| Mar 29, 2008 @ 11:26 AM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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OK-
this is to discuss how it "makes you feel", not how to handle it when:
You've disagreed with a person in threads of interest.
The person is hateful, insulting, name calling. Many people see it, the venom is aimed at YOU. Constantly.
or
There is an individual like that often, with select individuals. It's easy to see by others besides yourself.
or
You post a blog.
An individual reads your blog, posts horrible, hateful responses. Maybe you delete them-maybe you leave them up for people to see what kind of person that is.
Now-
You received horrible emails from one that treats you horribly.
You report them.
Save the mail.
Block.
The offender is still here.
How does that make you feel?
(just curious....it isn't happening to me! Just making another place to TALK about it.)
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 11:33 AM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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It would make me feel like no one cared. If I sent the abuse to MD, and I would hope they would take care of said person. Other wise I would think seriously of leaving.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 11:59 AM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Let down. But then I remember. Like life its not an exclusive club.
once I said all i had to said, I feel releaved. What happens afterwards doesnt matter. Moving on does.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 12:09 PM |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,041
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Moving on AND letting go.
Sometimes hard to do, but necessary.
And these are only words that people send, but it hurts sometimes, too.
I've had an email or two that has made me cry, but I talked to someone about them and it no longer bothers me.
If someone receives something that makes the sad or mad, please talk to a friend about it. It helps..
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 12:11 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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I know when I first came here, a group of us got into trouble for chatting too much. People got banned for up to 6 months.
Now, I'm glad the Mods aren't as stinky about that now....
But when a good topic is raised, and (for instance) I want to participate in it, but a person or two is out of control and mean, I just leave.
There's a handful of people here that have stated they will not go into religion or politics...I just wish people wouldn't feel that way!
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 12:30 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Its not good for busniess to keep throwing people out. Yet the bans still do happen.Six months is a killer. Two things happen. They change their isp and sneak in or just never give Matchdoctor the second chance that md will offer them. So prehaps matchdoctor has learned that instead of 6 months a few day in the cool off booth is suficant. I also beleave its a case by case basis.
Look at chat. Its a shell of what it was. At anygiven time there would be well over 50 to 75 people chating on it. Now as of recent it has started a come back yet nothing to what it used to be.
One thing is clear. Matchdoctor loves its members as much as most of its members love md.
I agree. Its the friends that help make it possible to remain here during the time you may be the focus of something assholeish.
I guess what Im trying to say is. I love Matchdoctor, and my friends I have made here. And nothing is ever gona change that.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 12:34 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,041
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I guess what Im trying to say is. I love Matchdoctor, and my friends I have made here. And nothing is ever gona change that.
I have met the most awesome people here.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 12:36 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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Loreli, when a topic goes off topic, I try to get it back on most of the time. I tend to jump over the nonsense posts to either try to post on the topic or to bring back the original topic. If that doesn't work, I have been known to start another one with the same question so it can be discussed.
Then again, I am probably one of the culprits here,, 
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 1:43 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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TiNkErGrRrRrR
Posts: 13,813
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Those abusive people Loreli have major problems of their own and taking their abuse out on others here in the forums is their way of ..how can I say it..easing their own burdens perhaps..instead of getting angry back one should feel sorry for them instead. No killing them with kindness doesn`t work. Just ask me, I`ve learned my lesson on that one. No matter how nice you can be to someone they will never give up their abusive ways towards you or anyone else.
I used to say it didn`t matter to me what they said or did..but deep down it really does. I can admit that now since I no longer participate here as often as I used too..I still read a lot of threads and well..some things will never change.
Tink
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 1:57 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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I am one of those that refuses to go back into the political/religion forums. Got too ugly for me. I am here to learn and have fun, not get slammed because I ask a question that others seem to think I should know.  Yes, it did hurt my feelers, and make me cry.
That being said, there have been a lot more times when I was supported and made to feel loved. 
The fighting in other threads, has forced me to not go to them hardly at all anymore. I rarely leave General Talk or the Indiana threads anymore. 
I do my best not to hurt anyones feelings, but I'm sure I have somewhere along the line.
