more about him I would either ask for his number or ask to meet him for coffee somewhere I was comfortable with. I would then tell a friend where and when we were meeting and have them call me after a bit so if I needed a way out I could tell him I had to leave. I have always trusted my first impressions and it has always worked for me.
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| Nov 19, 2007 @ 1:39 PM |
1st call what must a guy do?
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Jeans101
Posts: 5
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I agree with MintSummer in that if you call too frequently or too quickly then you come off as needy. And I don't know any woman who would give her number out for pity reasons.
Okay, let's say I met a man in a supermarket. We talked, joked and generally had a good rapport. He asks for my number, I evaluate our conversation so far and agree to give it to him. That quick evaluation has already determined that I find this man interesting and I'm willing to get to know him better. That night he calls. I think "wow! he really is interested". Ideally we spend more time getting to know each other. Do you have kids, what are your interests, what common ground do we have besides both liking the same brand of toothpaste? The phone call ends with a good note and an expectation of talking again soon. Depending on how much we talk each time and what kinds of things we talk about will determine how soon we hook up and meet again in person.
Ok udlryy, I can see these are things that can be done on a date as well. But we lead busy lives and have heard stories on weirdo's and such. We also live in a time when we have devices such as emails and phones to help the process along.
So, here's some advice. Don't limit yourself to 3 phone calls. Don't ask her out immediately in the 1st or 2nd phone call. If she's interested and ready to meet again she will either directly ask you or she'll flirt with the topic to indicate she's open to the idea..depends on her personality. The key for the first phone calls is get to know one another..don't interview..but start with the same banter you left off with at the supermarket, gas station, bar, or church picnic. Ask about her and share yourself as well.. there needs to be equal give and take.
Don't spend 45 minutes going over all your stellar qualities and don't spend 45 minutes making her drag answers out of your monosyllabic, "I don't do phones" attitude..uhm..sorry.. I digress..lol
Good luck with your next encounter.
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