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| May 3, 2007 @ 3:31 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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your_princess
Posts: 3,157
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So this is something I know many parents struggle with, and can often cause conflict between two parents on whether spanking should be allowed or not and if so on what terms...
I am a firm believer in spanking, not for everything a child does wrong but for a maximum consequence for their actions. I was spanked as a child and did not end up with self esteem issues, or felt humilated or fearful of my parents. Instead I respected adults and knew if I did something X-amount of times I could count on getting my ass paddled!
As a parent, I spank my own child...generally when it is something to do with his safety such as running out in the street, trying to climb into a car without an adult stuff like that. After one spanking he has not ran into the street since, when asked what happens if he goes into the street he simply says, "mama spank my butt and I could lots of ouchies." He is two. For most other stuff a Time out works just fine for us...however there are those times I do feel it is necessary!
So what do you believe?
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| May 3, 2007 @ 3:45 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 6,745
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Touchy subject in today's world, all I know is I got spanked as a kid, and I never repeated that stuff, and I never felt "beaten" or "abused", so in my exp. it worked.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 4:27 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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Loreli
Posts: 20,319
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Hate to tell you this, but this was brought up in the parent thread, and it sparked some ugly confrontation...just a heads up.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 4:30 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I was spanked as well and so far I haven't killed anyone. However the day ain't over yet.
I see it more as an attention getter than punishment.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 4:48 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,360
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I see it more as an attention getter than punishment.
That's how I used it with my kids - it was a prelude to the talk about what happened, and it meant, yep, this is serious, and like your_princess, it generally related to safety in some form or other. I've always tried to choose my battles, even with my kids. There's a huge difference between a spanking and abuse.
I think I turned out okay, but being the daughter of an alcoholic mother, I know what it can be like (beaten bloody with a stick because I dropped a dish one time, for example). I think I survived it because Ma Jekyll (my sober, loving mom) was around a lot more than Ma Hyde (the one she turned into when she was drunk). If a parent is reasonably well-balanced themselves, it's not going to be a major issue; it's the ones who use it to vent anger about other things that are the main problem I think.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 5:52 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,310
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I firmly agree with spanking, for being totally out of line. I have no kids of my own, and I have never had to spank anyone else's, ( but I would never let them know I would never do it ).
Now,their Mom on the other hand........  
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| May 3, 2007 @ 7:06 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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your_princess
Posts: 3,157
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I realize it will strike a big debate, but thats kind of what I was looking for. I enjoy listening to other peoples opinions...USUALLY!!
I never spank if I am angry, that is a line i do not want to cross. Granted when my son ran into the middle of the street with a car coming he got his butt spanked right there. It would do me no good to do it later on once in the house. I was sure DHS was going to be at my door at some point that week, from the looks I got.
I saw a woman spank her child in the store one day, and another customer called the cops for child abuse. A simple spank because she would not listen after she was told and told to stop, she ended up having to go to rail and child to be examined...that is what is so scary about actually trying to discipline your child in public! Often when going shopping mine starts to act up and he often will get taken out of the cart and sat on the floor for his 2 minute time out, and for that I get harsh looks. I would rather get those harsh looks than the ones parents get when their child is completely out of control....
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| May 3, 2007 @ 7:50 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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I firmly agree with a firm spanking. What I don't agree with is hitting, beating or punching. I don't agree with any kind of "psychological warfare" against a child.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 10:05 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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bryan2992
Posts: 688
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I agree there is a LARGE difference between spanking and abuse.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 10:06 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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Eldermint
Posts: 114
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I don't have to worry about it anymore; either one of them can knock me silly. But they don't. They were spanked when what they were doing something that physically endangered them or someone else. Only then.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 10:24 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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stormy73
Posts: 1,164
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Spank... PERIOD!
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| May 3, 2007 @ 10:40 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,088
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i wasn't spanked...and i turned out fine.
i don't believe in it..all the kids i knew who were spanked were the ones who hit the other kids in preschool. just sayin'.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 10:49 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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jld3377
Posts: 1,069
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I agree with spanking when warranted. If it is done minimally, a child will realize the behavior associated with it must be extrememly wrong opposed to using it for every misbehavior.
I have some friends that are trying the 1-2-3 Magic approach to discipline. I have noticed a markable difference in the behavior of one child specifically.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:01 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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I was spanked as a child, and I can't say whether it had any positive or negative effect.
Mostly, I take away privileges, or special toys, as time-outs have not worked, but grounding is becoming a big thing now.
Spanking, in my house, is not abusive......it is a mere smack on the tush to get her attention when I need her attention immediately, and she's too busy throwing a tantrum to hear me. I suppose that means it's an attention getter, huh? Oh.....and she gets warnings too, before we get to the hand on tush action. 
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:05 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,310
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Not sure of the 1-2-3 magic, but I do know counting works............If you get to 5 ( or what ever your cut off is ) and they don't respond, They made the choice of their consequences. And that my friends is one life's most important lessons. The true secret is to follow through, everytime, if you restart your count ..............just once they will always push to see if you are serious this time.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:07 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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My ex used to count but that fell apart about the time her oldest finished her count for her and ran to bed. 
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:13 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Oh.....or they try to hide their butt...still gotta follow through or they push farther the next time. Counting is the warning I spoke of...and three is my cut off. These days, we are sometimes laughing because of the tussle to uncover her bottom. Fine by me, the smack is not meant to hurt but to indicate a seriousness.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:15 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,310
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Tough love sucks for all involved, but it works..........when done properly.
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:17 PM |
To spank, or not to spank....
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Empath
Posts: 5,094
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Yeah. You should hear the sigh of relief that escapes me when it finally gets through.
(atleast I think it's a sigh...  )
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| May 3, 2007 @ 11:20 PM |
To spank, or not to spank.... |
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blueyes101
Posts: 8,310
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I'm sure she feels the same way
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page:
<<
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of 4 pages
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