| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:38 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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RareQuestor
Posts: 2,652
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In recent years, we have seen a dramatic increase in the number of laws restricting where and when people can light up a cigarette. While I applaud anything that makes life harder for smokers, I think it would be more effective to provide incentives for people to not smoke at all. Accordingly, I propose that the following legislation be enacted immediately:
1. All cigarette taxes will immediately be increased 750%. (Yes, you read that right: Seven hundred and fifty percent.) Smokers will also be subject to a seventy-five percent increase in estate taxes, fifty percent increase in income taxes, and a twenty-five percent increase in all other taxes. These increases will be permanent regardless of whether a person quits smoking. The objective is not to raise additional revenue, but rather to make cigarettes so expensive that you will need a second mortgage on the house just to buy a pack.
2. All tobacco subsidies will be canceled immediately. Corporate taxes for any company involved in the manufacture or sale of cigarettes will be permanently increased one hundred and fifty percent. Financial incentives will also be instituted for any establishment that bans smoking on the premises.
3. All smokers and their dependents will immediately and permanently become ineligible for medical treatment. It does not matter whether it is emphysema or a broken leg: Doctors and hospitals will not be permitted to treat them.
4. NASA will immediately intensify efforts to colonize Mars so that smokers can emigrate and leave the Earth to those of us who actually value our lungs.
Resistance is futile: Tobacco will be destroyed. 
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:48 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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journeyfan0000
Posts: 814
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:49 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:52 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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Looks like a party.
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:53 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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Welcome to the party Sponge. 
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:53 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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irish20835
Posts: 1,224
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I proudly light my camel wide menthol and blow smoke in rare's general direction ....if he doesn't like it he can move ..btw us smokers keep the taxes down for the rest of you
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:57 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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Jankia
Posts: 11,909
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Whatcha got agin dem dependents...boy? 
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:58 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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Ya, what Jankia said.
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| Sep 23, 2006 @ 11:58 PM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:00 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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doncasto
Posts: 270
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*cough* . . ..*cough* . . ..anyone know the number for Nine One One? 
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:05 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I'm thinking you non smokers should pay for disability for us cough cough smokers like some alcoholics get.
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:06 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,629
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Ya what Spnge said.
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:08 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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Jankia
Posts: 11,909
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Hey! Sounds like a good idea to start up again Sponge. 
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:15 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:19 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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journeyfan0000
Posts: 814
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Resistance is futile: Tobacco will be destroyed.
I'm doing my best, but i only smoke one ciggy at a time 
Yep, just got rid of some more tobacco for ya, gonna light another one 
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:36 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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This is funny.............
And you guys are nutzzzzzzzzz.
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 12:56 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Rare said:
leave the Earth to those of us who actually value our lungs.
Hmmmmm ..... I wonder if you drive a car, or mow your lawn ..... Naaaah .... Your lungs are too important to do that .... 
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 1:11 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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DawolfLover
Posts: 568
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Thanks Rare. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Obviously you meant all of it as a joke, because I know you aren't really that dense.
Thanks again. 
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 1:16 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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He may be willing to give up rubber and plastics and all the goods created with them. Like his computer and the electricity generated for it by the nuclear power plant. NOwhere to burry the plutonium isnt a problem. it's those dam tobacco burners. I wonder if he has any more bright ideas?
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| Sep 24, 2006 @ 1:22 AM |
Anti-smoking legislation |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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I don't support any anti-smoking legislation.
How ridiculous, trying to restrict a legal substance.
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