| Mar 16, 2007 @ 10:47 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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yes this is a vent leave now if you donthave a strong stomach ...
tonight .. once again my ex called from prison... this is my youngest ones dad and he is there for life...i have tried for 7 damn years to be the parent who will let her see him talk to him etc i didint want to keep her from him beacuse they both really love each other.. but i have had it!!! .. a few months back he was being transferred upnorth to another prison... the one he was in was a DOABLE drive and visit time it was 2 hours and cost about 100 each visit if not more.( i had taken her to see him when he was up north b4 a 15 hour drive plus tons of $$ and a visit to her grammas who we picked up and took WITH included an overnight stay etc ) ... i took her as often as i could afford.. but apparently that wasnt enough he would write my family telling them im not bringing her down etc and they would question me and guilt me into robbing peter to pay paul to take her to see him... well just b4 he got transferred i TOLD him i would bring her but DAILY he would call and bug me about it racking up an almost 200 phone bill in 1 month ...its bad enough i dont get ANY form of support for his daughter but then he makes it impossible for me to take care of her by doing this.. alot of the calls SHE answered and just accepted cause she wanted to talk to her dad I didnt KNOW about them...so last month i told him he cant be calling for a while and to USE the damn stamps and envelopes i sent him (yes yet another EXPENSE!!) wellhe sends a declaration for me to SIGN in regards to his case... after laughinmy friggin head off i tossed it to the side (once agin HIM trying to control ME from inside using my kid as leverage) even my oldest when she read the declaration he had done laughed her fool head off and siad *Mom you arent siging this are you? im like" um no" so he calls yet AGAIN tonight to prod me into siging it or writing my own up and signing it and i told his sorry ass off and unfortunately my young ones were in the room  so yet again im the BIG BAD BITCH in my daughters eyes ... just like me NOT being able to afford anything for christmas for them cuase of the phone bill... F**************K im so tired of this...  now im gonna have to listen to HIS mom (91 years old) andmy sister and family guilt me into doing something because he sent everyone a copy of the thing he wants me to sign  its just not fair !!! i wasnt the one who Effed up yet me and my kids pay every damn day
what im wondering is this just me going thru this or do other parents have to deal with being the BAD GUY because of the actions of the OTHER ABSENT parent??
[Edited on 3/16/2007 11:02 PM]
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| Mar 17, 2007 @ 11:04 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,943
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Honey, I hate to state the obvious, but if he were a rocket scientist he wouldn't be in prison to begin with. So you can hardly expect any reason there.
I have an ex who isn't in prison, but is an idiot just the same. All these years I was wondering if it was humanly possible for a man to be such a moron, but haven't come up with any explanations so I stopped wondering.
What I do now is not think about him. Which is just about all I can do. I hope that when my son is old enough he will see certain things for what they are.
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| Mar 17, 2007 @ 2:20 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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Im hoping that my daughter sees it too *sigh* we did have a sit down about it last night and she understands the WHY she is not alowed to just accept his calls anymore, shes 9 and is very smart, so Im pretty sure she knows that hes there for a reason yanno?? doesnt stop her from loving him tho and doesnt make it any easier and no I dont expect any more from him ... he already proved how big an idiot he is to me... was more of a rant so i didnt boil over here at home yanno?? btw thanx Mary 
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| Mar 17, 2007 @ 3:40 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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BrownQT
Posts: 5
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If he TRULY cared about seeing his daughter, his dumb a$$ would not be where he is. I wouldn't take her. Last thing she needs to think is that a man like that is acceptable in her life. He has no self control, last thing you want is her meeting someone of the same when she gets older. Show her you can pick better and that he was a MISTAKE. Move on. Change your number.
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| Mar 17, 2007 @ 4:50 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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MarysPlace
Posts: 2,943
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You're welcome becky...!
Vent all you want, I know how hard it must be. Not only that you're taking care of a child on your own, but you have a moron do everything in his power to make it even more difficult. For no apparent or logical reason. One would think that him being the father would do anything to help, and if he can't help, then at least refrain from making things worse. But nope.
Believe me I know. Like I said, same boat minus the prison. Look at the bright side, at least he's right where he belongs.
The bigger bright side, YOU get to enjoy your children which is the greatest blessing of them all. He doesn't cuz he's a moron. ;)
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| Mar 19, 2007 @ 2:32 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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a little update... yes he had sent my sis a copy... she brought it over saying that he had asked her to make sure that I read it etc and get it done ASAP... well I told my sis exactly what i thoguht of him USING her and the rest of the family to control me... and that there was NO WAY IN HELL I was signin anything.. she sat there stunned .. and I explained to her what he had been doing for 7 years... she never really paid attention I guess  and that I was tired of her taking up for him ..ie: buggin me to do stuff for him because *you KNOW how horrible it is in there * and my answer was .. "Sis he KNEW how bad it is there and he CHOSE to fk up our life together and go back there ... so stop taking up for him..". I guess maybe I made an impact on her enabler self... she quietly put the letter away and dropped the whole subject.. WHEW!! feels DAMN GOOD TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF !!! 
