| Jul 16, 2006 @ 2:40 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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ktchaos
Posts: 11
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Does anybody have trouble in the dateing world being a single mom/dad? Some of my friends have but I really don't... I'm always honest about my children. Some of my girlfriends aren't so honest about theirs.
Have you ever lyed to your dates or keep your children (secrets) from your dates?
I'm ALWAYS honest about mine... Hey; if you're not going to accept my children then don't expect me to see you again :)  my kids are & will forever be my life 
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 3:31 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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The only trouble it causes me is that I've set myself very high standards when dating. If I don't feel that a woman is gonna be any good for my daughter then I will not date her, even if I could have a good time with her.
And no, I never hide the fact that I'm a single-dad, I'm damn proud of it!! 
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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ktchaos
Posts: 11
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I feel the same way. Some people say you're only dateing them & not their children... that's not how I see it. If you date me then of cours you're going to have to deal with my kids because they're a part of my life.
& you can still stay friends with her if you have a good time :)
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 4:30 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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Cidronlvnv
Posts: 285
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I got the situation but reversed. I am the single parent of kids, though the ex has custody. Though, I will have equal rights and all. They come first, and if my date are serious, they have to be dealt with on her part. Sorry, but she will always be second to them in all ways and times. If she can deal with that, great. If not, Who knows what might have been.
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 4:59 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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& you can still stay friends with her if you have a good time :) Absolutely! When I dfate a woman I make sure now that we are going out primarily as friends, and if if goes further than that, then all is well and good. This way I have made some really good friends over the past couple of years, but alas not a partner that I is right for us (me and my daughter).
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 5:58 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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LSU79
Posts: 323
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I don't keep my kids secret, but I don't date in front of them either, and I won't until I find "the one". I don't want them getting attached (and vice versa) to someone who won't be there for the long haul.
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 6:33 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Neither do I LSU, which is why I don't actually "date", I only meet as friends first. That way I cannot lose, and it has been beneficial for both me and my daughter, because we have both made friends from this.
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 6:39 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,896
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I never had any problems with dating in front of my kids.Kids are smart,they know every date you introduce to them isnt there future stepmom.I always welcomed there opinions about who I was dating and took that into consideration.Believe it or not,there opinions were very close to the same as mine.
Kids are smart.
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| Jul 16, 2006 @ 7:25 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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I know kids are smart Jankia, and I am sure my daughter would have the same opinion as me as regards most women, but let's say I date a woman for maybe 2 or 3 months, Lisa gets very close to her and very fond of her, but it doesn't work out between me and this woman. Lisa gets yet another disappointment in her life. She has already lost one mother, and to get her hopes up unfairly is something that I will avoid as best I can. Of course, if I find a woman that I feel is the "right one" I will introduce her to Lisa, and it may not work out either, but I want to avoid that situation if I can.
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| Aug 16, 2006 @ 12:19 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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jookygurl
Posts: 5
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I agree, I've never lied to anyone about having kids I normally use it to scare them off but it never works. If you can't accept me with kids, then take a hike, I'm not the one for you.
But I have serious issues dating.. i never have a babysitter and my ex NEVER takes the kids. It makes meeting someone difficult if the only places you go are the park and museums etc. Most of the men there are married and when I'm with my kids I'm not trying to have some guy come up to me with a HEY BABY... rofl
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| Aug 23, 2006 @ 9:21 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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lbfp
Posts: 3
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ChinaBull...I would just like to tell u ..... I think ur child is a very lucky child to have a father that is concerned about her feels.....everyone thinks I let my sons run my life, but it is not that way....if I ask his opinion....that is what I want.....his opinion....he is smart and his opinion and feels r much more important than everyone elses....I am glad to see u stand up for what u believe is right.
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| Aug 26, 2006 @ 6:23 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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thankyou lbfp, and you are right, whose opinion could possibly be more important than the opinions of our child/children? No-ones!! 
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| Aug 30, 2006 @ 10:30 AM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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sassy5d
Posts: 7
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I always have the problem of someone being interested in me and then finding out I have kids and they bolt.. Which I guess is a good thing because then they arn't worth the aggrivation but still..
Does anyone know why it seems (at least to me) that women who are single parents of boys have an easier time then single parents of girls?
I always laugh too when I'm asked.. sooo where's the daddy...lol Why does that matter?
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| Sep 4, 2006 @ 5:39 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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ElPedanto
Posts: 17
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I'm in the pretty much the same situation as jookygurl, the boy mom doesn't take them except when it's convenient for her and, I won't let them go over if whe's been drinking - which usually means she'll take them on a school night, seldom on a weekend.
Thus, it's nearly impossible to meet anyone or get to know anyone well enough to even find out if what they think about dating a single father!
