| Jun 7, 2008 @ 4:48 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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stormy73
Posts: 1,181
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The phone rang early this afternoon. I looked at the caller ID box and saw that it was some sorry-assed telemarketer. I picked up the receiver, and loudly said(Ennunciating as best I could), "AHZAH!! AHZAH!!!" They immediately hung up! 
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 6:44 PM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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Laidback742
Posts: 4,679
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I answer the phone.
Me: Hello?
Them: Is this Michael?
Me: No, hang on a second.
Them: OK
I put the phone down and ignore it. They eventually hang up.
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 7:00 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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parrothead1234
Posts: 712
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Years ago, when I still worked the night shift, the phone rang at 9 a.m. - which is like 3 a.m. to a first shifter.
For some unknow reason, I answer the phone.
"Hello, is the lady of the house in?"
In my low, scratch, "I haven't had my first cup of coffee" voice I said - "Your talkin' to her"
"Errrrr....uhmm......ahhhhh.....uhmmmm"
At which point I hung up the phone.
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 8:59 PM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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nurse4u92
Posts: 16
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I have picked up the phone and just start pressing buttons in their ears
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 9:12 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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Loreli
Posts: 25,408
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My ex Father in law got a call from someone trying to sell him survivor benefits.
He said No thanks.
They said Don't you want your wife to be taken care of when you're gone?
He said he77 no- she'll be out bangin the neighbor before I'm buried.
Dead silence
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 9:23 PM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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BandTMom
Posts: 38,059
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This is the all time greatest:
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron,
please?
ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5
minutes thinking that, surely, this person would
have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to
my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they
were still waiting.
ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron.
We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's
amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly,
monthly or just one big one at the end of the year
for the full $52,560? And if you send an annual
check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That
comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing
how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you.
You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying
that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give
YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
subliminal telemarketing scheme?? I've read
about things like this in the Inquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a
supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeth?
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite
understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It
was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I
had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No,
actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back
to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you
back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you. I was on hold once again and
managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this
conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated
but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are
interested in signing up for our plan?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that
"Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only
child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
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| Jun 7, 2008 @ 11:09 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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ThangelM8
Posts: 2,503
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I try to sell them something; such as shoes, bullet proof glass.......etc!!
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 3:45 AM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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MOM - I LOVE THAT! I haven't seen that in quite a while now, but it ALWAYS sends me to the floor in stitches! Thanks!
As far as OTHER fun with telemarketers, there was an instance when I was a teenager when I walked into the house and saw my dad on the phone. He put his finger to his lips to tell me "Shhhhh" and then spoke into the phone: "Oh, were you looking for MISTER V., well he just walked in." And then he handed the phone to me. I gave him a quizzical look, and he motioned for me to take the phone.
The telemarketer on the other end starter her little spiel all over again. Did I say LITTLE spiel? It was a good 15 minutes long, and, with my crazy father watching me with this big grin on his face, I listened to every word. And, of course, the telemarketers do NOT take a breath; they don't want to be interrupted. So, when she finally finished and was asking me to "say yes" to whatever the offer was, I politely asked, "Did you say you wanted to talk to MISTER V.? That's my father. Hold on and I'll get him."
I passed the phone back to dad, he said hello - and she started her pitch ALL OVER AGAIN. At the end, still not satisfied, he handed the phone BACK to me. I listed yet again and then gave the phone back to dad. Well, by the time she spent over an hour on the same call, SHE finally hung up on US!!!! Dad and I nearly killed ourselves laughing over that one!
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 4:02 AM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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parrothead1234
Posts: 712
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About a month ago - a coworker told me this one. His wife was out somewhere. He's up stairs changing the diaper of the youngest - when the phone rings. He suspects a telemarkerter but anserws anyway. Downstairs, his 5 year old picks up about 2 seconds before he does. The 5 year proceeds to tell the telemarkerter about her favorite cartoon. My co-worker hears what's going on, hangs up the phone & continues tending to his youngest - with the 5 year old babling away downstairs.
Perfect.
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 4:05 AM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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^^^I can imagine 2 of my kids having done just that.
That is priceless!!!!!
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 4:09 AM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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parrothead1234
Posts: 712
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Thank god for little miracles - eh JD?
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 2:44 PM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Hello.
Mr. Burns?
Yes.
Im Mark from...
OH hey hold up let me grab a pencil I have to set the phone down. Click. 
Go back on with your life
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 3:59 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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Automotor
Posts: 258
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I usually just make a loud fart noise into the phone until they hangup
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| Jun 8, 2008 @ 4:01 PM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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burnslikethesun
Posts: 13,027
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Sounds great Ill take two Rip of these RIPPP
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| Jun 11, 2008 @ 11:28 PM |
Fun with telemarketers!
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luneib
Posts: 732
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When they call I answer the phone but say nothing, then click the phone off lol.
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| Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:39 AM |
Fun with telemarketers! |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 10,955
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"I VAS NEVAH IN ZE VAR! I VAS ONLY FOLLOWING ORDERS! VEE LIVED IN ZEE BACK, NEAR SVITZERLAND. ALL VEE EVAH HEARD VASS YODELING!"
This is what I scream at telemarketers every time they call me.
also....
scream directly into the phone
and then, the classic:
Telemarketer: Hi, is this Renae?
Me: Yes, but I'm a little busy now, can I call you later, at home?
Telemarketer: No, I'm sorry...
Me: Oh, you don't like people calling you at home?
Telemarketer: Not really.
Me: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL. *click*
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