| May 5, 2008 @ 6:23 AM |
Who should pay?
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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When you are in a Long Distance Relationship, and the time comes for one of the parties to move?
I am getting ready to move 1,000 miles. It is going to cost around $2,000.00 to do this. (Rental truck, gasoline, motels)
He is wanting to help, I am having a hard time accepting it, being as independent as I am, and always have been. I have never been with a man that has ever helped me, it has been just the opposite, I have pulled them out of debt. How do I now accept his help without feeling like I am a "taker"?
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| May 5, 2008 @ 6:38 AM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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Luvvy you are pulling up stakes to be with him right?? think of it this way ...if he was moving to you would you help him if he needed it?? I know you would... so dear one accept his help if offered ... and revel in the fact he WANTS to do this for you .. so many people do for others and never do for themselves... and when a person loves another doing for them is part of the package .. let him do it k?? 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 6:43 AM |
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NawtiKitty
Posts: 323
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I agree with Becky...although I'd be grumping about accepting the $$ or help
But take it..
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| May 5, 2008 @ 6:45 AM |
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InDaGenes
Posts: 38
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you acknowledge the fact that he is wanting to assist to get you to him....accept with grace and look forward to being there
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| May 5, 2008 @ 7:12 AM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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Thank you ladies.
Yes Becky, I am the one pulling up stakes. He has not only offered, but is insisting. You are right, I would want to help him if he were moving here. Just didn't think about it that way  .
He had me in tears last night, telling me how much he wanted to help, and we are WE now. He said so many sweet words, no man has EVER been like this with me, and I just don't know how to accept it.  I will try though. Like Kitty said, I will be grumpy about it though. 
InDa, oh HOW I am looking forward to it. 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 7:18 AM |
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beckyiv42000
Posts: 14,576
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OH btw MISSMISS.. ahem... didnt a someone give me the same advice a while back 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 7:21 AM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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 Uhhh.... MAYbeeee. 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 7:40 AM |
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InDaGenes
Posts: 38
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and so you should..... 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 8:04 AM |
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graywolf
Posts: 44,535
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luv, Accept his offer and do it with an open heart just as he is intending it. It is one of his showing you how much he wants to be with you. I know it is often easier to give than recieve but think about how hurt he might be if you refused his offer.
You have found the right man and from what you have written he certainly has the right attitude. Remember what he said, there is no longer a you and me but now a we, sit back relax and enjoy the love.  Look ofrward to meeting you both soon.
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| May 5, 2008 @ 8:18 AM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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how much he wants to be with you. That is one of the things he told me last night that started the tears. Happy tears!
Thank you Gray, and we can't wait to meet you soon too! 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 8:27 AM |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 17,992
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yes...yes...yes!!
Let him help you and quit trying to be so darn independent! I mean you CAN still drive the moving truck if you want...right??
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| May 5, 2008 @ 8:41 AM |
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luvmycats
Posts: 10,208
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I mean you CAN still drive the moving truck if you want...right?? 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 8:52 AM |
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happygrlok
Posts: 7,547
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luv, you have a man standing there with his arms wide open saying come home. Does it really matter who's money is used? When you are together will you be dividing the money up? This is his money and this is my money? I don't think so. So you are starting now with sharing. Enjoy this man and the love you two have found. God Bless you both.
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| May 5, 2008 @ 10:10 AM |
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Makya
Posts: 1,131
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You can't let him feel some type of way either. He's probably insisting because he may feel its the least he can do since you are making the move for him. His concious might eat him up if he doesn't help some kind of way, don't do that to him. 
I know what you mean about not being used to that kinda help cause its usually the other way around,  but wouldn't a change be nice? To finally be with someone as equally able and willing to give as you.
I really genuinely wish you guys the best. Come on and show me not to be scared to possibly do the same. 
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| May 5, 2008 @ 11:05 AM |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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I agree with everybody-take it.
He would probably feel bad if you didn't!
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| May 5, 2008 @ 11:10 AM |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 22,628
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Well now, I say he is trying to help you right? That is a lot of money for most people and since you need it, take it.
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| May 5, 2008 @ 11:28 AM |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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Happy said:
luv, you have a man standing there with his arms wide open saying come home. Does it really matter who's money is used? When you are together will you be dividing the money up? This is his money and this is my money? I don't think so. So you are starting now with sharing. Enjoy this man and the love you two have found. God Bless you both.
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| May 5, 2008 @ 11:46 AM |
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happygrlok
Posts: 7,547
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ty mom......I believe in love....  ....and sharing... .....it does not matter who has the most money......
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| May 5, 2008 @ 12:07 PM |
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mailorderannie
Posts: 6,021
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Okay, here's how I see it.....a relationship is like being on a teeter-totter.
As a couple, there are times that each person is the "helper." We each bring different ways to take care of the other, and we just do it without asking.
I'm sure you will do hundreds of little things each day to help him and won't even see it as "help". This is his way of helping you, and accepting that help IS an important way to not only ALLOW him to love you but to be who he truly is.
You are having a problem with it because its $, and most women do. Try to think of it as another expression of love, because that's essentially what it is.
And do you realize how lucky you are to have this. Shoot g/f, start basking in it because you deserve this!
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| May 5, 2008 @ 12:07 PM |
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lazareth
Posts: 1,473
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i paid when I moved. but I only had to rent a small trailer to put my stuff in , most everything else I either gave away in NC or just left it in the house
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