| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:14 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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... YOU THINK DOM PERIGON IS A MAFIA LEADER 
...YOU THINK A MENSTRUAL CYCLE HAS THREE WHEELS 
best red neck one liner wins a cabin weekend in the ozarcs
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:28 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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How about the first prize being the promise of NOT having to spend a weekend in a cabin in the Ozarks 
Redneck Doorbell --
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:29 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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 they cracked me up
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:33 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:35 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:39 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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Redneck ugly date test: Does your dog hump her
leg with his eyes open, or shut?
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:47 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:47 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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...you mow your lawn, and find...a car!(My favorite, because I knew of someone like this)
...your dad walks you to school, because you're both in the same grade.
...the three toughest years of your life were...kindergarten.
...your porch collapses and kills at least three dogs.
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:49 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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steveemac
Posts: 2,335
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How about the first prize being the promise of NOT having to spend a weekend in a cabin in the Ozarks
Sunny, you're close, but it's actually that second prize is TWO weekends in the Ozarks, third prize is three weekends, etc.
BTW, that's a WISCONSIN doorbell!
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 9:53 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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Steve is is a weekend with me .. in the Ozarks
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 10:24 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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the only beer cooler you have is your bathtub filled with ice!
YES.....I had to do this for the girls' graduation party this last summer
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 12:29 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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IceDog
Posts: 153
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You have your new TV, sitting on top of your old TV.
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 12:34 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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if you think a Volvo is part of a womans anatomy
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 12:37 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. 
What does a redneck chick say after sex?
Get off me daddy, your crushing my smokes
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| Nov 22, 2006 @ 12:42 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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how can you tell if a redneck girl is a virgin>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>if she can outrun her brother and father
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| Nov 23, 2006 @ 6:54 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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Blondino
Posts: 4,553
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RedNeck Family Tree
Many many years ago when I was twenty-three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mom and it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she is my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!
(Banana Girl)
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| Nov 23, 2006 @ 8:56 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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Too funny...excellent though. Its hard enough to keep it all straight, but to make it rhyme too. 
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 11:58 AM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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albertafire
Posts: 241
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what do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room???
a full set of teeth.
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 12:44 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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you might be a redneck, if the directions to your home, include the words, "turn off of the paved road"
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| Nov 24, 2006 @ 1:05 PM |
You Might Be A Redneck If . . . |
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Jankia
Posts: 11,907
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You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
When someone shouts "Hoe-down!" and your girl hits the floor.
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