| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:25 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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GJAX57
Posts: 1,365
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do you believe once a cheat always a cheat? 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:28 PM |
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tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
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For the most part yes... but there are excpetions to every rule.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:30 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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GJAX57
Posts: 1,365
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tat, so you think one can change?
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:30 PM |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,338
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I'm not sure. I think that sometimes things are just so desperate and people are so unhappy that they make poor choices that they eventually have to pay for. I don't know that I could forgive it, but I also think sometimes it is a one time mistake. 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:36 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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MetryTechie
Posts: 1,442
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I think it depends on the person. Some people always have been and always will be cheaters. Some, I think, make mistakes in life and learn from them. My ex cheated on her husband when she was married. She did it on more than one occasion. Her reasoning, for which I do not condone, was that she was unhappy, both sexually and emotionally. I do honestly believe that she was loyal to me when we were together. I would surely sense if she wasn't. A mutual friend also reinforced this belief.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:48 PM |
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chinabull2000
Posts: 7,012
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Yup, once a cheat, always a cheat.
Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but I think it's a fairly safe bet!!
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 1:49 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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GJAX57
Posts: 1,365
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Metry, I'm not sure you can sense something like that, My ex was engaged to another while we were still married, never had a clue until a mutual friend told me. maybe I was just to trusting at the time or just plain Dumb  but I tell you, its ruined it for my other relationships because I question/doubt everything now and that SUCKS!!
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:07 PM |
thoughts on cheating! |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,338
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Hi China  I'd never cheat on you!! 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:14 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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We all have our own moral code we adhere to and we all stray from that code from time to time (not necessarily talking about cheating).
But if a person has a history of cheating and you think it's not gonna happen to you, well, I have some ocean front property in Oklahoma I want to sell! 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:16 PM |
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Angel178
Posts: 36,338
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I love Oklahoma!! 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:24 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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nightrider3281
Posts: 752
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no need to cheat, if you have to cheat get out first. Better to end it than cheat.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:28 PM |
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Dukums
Posts: 1,686
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If they were a cheater, and was honest about it to you...then that is probably a good sign that there has been a change...take a look to see if they have done things to take responsibility for their actions. Have they tried to make restitution to the person/s that they wounded by their actions. That will tell you if they were sincere in their change or if they were just sorry they got caught.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 2:44 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,621
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I don't think you can generalize...over the years I've been 'one of the guys' and generally knew who was fooling around. The ones who were tomcats are now single and still are tomcats, but at least they're honest about it now. The only one who really took it seriously got out of the first marriage and has been with the former girl friend for over ten years now (the first marriage broke up within a year), and all I ever hear is how grateful he is that he found her (he sits next to me at work, and trust me, I'd know if he didn't mean it!).
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 4:57 PM |
thoughts on cheating! |
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GJAX57
Posts: 1,365
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Nightrider, that is sooooooo how I feel about it, I asked my husband even after our divorce just to in my mind to get that closure, and he still denied that he cheated..grrrrrrrrr! now whats up with that? heard threw the grapevine later on that he cheat on his second wife, married a 3rd time and heard again hes divorced...oh well, all I can say is..his loss!! hmmmm....sorry for boring you good people, but it feels sooo good to kinda get this off my chest, even tho it happened some 25 years ago... 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 7:39 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,063
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Notice I said history of cheating. That doesn't mean once...that's over and over....
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 7:44 PM |
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VaPeppermintPatti
Posts: 140
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I'm a firm believer in...once a runner always a runner! Seems like many think that if they can get away with it once, regardless of the time frame, that they always think that they can do it again. I was married to a runner and turned a blind eye to it for years, but finally divorced him. Must say that the gal he's currently married to has had to deal with his running as well. TG her problem now and not mine.
And, no, I've never cheated or run on anyone...I believe in fidelity to the nth degree.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 7:48 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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My best friend is one of those guys who just could not remain faithful. After he met his current wife more than 10 years ago he had a couple of flings on the side but has settled in and has remained faithful for the last several years.
I think maturity has a lot to do with it.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 8:12 PM |
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Raiynth
Posts: 461
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I think once someone's crossed that line, it's much easier for them to cross it again.
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 8:53 PM |
thoughts on cheating!
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minky
Posts: 262
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I believe cheaters have a character flaw, not an easy fix 
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| Jan 20, 2007 @ 10:13 PM |
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poniepower
Posts: 1,733
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I think people can change. It only takes one "wake up call" in life to realize you can lose what you have.
Ask my X-hubby, he now regrets what he's done to his 5 children in the past because our marriage broke up because of his cheating. He lost 10 yrs of his kids' lives. He's now faithful to his girlfriend though.....go figure.
I also think alcohol and drugs have alot to do with unfaithfulness.
I agree with spongey too....maturity has alot to do with it.
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