| Dec 25, 2006 @ 8:58 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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gyspydreamer
Posts: 403
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So, say you have two kids. One much older than the other. The older one has a petty father who does whatever he can to ruin any plans you have, which trickles down to the younger one a lot of the time. He doesn't care, because that one isn't his kid.
So, it is Christmas morning and the little one wants to open presents, but the older one can't get there til late afternoon. Do you make the younger one wait or let her do it?
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 10:30 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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I don't think i would make her wait, afterall she has waited all year for this big event, I don;t have young kids anymore but i know if i was a kid i would hate to wait, maybe all day. In the end it is what you think is best, I just offered an opinion, Good luck and Merry Christmas
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 5:32 PM |
Ex's petty demands
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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Too late to answer now, but tough to answer without knowing the ages anyway. If the older one is old enough to understand, and the younger one is still waiting up to catch a glimpse of Santa, by all means let the little one rip into them.
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 5:53 PM |
Ex's petty demands |
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The_love_Giant
Posts: 693
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ya I agree
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 6:00 PM |
Ex's petty demands
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Loreli
Posts: 18,571
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Yep-ages do matter, and I've been there with the b.s. ing ex.
I always found something to keep the younger one busy until her brothers got home...which considering what a waffle-hog she is-isn't too hard!
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 6:01 PM |
Ex's petty demands |
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The_love_Giant
Posts: 693
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| Dec 25, 2006 @ 9:09 PM |
Ex's petty demands
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Let the little one open the presents. Then next year....make darn sure that your older child is present at the time you choose! With my divorce my ex got my kids every other Christmas...so I would plan accordingly.....
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| Dec 31, 2006 @ 2:46 PM |
Ex's petty demands |
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painter007
Posts: 14,966
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I hate to add this but the ex is a parent also and gets his or her time.......He or she may think your just as demanding.
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 9:37 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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Angel178
Posts: 21,500
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I hate myself for saying this, but I also agree with painter. The father is entitled to his time. Let the younger one open the presents, it's a nice one to one time. She the childs joy kind of thing. But next time, you have the older one and you're all together. It's hard and I completely feel your pain, but we (as single mom's) need to put the children's feelings first. I hope things get easier for you. 
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 9:38 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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Angel178
Posts: 21,500
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Oops, I mean, SHARE the joy with the little one. 
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 10:18 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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gyspydreamer
Posts: 403
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Painter and Angel, I would agree IF this man was ANY kind of parent. Fact is, he only schedules things in order to conflict with what he knows I will be planning. Never even bothered to show up for visitation when our son was young. (He is actually jealous that both kids aren't his, as he never wanted the divorce and always wanted us to have 2.) And when he insists on having his way on ALL holidays (nope, won't even consider splitting/sharing to the point of one of us doing Christmas Eve and the other doing it during the day, as he has to get both), I did get a good laugh out of him thinking I am the demanding one. The only one doing any demanding year round is him with his hand out Ever since he was cut off financially about 2 years ago, he has just stepped it up with this petty garbage. For him the holidays are just routine weapons.
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 10:53 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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Angel178
Posts: 21,500
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Sorry to hear that, hope things start to get better. I have one of those exs. I've been out at friends (females who also have kids) with the children (not out at night on a date) only 2x in the last few months. Both times, he just calls and calls my cell phone with stupid questions about the kids just to take up my time and ruin the night. At some point we just have to hope that these men grow up and get a life!
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 10:54 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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Angel178
Posts: 21,500
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Oh yeah, and turn off our cell phones!
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| Jan 1, 2007 @ 11:06 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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gyspydreamer
Posts: 403
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LOL When I left this idiot, I BEGGED him to go find someone else, before the ink was dry on the petition for divorce. ANYTHING just so that he would leave me alone and get over the idea of us getting back together.
And in the future, we will be doing things according to family tradition, and the older kid can just decide what he wants to do. Considering he is now 8 years older than I was when I had him, he is old enough to figure this out for himself. Might sound harsh, but he knows what the deal is, and I not only want nothing to do with his father, I couldn't care less about the man in any way shape or form. Not my place to cater to someone that has no rights to my life, and hasn't for about 25 years. Much less does my other kid have any reason to deal with any of it.
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| Jan 2, 2007 @ 12:04 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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painter007
Posts: 14,966
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Sorry but hes still the dad...like it or not. And remember there was a time when you loved him..........as long as no abuse to kids let him spend his time unharrassed.
My ex was the same...and is the same.. He is what he is.
