| Dec 15, 2005 @ 5:32 PM |
Bully's at School
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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My 13-year-old son is having problems with this. His dad told him to fight back, which he did twice last year and got a one day suspension for. The bullying quit with these boys, but a new scenario presents itself.
The kid giving him troubles now (on the bus) is much bigger, and my son (I can't blame him) doesn't want me to say anything about it to the school. His little sister confirmed this was happening a couple of times a week. Today the kid brought snow on the bus and shoved it in his shirt.
As a Mom, I want to protect him, but realize the time will (or has?) come I can't.
Any suggestions?
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 6:09 PM |
Bully's at School |
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kabooby
Posts: 306
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oh my god, I went through the same thing when my son was 13.
I had to teach my son how to punch someone the right way..
and he wasnt bullied anymore that year.
But he told me that every kid on his bus was a bully.. except about 3 of them. And my son is one who will stand up for the underdog.. which made him a target.
I hate bullies, and 13 year olds never want you to step in for them... I wanted to myself.
I did have to call the school when they destroyed his homework one time by pouring water in his bookbag.
The boys got 3 days suspension from the bus.
I ended up sending him to school in a smaller town the next year.
I know that is kind of drastic, but I didnt want him to start hating school.
Fighting back is the only way to deal with kids like that.
But if you have to, call the school, they will usually do what they can to help you.. just dont tell your son your doing it.
And if the school doesnt do anything... tell them that you are going to call the superintendants office.. The principle will NEVER dismiss anything you have to say if you do that.
Trust me on that one.. I had to throw it up once.. and that is all it took.
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 6:16 PM |
Bully's at School
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rabidcanine
Posts: 22
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Teach your son the four "N"s of conflict resolution
First- be Nice try to talk your way out of the confrontation. "Hey, (insert bully name here) you been lifting? You're getting buff man!"
Second- Negotiate- "Look, if you don't kick my ass, I'll give you my lunch money"
Third- Nuts, I don't care how big that bullying prick is, a good swift kick in the balls will drop him like a rock.
Finally- Neck, three stiff fingers to the adam's apple will almost assure no future bullying will occur. This final N is only for the most unrepentant of bullies.
Remember, Nice, Negotiate, Nuts, Neck
It's the politically correct thing to do
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 6:19 PM |
Bully's at School |
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cranbrook2
Posts: 42
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Tell him to aim for the family jewels
nothing worse than a nut ache. 
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 6:20 PM |
Bully's at School
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kabooby
Posts: 306
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teehee
I wish you were around when I needed you rabid
[Edited on 12/15/2005 6:20 PM]
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 7:18 PM |
Bully's at School |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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That was pretty good Rabid.
Kabooby, he is in a smaller school...and shares a bus with the high schoolers, which this kid is. Granted it's only a year difference, but I guess this kid had a growth spurt somewhere along the line, or was held back. I think my son is trying to avoid the conflict because he'd get kicked off the bus, which would really tick his dad off. Since my 19-year-old is 6'2" and 210, I keep telling my younger one he will definitely grow and this kid will cower someday. I've seen bruises on his arm from this kid, but my son won't admit it to the teachers, he will tell me, but no one in the school.
He's not one to start anything, kind of keeps to himself. I think if it was off the bus, he'd take his chances and try and kick a**. Thanks for the advice.
Nice, negotiate, nuts and neck. Nice, negotiate, nuts and neck. Yep, I think I've got it.  
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 8:45 PM |
Bully's at School
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hunterforlove
Posts: 7
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I just went threw this with my daughter.I taught her to fight,and now sending her to learn how to fight.But this might sound funny but I paid a bigger kid to pick on him and had him tell the kid if he picks on her again he will kick his ass and it worked to this day.
But now she knows how to fight and can protect herself ,this was just my way might not work for yours.Good luck
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 8:45 PM |
Bully's at School |
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hunterforlove
Posts: 7
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I just went threw this with my daughter.I taught her to fight,and now sending her to learn how to fight.But this might sound funny but I paid a bigger kid to pick on him and had him tell the kid if he picks on her again he will kick his ass and it worked to this day.
But now she knows how to fight and can protect herself ,this was just my way might not work for yours.Good luck
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| Dec 15, 2005 @ 11:34 PM |
Bully's at School
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kabooby
Posts: 306
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well if his dad wants him to fight back, why would be be mad if he gets kicked off the bus for fighting back?
That makes no sense.
I expected my kid to be suspended from the bus for punching that kid, but he wasnt... but if he was, I would have still been proud of him for standing up for himself.
