| Jul 17, 2007 @ 6:50 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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southerngentleman700
Posts: 1,721
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QUESTION.........CAN YOU TRY TO HARD,OR PUT TO MUCH EFFORD TO MAKE A RELATINSHIP WORK THAT ACTUALLY BACKFIRES AND GOES ALL WRONG?????GUESS ONE THING IAM ASKING CAN YOU BE TO GOOD TO SOMEONE...... 
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 6:59 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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EyesofBlue72660
Posts: 13,047
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I don't think it's a matter of being too good to someone. It could just be that one's actions are being perceived as they are trying too hard to make things come out right. A relationship needs to be nurtured - not herded or forced. A solid relationship needs to have a good base........this usually takes some time to build.
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 7:06 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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signme
Posts: 12,586
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When I first met my b/f back in Dec, he bent over backwards to give me my way in everything. I finally said something about it and now I have to fight to get anything my way!!
Yes you can try too hard and yes it may backfire on you. I think that's where good communication between parties comes in. It really does help if you can talk things out. It may not make a difference in the long run, but at least both know where they stand.
So now I'm confused...  Did I answer the question or prove it null and void??? 
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 7:10 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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southerngentleman700
Posts: 1,721
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I think you did a very good job answering the question........thanks........
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 7:13 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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Pinkpassion35
Posts: 94
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Oh yes, can put your all into making things work...and it goes very wrong....leaving you bewildered and confused
makes you doubt your ability to sustain a relationship with anyone...unfortunately 
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 7:52 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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dooney123
Posts: 3,511
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You can't be too good to someone, but you can force something that isn't right. That's not good for either person. If you're not being yourself in order to make the other person happy, that's a huge problem, and the relationship won't work in the long run. You need to be yourself, and the person will either accept you for who you are or you should move on.
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 7:53 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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GUESS ONE THING IAM ASKING CAN YOU BE TO GOOD TO SOMEONE
Sure you can! And they will take advantage of you. there are plenty of people who wait in the wings to use and abuse.
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD,OR PUT TO MUCH EFFORD TO MAKE A RELATINSHIP WORK THAT ACTUALLY BACKFIRES AND GOES ALL WRONG
Dont force it! it is what it is. Forcing a relationship is one that will never last. Trust me I know. When looking at a relationship try to keep these thoughts in mind.
"You get what you give"
Respect me and I will give unto you.
JMO of course 
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 8:04 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 2,225
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Yes, you can try too hard. It can become a little creepy. If you obsess on the person, pay too much attention and do not allow them the space that they need, then it can begin to border on stalking.
Even if you do not go to extremes, some people are very uncomfortable with someone who is overly generous. Some people are very independent or private and they can come to resent those who try to push forward a relationship.
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 8:18 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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Silvertongue62
Posts: 6,932
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Yes, you can try too hard. It can become a little creepy. If you obsess on the person, pay too much attention and do not allow them the space that they need, then it can begin to border on stalking.
Even if you do not go to extremes, some people are very uncomfortable with someone who is overly generous. Some people are very independent or private and they can come to resent those who try to push forward a relationship.
Food for thought! 
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 9:02 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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RoverClover
Posts: 71
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I dont have enough to go on by this? give us the dirt I needs some details.
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 9:09 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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SG-
Sometimes one person in a relationship tries very hard, even not needing to.
All we can do is take one day at a time, and get a feel for another person's "space".
Real love will prevail.
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| Jul 17, 2007 @ 9:12 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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SpiritOrnery
Posts: 24,150
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Yes, you can try too hard. If you are not doing what makes YOU happy, you are not being honest. If you do it just to please someone, you are appeasing them and that will eventually backfire. Someone will eventually get resentful. I know from previous experiences.
If you hold on too tight, you can suffocate the other person. If you do too much, you can weaken the other person. Allow them to do things for themselves. Let them ASK for things. If they are unable to ask, then it will most likely have a problem there and these issues should be addressed early on if both are still interested in continuing the relationship.
Ask for things you wish that does not seriously limit them. If you start putting bondaries (on them) they are not allowed to pass, you will rule and control them til the relationship is killed.
