| Mar 15 @ 9:43 AM |
Arg she did it again!
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,703
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the mother of my children is in an abusive relationship with current live in boyfriend. Example, friday night her and boyfriend of six month got into a fist a cuffs. She has bruises all up and down her armm AND A BITE MARK ONE HER FACE!!!! And shes KEEPING the asshole. Shes not gona leave him. So now Im stuck in a rock an a hard spot. I have to keep my sons from going there. Jeyden currently was living with mom. Mom and boyfriend think that Im trying to use the boy a a tool to split them up. that has to be the farthest thing from the truth. This is mother of Ava. Ava daddy shook the hell out of her and abused my sons as well. If I call the cops her boy friend goes to jail for a very long time, He just got off probation and is a fellon. Im afraid to jump before the dude can get help, but Im afraid if I wait, the abuse will continue and spill over to my children. Boston already once threw himself between a physcial fight. I dont see what other choice I have.
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| Mar 15 @ 9:54 AM |
Arg she did it again! |
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SweetKalena
Posts: 448
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OUCH! No matter what, the kids safety always comes first. I am thinking this is not something new for him. Go with your gut instincts Hun, it's the right choice. You have worked so hard to bring them up right with good morals and values. Letting that situation continue is like saying its ok. It's not. But you already know that. You are a strong man. It may be ugly for a bit, but not uglier than the domino effect that may very well happen if nothing is done.
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| Mar 15 @ 9:58 AM |
Arg she did it again!
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,703
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your right. I owe no loyality to her or him. I do my sons. I know as well as remembered when I was their aga and going threw one of mama boyfriends I prayed someone would come and intervein, No one did. This isnt my fault. I didnt choose for them to drink to fight, to BITE, or abuse one another. Why do I fee guilty then?
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| Mar 15 @ 10:09 AM |
Arg she did it again! |
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SweetKalena
Posts: 448
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Perhaps it is the knowledge that the road ahead after intervention is a rough one.
You will be perceived as the cause. Been there done that. In the end however, the road not taken due to intervention is not better. In the end there will come a moment when she will understand, whether she admits this to you or not, that you have done the right thing. Your kids will also know this. Think back. Now don't feel guilty Hun. Feel proud. Feel proud to be the good, strong, loving father that you are.
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| Mar 15 @ 12:51 PM |
Arg she did it again!
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,930
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Burns...maybe you feel guilty b/c you understand how it could happen. How things might get that far...even though you're miles away from that mindset.
You have to do what's right for the kids first. They can't protect themselves. You have to do it for them. Wishing you the strength in your heart to do the right thing for your boys.
Here's to everyone who's ever had to make a very hard decision. (((((Hugs)))))
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| Mar 15 @ 2:37 PM |
Arg she did it again! |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,703
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accually the oppisite. I dont understand. I have zero tolrence for domestic abuse.
Jeyden is being moved back into my place, effective imediately. His mother just dropped off his back pack and school closes. I have an appointment on monday with atturnies and Ill be filing the nessary paperwork monday afternoon.
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| Mar 15 @ 2:50 PM |
Arg she did it again!
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SweetKalena
Posts: 448
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You are a good father and a good man.
May God bless you and help you through this.
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| Mar 15 @ 8:14 PM |
Arg she did it again! |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 3,052
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Burns: Why do I fee guilty then?
...A part of you still feels some loyalty to the Mother of your kids, as she will always be their Mother. I don't care what she does with her life, even 20 years from now, all she will have to do, is walk up to those kids and say she is sorry and all is forgiven. There is a hardly a kid in the world that will not forgive their Mother if she simply asks and expect it to be so.
...Guilty? ... maybe, because you waited until now and still procrastinating about doing the right thing, your kids suffer this BS and cannot see their Mother.
...A felon has already had help available if they wanted it and obviously, the Mother needs some help as well for either her participation, or her lack of self esteem in allowing.
...None of this BS is about the adults, but the kids and someone doing the right thing.
Good luck... 
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| Mar 15 @ 8:20 PM |
Arg she did it again!
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BandTMom
Posts: 26,554
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You know the right thing to do. This is just reinforcement.
As a survivor of domestic abuse, I wish someone would have called the cops when I needed them to.
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| Mar 15 @ 8:34 PM |
Arg she did it again! |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,135
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you know what is the right thing to do.. protect your children, at all costs
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| Mar 15 @ 8:39 PM |
Arg she did it again!
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Loreli
Posts: 19,315
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Oh, Burns, my friend....
It won't be easy, but if he's that type of man...he may not know a stopping point someday.Do what you know is right... 
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| Mar 20 @ 12:28 PM |
Arg she did it again! |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 8,703
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It was worse then I thought.
But its atlease geting help.
Was gona grab the kid and jet back to Wisconsin. But knowing how that felt sucked. So what to do what to do. I called and pulled in all the support systems. They are both in counsuling, mom and her boyfriend.
I couldnt hold just mom responsible. I went hand had a talk with the guys nose. Delivered my message. If theres an next time Jeyden doesnt feel safe at home, he will have a new home.
I have released Jeyden back to his mother. Yet I visit him everynight for our after dinner walk.
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| Mar 20 @ 3:23 PM |
Arg she did it again!
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steveemac
Posts: 2,336
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Why do I fee guilty then? I don't think that feeling is so much guilt as it is trepidation or anxiety about the shitstorm that turning that loser in could cause.
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| Mar 21 @ 9:37 AM |
Arg she did it again! |
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,930
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Everything we do in life is for one of two reasons...to gain pleasure or avoid pain.
Sometimes, you can't avoid the pain. It's part of doing the right thing.
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| Mar 22 @ 1:26 AM |
Arg she did it again!
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mzlara388
Posts: 1,026
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You sound like such a good dad. You truly look out for your kids. I commend you. I haven't had to deal with abusive stuff with my ex. However, I have had to remove my son from his visitation after finding out he was drunk. Its never easy on the kids. You are doing what's right.
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