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Woman Law


May 17 @ 11:18 PM Woman Law    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 9,940
This is from a Facebook group. I thought you guys would get a laugh:

1. No wasted cosmopolitans in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the female have to pay for condoms.

3. If your best friend is dumped by a guy, he is off limits. If she breaks up with him, he is still off-limits.

4. If two or more females arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving female is hooking up with a guy, it is the responsibility of that female to hook up her friend/friends with his friends.

5. Coochie cutters have been banned.. regardless of participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also, all women should pop their collars.

6. Every woman is allowed to bring up to 4 females to the bathroom with them, regardless of how many stalls are in the restroom.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officially dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the girl cheats with a guy that is less attractive to the one she is originally interested in then she is either... A) Drunk or B) Whore. This then gives the original guy the right to either get mad or clown the hell out you.

In case where woman is A) Drunk, she should still be considered B) Whore.

8. No one should ever spill a woman's drink without getting her a new one...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When a woman tells a guy that she is on birth-control, it is her responsibility to make sure she has not missed her daily-dosage.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. If this should occur, wash the sheets and make the bed.

11. No woman shall ever use a rolling backpack. This is worse than wearing a fanny-pack.

12. If another woman's fly is down, you must tell her immediately and DISCREETLY.

13. When a woman is borrowing clothes or makeup from another, if the borrower does any damage to these items, she is required to do one of the following: If the item is under 50 bucks- replace it. If the item is over 50 bucks- replace it.

14. When your friend picks up a hot guy...however the hot guy has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing woman doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your girl have some time alone with the hot guy, and to also keep your eye out for a group of hotter guys.

15. Riding shotgun is not important. Whichever girl calls it first, gets it, no questions asked.

Addendum to Woman-Law 15:
If one woman's hair requires the front seat, the others should willingly sacrifice shotgun. Also, smokers should not ride shotgun.

16. Women are too mature to settle disputes with paper rock scissors. Women should resolve any issues with educated reasoning.

17. When toasting with martini's be careful of the clank, spillage may occur.

18. Fingers should never be placed into the neck of your bottled beer.

19. A hug is an acceptable way to greet all of your girls.

20. If a woman is on vacation to any state or country, it is considered cheating. Don't be a dirty slut.

21. A woman can mastrubate as many times as she chooses in a day.

22. A woman should not wear any article of men's clothing, unless sleeping over at his house. Men's Whitey Tighties are off limits under any circumstances.

23. No woman under any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should have a whale tail.

24. A woman should never be denied the right to perk up her boobs, under any circumstance.

26. All women have the right to choose- vegetarian or not. Also, every woman has the right to try one fad-diet at least once.

27. Every woman is required to learn some form of Poker before she dies.

28. If a woman ever does something wrong, she is not required to admit it, period.

29. No woman should ever hook up with her best friend's guy, no matter how hot he is. This is in effect indefinitely. Refer to Law 3 for proper way to handle this situation. Side Advice: If he comes on to you, you should pour the nearest drink on him and alert your friend immediately.

30. Under no circumstance, should any woman hate on another woman's attempt to get some ass. Please note that hating will result in a suspension of your Woman status and its priviledges, and will result in the title Hatin'-ass-bitch.

31. Every woman should watch Sex and the City at least once a week, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold her own in any debate on sex that may arise that day.

32. No woman should hit a man for no reason without expecting negative reprecussions. Spanking and dominating in the bedroom is permitted. No woman should hit a child ever, under ANY circumstances.

33. No woman should ever be ordered to serve a man food or drinks. A woman should only do this out of the kindness of her heart.

34. No woman shall ever watch a Girls Gone Wild video, ever.

35. Men can't drive.

36. In the court of Woman Law the statement "I was Drunk" will not have the same effect as an insanity plea. You are responsible for your decisions, and knowing your limit.

37. If any female is caught violating a Woman Law in serious context, as a form of punishment she should be disowned of her womanly name, only to receive the title of "Dumb Bitch" from her peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law or sincereity of the offender...or buying a round of shots for the offended peers as a token of respect to what is womanly...and what is not.
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May 17 @ 11:26 PM Woman Law    
whatagal


Posts: 790
Men's Whitey Tighties are off limits under any circumstances.

The damned things should be banned!!
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May 18 @ 12:47 AM Woman Law    
ash_is_unforgetable


Posts: 837
23. No woman under any circumstance, unless mocking a violator of this law, should have a whale tail.

This might be a stupid question but what is a whale tail mean? -Ash
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May 18 @ 12:47 AM Woman Law    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 9,940
Exposed thong
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May 18 @ 1:57 AM Woman Law    
tahoma


Posts: 10,278
Men's Whitey Tighties are off limits under any circumstances

The damned things should be banned!!

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May 18 @ 11:26 AM Woman Law    
kattsmeow


Posts: 20,887
6. Every woman is allowed to bring up to 4 females to the bathroom with them, regardless of how many stalls are in the restroom.
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May 18 @ 12:07 PM Woman Law    
malexand


Posts: 31
Could someone explain #5?
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May 18 @ 12:26 PM Woman Law    
Jalon


Posts: 794
32. No woman should hit a man for no reason without expecting negative reprecussions. Spanking and dominating in the bedroom is permitted. No woman should hit a child ever, under ANY circumstances.

Don't let YB see this one.
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May 18 @ 12:46 PM Woman Law    
LipGlossQueen9


Posts: 9,940
coochie cutters are really, extremely tight short shorts that show every curve and crevice of a woman's nether regions and butt crack.
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