| Aug 20, 2007 @ 3:16 PM |
Would you continue dating this person?
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HereForTheBeer
Posts: 2
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I’m new to the forums and I need some advice…(thanks in advance) 
I started dating a guy that I met while my daughter was at her dad’s (out of state) for the summer. We have had a whirlwind relationship, and spent little time apart. I told him in the beginning that I was just having fun and had no plans of getting serious. My daughter has come back home and he is falling apart because I can’t/won’t see him while she’s with me. He doesn’t think that I am committed to the relationship, has given ultimatums and has even told me that his friends say I can’t be trusted! I have enjoyed spending time with him, and he has made me feel more in a couple of months than I did in my entire marriage. But, I’d like to wait for the right time for all of us to hang out as “friends” in mixed company with other children around before she meets him. I’m actually very open to the possibility of finding happiness again, but am treading cautiously. I don’t want to replace one mistake with another one.
Would you continue dating this person under these circumstances? Should I be flattered or annoyed? What are your experiences with dating people who don’t have children?
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| Aug 20, 2007 @ 5:03 PM |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 4,085
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bartender, git this lady a beer, and keep them coming. she will start making sense after a few ! 
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| Aug 21, 2007 @ 9:45 AM |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,926
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...Apparently, you set the rules in the beginning and everything was above board. It is also possible that over a couple of months, you insinuated or told him something differently.
...By now, you know if you want to introduce him to the family and if your intentions have changed for more of a permanent relationship, then everything needs to fit together; including the family.
...For him, he was an idiot for entering into a relationship with anyone that is yet to be out of her last one, let alone taken some time to heal.
...Then again, if you snooze, you lose.
...One last thought, is that your primary concern is for you child and as far as I am concerned with my children, everyone is a pedophile until I conclude differently.
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| Aug 21, 2007 @ 11:01 AM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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He doesn’t think that I am committed to the relationship, has given ultimatums and has even told me that his friends say I can’t be trusted!
BIG RED FLAG! he is NOT allowing you to move at YOUR pace in regards to your child .. NOT a good thing 
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| Aug 28, 2007 @ 3:39 AM |
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sthnhylander
Posts: 4,062
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I would be talking to your daughter and find out her feelings about what she would experience if you met someone else and started dating.....and build it from there.....by being open to her....
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| Sep 4, 2007 @ 7:41 PM |
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momma24
Posts: 410
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I told him in the beginning that I was just having fun and had no plans of getting serious. My daughter has come back home and he is falling apart because I can’t/won’t see him while she’s with me. He doesn’t think that I am committed to the relationship, has given ultimatums and has even told me that his friends say I can’t be trusted!
you told him you were just having fun and not getting serious....if he agreed to that he has not honest with you or himself because apparently he was getting serious
if he is falling apart because he can't see you, he needs some maturity.
ultimatums are like time outs, only useful when given to a child
anyone who brings into a relationship the argument of ...my friend told me this.....is not worth dating. if he is worried about trusting you, he should be able to tell you...we need to talk about some issues that are concerning me....not oh yeah well my buddies say you aren't trust worthy.
.....me personally, my son comes first. not dating, not friends, not even work. my son comes first. if you don't want to spend time in mixed company...DON'T. There is a reason why you feel that way, TRUST IT. My responsibility as a parent is to my son, not to anyone else. If he loved you, he would respect your wish to be with your daughter. He would respect your feelings and not act as he has. me personally, I would NOT continue a relationship with someone who acts this way. JMHO. 
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| Sep 16, 2007 @ 6:00 AM |
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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Run for your life woman................
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| Sep 17, 2007 @ 7:01 AM |
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ColdinWisconsin
Posts: 9,987
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I NEVER exposed my daughter to men that I dated. Only once I was in a relationship did I do that. So in 13 years, she has been exposed to 1 man.
This is obviously YOUR choice. But use GREAT caution!
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| Oct 28, 2007 @ 4:35 PM |
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Kat_luvr
Posts: 716
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IF you set the rules in the beginning and he knew it and he can't handle that now...........Kiss him Buh Bye!
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