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 1:13 AM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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sweet5red
Posts: 9,703
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ok im gona say this... i have been single/divorced 8 and 1/2 years now.. most know that i hate being single.. BUT i had rather be alone and single than with the wrong person.. then everyone says YOU are looking too hard.. well yes i write people and either get rejected or no response.. well they say stop looking.. well i go to work and home and occasionaly take my self out to dinner.. well if i dont stay out there and keep looking whats Mr Right gonna do knock on my door?? I just get fed up with the whole dating scene.. so i dont know anymore.... Sweet N Louisiana
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 1:38 AM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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trying too hard... wow... the sad thing is we are taught to work hard for things we value, that there is a struggle, and then we appreciate it
the problem is relationships are the opposite.... if we try too hard, we either are taken advantage of, or worse... it becomes unattractive.... playing hard to get works for guys too.... never be too available... remember the lesson of the two year old.... screaming for what is just out of reach.... relationships and people work the same way....
it's kind of sad....
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 2:08 AM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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ISSUESWOPTIONS
Posts: 8,070
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Ummm.... YES!
You end up trying too hard when you try showing the person who you can be, instead of who you are.
This usually happends due to feeling so damn good about the person and you forget the little things that truly matter. Most of all...moderation....
You look up, and then she is gone....reason? You are too good for her and she can't deal...
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 3:15 AM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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SensualGemini
Posts: 6,889
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...Normally, once you become predictable, the mystery is gone. In a new relationship, that often means she is gone.
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 3:55 AM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,559
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in memory of Sweet Red's habit of songs fitting threads
Pfft, You Were Gone
Buck Owens And Roy Clark -
Now here on the farm the weather gets messy
Layin? around with nothin? to do
When you went away, you took my cow Bessy
I miss her, Darlin?, more than I miss you
You took off your leg, your wig and your eyeglasses
And you should have seen the look on my face
I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you
But you were scattered all over the place
(Chorus:)
Where, oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and I thought I found true love
You met another and, Pffft, you were gone
I know that you love me, here?s my way of knowin?
The clothes hangin? right there on the line
When I see the snow and feel the wind blowin?
Your not just huggin' those long johns tonight
The noises you made at our supper table
Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd
But how many times do I have to tell you
Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard
(Chorus)
Remember you phoned me a sobbin? and cryin?
The dog bit your maw and drug her around
You said she looked pale and thought she was dyin?
I said ?don?t worry, I?ll buy a new hound?
I had six kids and you had eleven
And we had 8 more and they grew like flowers
I wish you?d come back, without you ain?t heaven
Cause your kids and my kids are beaten up ours
(Chorus)
I searched the world over and I thought I found true love
You met another and Pffft you were gone
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 6:12 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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Sunbabie
Posts: 10,117
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Awwwww Grumble I miss Sweet too. She's an awesome person, I really hope she comes back.
Dooney and I think exactly alike on this one .... see her post above.
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 6:21 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD???
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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you can try too hard to where the person is OVERWHELMED and feels pushed /rushed OBLIGATED to love back equally.. and sometimes one persons love matures slower than the other and things get misconstrued and then things get wonky... a better plan would be to communicate and try to understand if someone NEEDS to go slower ... like me I have my family to consider , I need to go slower...I will not toss my family into a situation that will just hurt them if it eventually fails... I know some people take those who need to go slower as being standoffish but those are usually ones who do not have OTHERs to consider in the mix... Huggs to all that need them right now and those trying to GROW TOGETHER but a good relationship grows like a flower slowly a piece at a time till the final bloom is breathtaking 
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| Jul 18, 2007 @ 6:34 PM |
CAN YOU TRY TO HARD??? |
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KAOS2007
Posts: 8,201
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QUESTION.........CAN YOU TRY TO HARD,OR PUT TO MUCH EFFORD TO MAKE A RELATINSHIP WORK THAT ACTUALLY BACKFIRES AND GOES ALL WRONG?????GUESS ONE THING IAM ASKING CAN YOU BE TO GOOD TO SOMEONE
Yep, they get bored and either cheat or walk all over ya.... seen it time and again. If you're not both putting in the same effort, it's a waste of time.
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