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| Jan 2, 2007 @ 11:43 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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gyspydreamer
Posts: 403
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Sorry but hes still the dad... Of only one, not the other.
And remember there was a time when you loved him.......... Nope, was actually forced into the marriage through violence, (when I told him no, he threw me down on the pavement and said if I didn't show at the church he would "beat that kid outta me") even did all I could to try to make it so that it couldn't be made legal (drunk during the ceremony, never consumated, had under age minor sign license as witness...)
as long as no abuse to kids
Only mental, emotional and physical, enough for ya'?
let him spend his time unharrassed. Where in any of this did you see any indication of my harrassing anyone? Boy did you get that one turned around. Only reason things have been this way so long is because due to my ex being such an insecure, idiotic prick, I became the "understanding parent" and always backed down so my son wouldn't get caught in the cross fire. There is a BIG difference between refusing to be manipulated and harrassing someone.
My ex was the same...and is the same.. He is what he is. And how far ex is he? When dealing with small children sure, you put up with a lot more to protect them, but my son is way past that stage, and I see no further reason to coddle or cater to his worthless father, much less his father, a man who attempted to rape me, and threatened to do the same to my little sister. Uh yeah, these people are truly evil scum.
Considering I am now 44, and have been finanically supporting him since I was 14, I think I have done my time in hell for a lousy 2 week marriage when I was 18. And despite what you may think, not going to jump through one more flaming hoop for him, EVER. I may have been too young and dumb at the time to figure a way out of the wedding with my kid still in one piece, but not going to pay for it for the rest of my life.
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| Jan 24, 2007 @ 10:29 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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tatiana329
Posts: 717
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gyp, if he married you by forcing you to marry him, had a minor sign the papers, that is fraud. If he tried to rape you and your sister, was violent. I hope you called the police and made reports otherwise you will have to find workable solutions and deal with this man as father of one of your children if there is no legal basis to keep him away. Your making demands and giving the father of your child ultimatums at this point will do you no good at all and maybe even cause your son to see you as "crazy". If I were in your situation since your son is almost grown to find ways to get through the next few years of this as there is no immediate THREAT, only inconviences to you.
If there are any more acts of volience you should call the police and file reports and try not to get your kids involved in any personal disputes you have with their father. In the event the father of one child you have does something illegal, file a police report and seek legal counsil. Making demands and getting bent out of shape is not going to solve anything and only bring you more problems. I suggest you find ways to become more "solution" orientated with the father of your one child for your kids sake, as well as your personal health. Minor inconviences come with having kids, divorce and holidays for everyone. It sounds from your statements ^^^ above you are using your kids to seek revenge on something that happened over 20 years ago. Let in go and live in the now and the work with the cards on the table, unless your able to do something about it... like police reports and documentation that is is abusing his son. You do not have to be around the man... only his son does. Try to work to get threough the next few years, they will pass quickly. If there is some law the ex breaks, then call the police. Do not try to seek revenge through his son. it will only backfire on you. you do not have to let the other child near him... he is not his father and has no legal right to him which should help your situation out. You should maybe seek counseling if your going to change up the way things have been, counseling for the kids.
[Edited on 1/24/2007 10:36 AM]
[Edited on 1/24/2007 10:37 AM]
[Edited on 1/24/2007 10:40 AM]
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| Feb 8, 2007 @ 12:25 AM |
Ex's petty demands |
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momma24
Posts: 390
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situations like this makes me soooo happy my "relationship" with my ex simply does not exist. We don't bother each other and he has nothing to do with my son. I never have to worry about any of this, the schedule conflicts or the violence.
Good luck hun, God bless. I really do wish all ex's were as drama free as my ex and I are. I hope the children don't get hurt by all of this.... 
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| Jan 18 @ 12:04 AM |
Ex's petty demands
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chatty
Posts: 34
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Take a few gifts and set them aside and then have that great Christmas morning take pictures laugh have fun with your youngest child. Later when sissy gets home and she is opening her gifts your younger child can open the gifts set aside and you can once again laugh take picutres and have a blast together. This way she gets to have the run in and open gifts fun Christmas morning and still have fun when sissy gets home.
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| Jan 23 @ 8:26 PM |
Ex's petty demands |
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FunkyMonkey68
Posts: 425
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I think that when an ex is petty like that, to me they aren't father's, they are just sperm donor's. My son's "father" is a total shit. He never was and to this day, isn't a father. He is just a nusiance and an ass... just a sperm donor. It is unfortunate that my son has to see this for himself. It breaks my heart. I love my son and am sooo thankful to have him and he deserves so much better, than what he is getting from his so called father.
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