[Edited on 3/19/2007 2:37 AM]
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| Mar 19, 2007 @ 2:35 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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Oh and YES MARY I do have my kids and IM the one who gets to revel in the glory when they accomplish great things....because Im the only one there to make SURE they are taught what they need to know to be able to do that!!!
and its ME who gets to receive ALL thier love and share thier happiness when they DO something remarkable NOTHING can beat that!! 
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| Mar 19, 2007 @ 9:34 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,807
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aww becky
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| Mar 19, 2007 @ 10:20 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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ty TT
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| Mar 21, 2007 @ 3:12 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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poniepower
Posts: 657
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I feel bad for you Becky
. My x hubby makes my life a living hell too, only through my son, Matt, who goes to his house on the weekends. But he hates going there, listenting to his dad badmouth me and such.
I've asked him repeatedly to be a fulltime dad, not just a weekend dad, or when it's convienent for him. Monday he called to ask Matt to ride with him to sell steers, Matt said no, he had some of Jason's friends coming over.
I actually felt bad for his dad, and I told Matt so, he's hurting just as much as we are this time of year.
I don't have a clue as to giving you advice, I can't even keep things in spect here.
I hope things start looking up for you and your child.
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| Mar 21, 2007 @ 4:01 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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twotall911
Posts: 12,807
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ponie 
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| Mar 22, 2007 @ 3:51 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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Thank you Ponie and big huggs to you hon  and things ARE looking better since I decided to finally say NO!!! so freeing it has been !!
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 9:44 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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juzhey
Posts: 379
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"i wasnt the one who Effed up yet me and my kids pay every damn day "
Sorry, but this made me laugh, not at you exactly, but the whole situation. Hard to believe, but some idiots are this full of themselves. I had an ex go to jail. Went down dressed to the nines to show him how stupid he had been to get that piece of glass between the two of us, and left. Nope, nothing on his books, no calls or even letters. He did the crime, now he can do the time, NOT ME! A nine year old should be able to get her head around that concept. As far as the monetary stuff, I wouldn't be putting penny one toward doing him any favors. HE is the one that got locked up and separated from his daughter NOT YOU. And please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about not signing, driving, or anything else. It isn't your debt to pay. No way I would ever let my kids go without Christmas due to an idiotic jailbird. And please do show your kid that phone bill. It will probably make it a lot clearer to her as to what a detriment he is being, especially if you show her the rest of your budget and how he doesn't fit in.
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 11:29 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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poniepower
Posts: 657
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Muahssssssss twotall!!
Hugs and kisses to you too Becky. I'm happy for you that things are looking up for you and your child.
It's always nice to hear of a happy ending in a situation like yours.
My son is suppose to be going to his dad's tonight. I wonder what kind of an excuse he will use to get out of it this weekend....but this is a tough weekend for him, I have to encourage him to spend it with his dad. His dad needs him as much as I do. I know his dad is hurting just as much as me and the kids. I just wish things could be a little more easier for him up there. He's so sad everytime he gets in his dad's truck to leave. I wish I could take his pain away, or just tell him, "you don't have to go", but I can't do that...................".If wishes were fishes."..
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| Mar 23, 2007 @ 12:50 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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No way I would ever let my kids go without Christmas due to an idiotic jailbird. sorry but until you live my life and walk in my shoes and have to deal with a child that loves her father and misses him you cannot understand where im coming from k?? its so very easy to judge from the outside huh??
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 4:48 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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twotall911
Posts: 12,807
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thats sad for both but heres to ya
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 4:51 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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 you sweet man you
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 10:44 AM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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juzhey
Posts: 379
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sorry but until you live my life and walk in my shoes and have to deal with a child that loves her father and misses him you cannot understand where im coming from k?? its so very easy to judge from the outside huh??
And you assume I have no experience with a situation like this? Wrong.
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 5:16 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard??
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 11,714
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never said you didnt... but like I said UNTIL you walk in MY shoes you CANNOT know.. cause unles you are me you will NOT have the exact same events happen... . you can ASSume you do tho.. I would NEVER ASSume to know how someone would deal in ANY situation because I could never ReALLY know how they would be feeling at the moment . that would just be presumptuous.
I assumed NOTHING in regards to you, just stated the fact that you CANNOT know because you are NOT me ...
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| Mar 24, 2007 @ 6:24 PM |
why do exes make raising your kids so damn hard?? |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,294
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Never confront anyone before walking a mile in their shoes..........first cuz you're already a mile away, and second, because you have their shoes..............  ......................sorry, just though it might be time for a funny........ ....... 
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