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 1:34 AM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Ok...here is the thing. I have met a really great guy the thing is he is only 20. I am 41. He looks and acts a lot older. My exhusband was 11 years younger then me. My daughter was 10 when I married him and did not see to mind it. Now however, she is furious with me. She tells me that I am disgusting becuase I am interested in this guy. She tells me that he is only a couple years older than my son who is 18, and that I could be his mother. I dont know what to do. I know he is young. But I have never considered a birthdate ( unless they are underage) an important thing. He will be 21 soon. She yells and screams at me now and locks herself in her room. She now tells me that she does not want to live with me anymore....and she is 9 months pregnant and cries. I dont want my daughter to hate me over this, but what do I do? If I allow her to dictate to me who and how I see and how old they are then how do I keep control of my life later every time I do something she does not like. I have told her that my sex life or dating life is none of her concern. But it only makes her mader. Some one please tell me if you have ever been thru this.....
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 2:08 AM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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Are you serious? 
Well, I can understand your daughter. This particularly critical time in her life (after reading your saga posted elesewhere) she's been counting on her mother...she wasn't looking for a playmate. ~sigh~
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 9:32 AM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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twotall911
Posts: 13,048
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I think that if you have children then the person whom your seeking can accept them if not then their looking for something else here and gone by day break, myself i would date someone with kids for its their world you try to build for them, also try to stay within a reasonable age group, I raised three by myself and am proud of it now their adults anyway some of you younger ladies us older guys are nice to have around, one to leave a little of our experiences with them, some of us have been there done it..so to speak
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 3:26 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Ok...My daughter is no longer a child. Maybe if she were still a little girl I would understand the reply but she is 17 almost 18. My son is already in college. My daughter will be moving to GA in April. When is it ok to start my life? Do I have to give up what I want to do for myself for my children?
Tell me Sunbabe, do you let your children tell you who you can date and how old they can be? Do they tell you where you can live? How much money you can spend?
I asked her if it would have been different if the guy were 20 years older then me.....Yes she replied. So how is it ok for me to be the younger person in the relationship and not the older?
We all have our preferences for those we are attracted to. I love younger men. I will say that this guy is the youngest so far, however, I dont know if I will continue with him or not. I make sure that they are of age and then I determine if I want to be around them based on thier personality and how they treat me. Some men look at me and see nothing but fat. Do I get offened by that? No....Some men want skinny women. I dont like big guys. I tend to be intimidated by large men. I like a tall guy and not weighing over 200lbs. There are men who chose not to date me who are my age because I am 41....the same age they are...why? Because they want younger women. Why is it that we accept it from men but not women? I am trying to say that we all have preferences and as long as its legal and not causing harm...why should we deny what we want? Expecailly when our children are grown.
ITs not like I am bringing him home with me. So no Sunbabe I did not bring him home for her playmate. And I have been "there" for my daughter every day since the doctor laid that child in my arms 17 years ago, and I will contiune to be there for her till I die. But at some point we have to make our decisons based on what we want for ourselves not what others tell us we should do or not do. I have spent the past 18+ years living for my children. Their wants and needs before mine (never regreted nor would I change a thing), doing what was best for my family first. I quit college when I could not make the family, work, and school thing work. Now when they are grown.....yes She is now grown. She will have her daughter in the next week or so and she will have to learn herself about sacrifice and what it means to be a parent.
My question I guess should have been, at what point do we start being individuals again and not merely mom.
BTW......I asked my 18 year old son what he thought about his mother dating someone close to his age:
His reply was.....I dont give a crap who you date, its none of my business and my sister should mind her own. As long as they are over 18 no one should care. You are intitled to date who you want. Why does he understand and she does not?
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 3:46 PM |
Dating life of a single parent...
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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My reply was in response to all the OTHER things you and she are dealing with at the moment (hey, you shared them here, so I'm not commenting out of the clear blue). And I wasn't referring to him as a playmate for her, but to you being her playmate and peer right now. She needs YOU, as a MOTHER...as her childs GRANDMOTHER for awhile -- at least as a "Mother Image". I was looking at it from her point of view.
~Sheesh~ if she was scheduled to leave with her baby in a month or so, you could have waited, I'd think...to use a little common sense and and respect, focusing on her and her 'situation' for now. (...and somewhere along the line you mentioned that you weren't even officially divorced yet, I believe  )
WHO you date and how old they are IS nobody's business but your own...except when the timing is wrong, inflicting hurt on someone you love. And in this particular case, I believe you should have used your head...first. As a mother.
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| Sep 11, 2006 @ 3:53 PM |
Dating life of a single parent... |
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ravensday
Posts: 388
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Ok my apologies...and I am working on a divorce...He is currently in Korea and its a little hard to divorce a soldier due to the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act. He has to agree to be divorced. And at this juncture he wants to stay married. He feels sorry for what he did, misses me, he wants to try again ( all the words I would have loved to have heard months ago)...blah blah blah!!! And if you read then you know HE LEFT ME. He cheated on me. He chose someone over me and the kids he proclaimed where his.
And as I said, I do not know if I want to keep on with this guy. Not because of my daughters prefrences but becuase of my own. I was trying to make a point. I guess I did not do a very good job at it.
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