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| Dec 16, 2005 @ 12:13 AM |
Bully's at School |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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Because dad would have to drive/pick him up for school, and his schedule doesn't allow that. After the first time fighting, his dad gave him a punishment. The second time he defended himself he told his dad "No", you told me to fight back and I did, so I won't accept a punishment.
But now that you brought it up, I might see how long the suspension would be. I already had one teacher talk about it with him, so at least the school has been forwarned.
I have him this weekend, and told him today we would talk more then. I just hate that defeated tone in his voice.
Gosh, I hate bullies 
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| Dec 16, 2005 @ 1:32 AM |
Bully's at School
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Angel54214
Posts: 12,324
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Another tough one Cyn...Try to arrange a parent and child get together. If you can contact that bully's parents, maybe arrange a little get together. I did that once and it works pretty well. Had a bbq and invited the parents and the bully kids over. Before I knew it, they were getting alone much better. Realizing other kids have a life away from school and maybe your son has something real neat to show the bully that might give a change of heart. Could be worth a try if nothing else.
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| Dec 16, 2005 @ 8:29 AM |
Bully's at School |
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RAKS37
Posts: 611
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He could tell the kid to get off at his stop.
Along with mentioning to him that he is a genuine p**** for wanting a fight with someone smaller than him in the first place
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| Dec 16, 2005 @ 10:13 PM |
Bully's at School
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zestful
Posts: 235
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I'm only telling you this out of my own expierience.
I was the bully on the bus.The kid that I was bullyin was a neighbor,was a "nerd" and was smaller than me.
One day while giving him whatever crap I was giving him verbally he took a cheap shot.
Hit me hard right square my nose.
Yep,the bloody kind of hit.
I could of easily dropped kick that kid all the way to the front of the bus,but I didnt.
He had the guts that I didnt think he had.
I'm not telling you to get your son suspended again,I'm only saying...win or lose-guts earn respect
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| Dec 17, 2005 @ 9:50 AM |
Bully's at School |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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Thanks folks, I shared you suggestions with him, and I think it helps for him to know he isn't alone on this.
He's not a geek at all, he was into goth, and the bully/stuck-up kids didn't "approve" of his dress style. They're threatening to "can him", throw him in the garbage can, when he enters high school. Grrrrrrrr.
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| Dec 17, 2005 @ 10:08 AM |
Bully's at School
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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I LOVE the 4 N's!!!
Since my 19-year-old is 6'2" and 210
Maybe you can arrange a visit to the school by big bro, with a friendly hello to the instigators?? Just a 'so glad to meet my baby bro's friends' kinda thing?
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| Dec 17, 2005 @ 11:52 AM |
Bully's at School |
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Pete73052
Posts: 19,368
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I like Angel's BBQ idea the best. It's worth a try - and bullies don't tend to act like bullies in front of their parents.
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| Dec 17, 2005 @ 1:11 PM |
Bully's at School
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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I live in a small apartment, so that's not an option...though I do like the idea.
Big brother is in college in Illinois, so that's not an option. Though he does have a big step-brother that's offered to help...so maybe something will come of it.
Thanks, my friends. This is one of those tough parenting things you don't want to screw up on and can use support and advice.
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| Dec 19, 2005 @ 4:07 AM |
Bully's at School |
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lilbikerchick
Posts: 213
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My son was 12 when it started. He's now 15. The bullying started on the bus and in the neighborhood park. One day I was at the park with my youngest child when I hear the bullies calling my son names. He was taking it and and really trying to ignore the boy. Well, mom's need to protect kicked in. I know bad move..lol. But I said to the brat... the only reason "Joe" hasn't decked you yet is I told him not to fight so you better take your butt home before I turn him lose on ya. The look of shock was worth it. (he didn't know I was Joe's mom) Never heard from the kid again.
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| Dec 22, 2005 @ 3:53 AM |
Bully's at School
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Always_Striving
Posts: 7,332
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Set him up with an appointment at an Ed Parker's Kenpo Karate school. They'll take care of the rest.
If mom only knew the things boys have to do not to be the nerd who is in line to get his A$$ kicked.
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| Dec 22, 2005 @ 3:55 PM |
Bully's at School |
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CynCity
Posts: 556
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Thanks LilBiker and Always. Yes, I do realize he has the potential to get his butt kicked, especially if I interefere. It's hard because when my irish gets up, it doesn't like to back down...but I know I have to let go of the situation to some extent.
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