| Sep 20, 2006 @ 4:10 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,833
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http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/thrive/2006/sep/19/091908393.html
So, would you or have you did this to any of your children?
I guess, if I saw a drastic change for the worse, I would first ask my child. I couldn't imagine having to do this though.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 4:15 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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I can see where some parents are driven to this. Kids can and do get out of control. You'd hope that just being able to communicate with them, talk to them about what and why, would help, but realistically, most of the time it doesn't.
My kids (son, 19; daughter, 17) know they have no right to privacy in my house. It's my house. If I feel I have a reason to look in a closet or a dresser or under a bed, I will. I haven't had to -- God willing, I won't -- but if I felt the need, I wouldn't hesitate.
MJ
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 4:42 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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uab_5
Posts: 4,886
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So what if you give your child the quiz and they fail? Do you send them off to nine weeks of rehab and waste beau coup dollers for a lesson they aren't ready to learn?
Do you treat your childs addiction as a disease or as a criminal offense? Ground them or educate and treat them?
Addicts are like any other psychologically ill person. They are not willing to change until life gets so miserable that change is the only option left to them.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 4:51 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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razzired
Posts: 2,922
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Well, you can't do anything until you know for sure. Information is power.
Even if you, as a parent, decide to do nothing (for some inexplicable reason), you at least know you're in denial about your own child.
MJ
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 4:59 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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uab_5
Posts: 4,886
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Personally, if I ever had a child who I suspected of drinking or drugging, I's drag them to a few dozen open AA or NA meetings to scare them stupid and pick up a white chip while they're at it.
And if they were still acting unique, I'd set up an appointment with a pdoc to see if they have the onset of bipolar or a behavior disorder.
The funny thing about drinkin' and druggin' . They both occurs at an age that many psych disorders kick in, so the drugs effects can mimic or intensify the psych problems.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 5:12 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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If my parents had done it, the situation would have become worse.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 5:14 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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lj450
Posts: 9,662
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The kids could always just get drunk......like the parents do.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 6:36 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,278
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We had two kinds of people in our house: the parents/adults and the kids/non-adults. Guess who was boss?  (I'm a firm believer in "double-standards" )
I would have used it IF NECESSARY...but it wasn't (knock on wood). I can actually give you the two dates one of them tried pot. I asked, he told (of course I validated his answers through subversive means  )
They were both pretty good at saying "no"...something that was encouraged in their school and (generally) respected among their peers -- and if worse came to worse, they were told to blame Mom. 
I sure would have like to use this on some of their friends/classmates and presented the evidence to the parents of their so-called "angels"  
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 6:44 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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Jankia
Posts: 12,602
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to the parents of their so-called "angels"
isnt that the truth!
I wouldnt break the family trust,if its bad and uncontrollable a good parent will know without testing.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 7:30 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,833
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Yes, the parents are the boss. The children need to abide by rules.
Jankia
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 7:50 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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Jankia
Posts: 12,602
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Thanks,I see it like this Katts...
After love,trust is the greatest feeling a family can have for each other.
Once trust is broken by a parent or a child its very difficult to regain it.
A child can break it by getting caught with drugs.
A parent can break it by testing.Once the child has been tested,regardless if it was a positive or a negative test,that child will wonder more about how much should mom and dad know about me.
That can be a cause for breakdown in communication,your kids wont be so willing to share there lives with you,and thats hard enough to get as it is.
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| Sep 20, 2006 @ 7:59 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,833
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Trust is the big one in my book. My boys needed to know they could trust ME. Then as they grow, they realize I am trusting them and it is great. Once a trust is broken, it can take a long time to get it back.
I am not saying my boys were angels, they just were not very good at lying.
So, they decided it was easier on them to just tell the truth. Momma has eyes in the back of her head ya know. 
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| Sep 21, 2006 @ 8:56 AM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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poniepower
Posts: 1,741
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I've had my 2 oldest daughters tested a couple yrs ago, and about a month ago I had my 15 y/o tested. She was in a car with 3 other 17 y/o's and the car got stopped by a deputy sherriff. I was called at 12:15 am to come to the cop shop and get her. When I looked at my alarm clock and it was 11:36 and her curfew is 11:30 and she wasn't home yet, I KNEW something was wrong.
So, when the phone rang, and the caller ID say PD, my heart about flew out of my chest. I went down to get her, the PO said they'd found pot in the glove box, in the backseat floor board in a gum box, a pipe, and the car smelled of pot. I asked the officer to give her a breathalizer right there. She passed. I asked him how I could get her tested to see if she'd smoked. He said I'd have to take her to the hospital to get a UA or a blood test.
So, off we went to the hospital! Didn't make it far out of town when she said the test would come up dirty. She told me that 2 wks prior, her and the same girl that had went to jail this evening, went out on back roads and smoked. She told me that the memories and thoughts of her brother were too intense and she needed to figure out how to stop thinking.
I told her she made the right choice,(in a sarcastic voice) because if they'd been in a car wreck, she may have NEVER thought again!!
I took her anyways to get tested, the test was dirty, and brought her home.
I then made her go into the police dept the next night and fill out a statement as to who's pot it was, and where she'd gotten it 2 wks ago.
If I suspect ANYONE of my children on drugs or suspect them of drinking underage, I'll have them tested. I'm not scared. I DON'T believe in it, and I sure as heck don't want them turning into alcoholics like I am. I'm a recovering one, for 4 yrs now, but still am. I started when I was 15 off and on for the w/e's and as an adult, the addiction got worse for me with alcohol.
My 15 y/o was grounded.
But............
she was grounded with me. She spent every waking moment with me. No phone, no computer, no friends over, pretty much no contact with the outside world.
Do I think she's still smoking pot, or trying illegal drugs.....NOPE.
She knows I"ll haul her little butt in.
As for the thoughts about Jason, she knows she can come to me anytime and talk to me about him. I'm messed up with my emotions alot of the time, but I'm still able to talk to the kids about what they're feeling.
OH, BTW...I do NOT believe in peer pressure either. My children have working minds, and they can make their own choices. So for them to blow smoke up my butt about peer pressure, they pretty much know it's a waste of their time.
I'll do it with my son too if needed. I would've done it with Jason also if I"d suspected it, but I never had too, I never suspected, his only vice in life was just that......LIFE...he loved it too much!!
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| Sep 21, 2006 @ 10:10 AM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents |
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sweet_n_small1
Posts: 753
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My 16 yo has smoked marijuana several times. I know this for a fact. I also know he was stealing it from his father. I took him to a counselor who just kept saying that alot of kids try pot..he himself did it when he was in college..etc. (not quite the help I was hoping for.)  My son's girlfriend does not like that he sometimes has done this. Even though he told us he hadn't done if for several months, the girlfriend was suspicious. She bought a test. It came out clean. If I suspect him of using drugs, I will not hesitate to pick up one of these tests.
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| Sep 21, 2006 @ 12:04 PM |
Some Teens Face Drug-Testing Parents
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zulamaze
Posts: 1,266
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I never tested my son, I asked him and he was honest
with me about it. He smoked a little grass when he was
in high school.
We both went to counseling for a while. He just rebelled
against me and the counselor. It made things worse.
I finally gave in and said smoke the shit if you really have to.
Things got better at home. A few years later he quit drinking
and smoking. The more you come down on them about it,
the worse it gets. I was lucky that eventually he saw my point
about it.
Not saying it was the right thing to do, but it was in our situation.
Try to be open and understanding of things even if you don't
approve, eventually they will get the message. We hope.
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