I am one of the biggest offenders of getting off topic.  I tend to look at the threads as a continuous conversation, that leads to other things.  That may be why I stay in the threads that I do.  I know "chatting" is allowed there.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:04 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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sciurusniger
Posts: 2,958
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People who are deliberately disruptive, mean, or cruel to others online are merely telling us they have serious issues. They are letting some kind of fear fuel their ego, and once you walk down the spiral of emotions their behavior causes, when you reach the bottom there is nothing but pity. While they serve as rather a research specimen for those who like to "people watch", they are best reported, blocked, and put on permanent ignore, regardless what MD chooses to do about them.
Certainly being ignored is the last thing they want, but as has been said, there are none so blind as those who will not see and I, for one, don't waste my time on them. Life is too big, too full of truly worthy things to do and relationships to make and sustain to let a few small, frightened people cause even a ripple in my overall happiness.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:12 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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I do understnad why some people don't go to certain forums, but me being who I am, I won't let other people dictate to me what and where I can post.
I have to say, they are really pretty kind to me in the Political forums. Most of the time I learn from the people that know their stuff in there. It makes me go looking for more info.
The Religion and Spirit board is where I had problems. I have learned to ignore, the posts that do nothing but cause problems in there. I have learned so much from quite a few in there too and that too makes me go in search of more answers.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:14 PM |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 18,602
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Personally, I feel like a dumbazz when I get pulled into something like that. It's pretty rare that I get very involved in a thread, but we all have our hot buttons and when someone happens to hit one of mine I can lash out, then regret even bothering later. I really need to remember that you can't fix stupid, and just go on my way. They may think the same of me, but that's okay too.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:22 PM |
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Tunes4u
Posts: 308
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I never get to have any fun!
I very seldom see all these things that are being discussed here......
I try to get around the site and sometimes look for some of these problems, but I guess I just don't have any luck at all.
I'm gonna go look some more.
I think maybe I am the guy who likes to slow down and look at the wreck, but am glad I wasn't involved.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:23 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Yep, Katt-I know you have tried to change the direction of a thread when it got ugly. I've tried, also. Did YOU get emailed and told to quit policing the forums?
I did, and I thought it was amusing....it's been awhile ago. I just don't post as much....I'm busy shaking my head and laughing at (sometimes intelligent) stupidity!
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:48 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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missliss78
Posts: 5,189
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I had a problem one time here on the site that I counted on MatchDoctor to stand behind me & their rules but they did not & I was exceptionally disappointed at the time.
There was a fella I met here on the site who lives about 15 minutes away from me. We chatted on-line for quite a bit, then he gave me his number & I called him some. He seemed okay. I gave him my number &, with that he knew my whole name. As conversation continued, we had a very brief meeting. Following this brief meeting, which was okay, he started acting very jealous. I decided this was not the type of individual I wanted any dealings with & I politely indicated to this to him.
This happened during the time I used to chat here on a regular basis, though this man had never participated in chat before. When I rejected him, he came to chat & said some very bad things about me...just to be vindictive. Of course, the people in chat stood up to him about it. But the worse was when he posted my full name & telephone number NUMEROUS times in the chat room.
This is in clear violation of chat rules. As a matter of fact, in the rules, it was (and probably still is)written in red that to do such as this man did would call for immediate, permanent banning from the site.
I, along with several other people, reported this man for posting my personal information in the chat room. MatchDoctor's decision was to send him an email & warn him against doing such again in the future. 
Needless to say, at the time, I was quite upset. It still bothers me to this day, but as I had no further repercussions from the incident, I got over it.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 2:58 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,625
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Did YOU get emailed and told to quit policing the forums?
Darn it, no I didn't!! Bummer.
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 4:32 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,398
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Aw, Miss...
there's no excuse for adults to behave that way....how childish!
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 4:48 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people
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signme
Posts: 12,578
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I don't go into the politics or religion threads just because I feel those topics are private for me. I don't need to discuss my political leanings or my religion with others. I try to get along with everyone in here but I have seen what Lori is talking about. I try to ignore those who have to have all the attention even if it means being rude to someone. If you don't give them the attention they crave, hopefully they will go elsewhere!
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| Mar 29, 2008 @ 7:50 PM |
abusive posts/abusive mail/abusive people |
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daisy315
Posts: 4,946
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I try to stay out of the politics forum. Thee are a couple of folks there that bash democrats so badly and sometimes get so viscious that it makes me sad that they could stoop so low to use the hateful words they use. So, I just stay away from those 2 or 3 people in any forum..
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