| Jun 11 @ 3:27 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
Oh God someone shoot me now. I can handle the pain but it's taking FORVER to get DONE!! 
|
|
  |
|
| Jun 11 @ 3:42 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
SaintBacon
Posts: 834
|
You think that's bad...try having your bristles yanked out to make paint brushes!  Have you tried turpentine and a match? A bit more painful...but much, much quicker 
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 3:47 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
Some pain is GOOD!! 
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 3:59 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
SaintBacon
Posts: 834
|
Why yes, I believe that you are right. You know, I've never waxed my legs before, but I have waxed my carrot! 
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:07 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
tahoma
Posts: 9,924
|
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal it she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions.
I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the shit out of my friend.
Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair colour......
This was just too appropriate for this thread
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:10 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
I only got a half a leg waxed...my damn back is KILLIN' me!! Where I waxed feels just fine! 
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:25 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
|
Move north honey. After your done...you won't even know you have a back. You'll be at Kohl's buying new panties
Ask any woman the definition of feeling sexy, and they'll tell ya it's getting your down-town stripped. Afterwards anyways. 
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:38 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
willowy1
Posts: 2,519
|
whatagal do you have a date? 
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:45 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
Move North? Grew up in Buffalo, NY...like HELL I'll move North!! I'd rather wax my nether region first!! 
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:46 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
Just A date? As in ONE? Just ONE? Hmmmmmmmm 
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:48 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
|
Move North? Grew up in Buffalo, NY...like HELL I'll move North!! I'd rather wax my nether region first!!
HeeelllllOOO! That's what I'm talking about!!!
Clean the machine baby. Get rid of the welcome mat.
A man shouldn't have to cut through the forest to get to the fruit.
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 5:51 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
whatagal
Posts: 723
|
I got out the weed whacker for that ages ago. That is why I had the blonde moment...it's already GONE...guess I'll have to grow the carpet back to wax.
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 7:25 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
michedkel
Posts: 4,685
|
 I just got home from work and I dropped in on this thread. I must say that I am a huge fan of Brazilian waxing. I wouldn't want to try it though. I did let a girlfriend of mine shave me down there before because she was bald also. It was one of the most erotic experiences I ever had. She started complaining about the stubble the next day and I swore I would never shave every day. And I get really nervous about having a razor around the "boys". I don't want to be a eunuch.
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 11 @ 8:08 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
Always_Striving
Posts: 7,355
|
whatagal.... I'd like to see that. Can you send me a YouTube video link???
|
| |
|
| Jun 12 @ 1:06 AM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
pamdemonium
Posts: 13,473
|
WG...salons offer speed waxing. It's (as the name says) quick. Not painless, but it goes so fast, before you know it, you're in the pedicure chair, just feeling the sting on your legs and having a glass of wine. Don't do it yourself, honey. Let
someone else torture you.
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 12 @ 1:50 AM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
signme
Posts: 8,843
|
Have never tried the waxing process and after reading this thread, I never will!
Thanks for the warnings!!
|
| |
|
| Jun 12 @ 7:50 AM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
pamdemonium
Posts: 13,473
|
Sign...it feels so good, and lasts all summer. Everyone should try it at least once. 
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 12 @ 2:13 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
warrior674
Posts: 4,504
|
Wax on...wax off. 
|
| |
|
| Jun 12 @ 10:07 PM |
I'm waxing my legs...
|
|
signme
Posts: 8,843
|
No no no Pam, I don't mind using the razor every other night in the shower, honest, I don't!! 
|
|
| |
|
| Jun 13 @ 11:18 PM |
I'm waxing my legs... |
|
Palomino
Posts: 7,503
|
I had my legs waxed and a bikini wax (what?! I don't WEAR a bikini!) last month. Actually, it's not that bad and if I could afford to go again, I'd be right there. The girl that did my wax is learning how to make heart shapes on the popo-nono (as my niece calls it...lol)
So anyway, since I couldn't afford to have it done professionally again, I tried the do-it-yourself-kit on my legs. OMG! The pain! I not only had red ras on my legs, but purple blood vessels started popping up! I won't be doing that again any time soon. Good luck with that other leg, Gal.
|
| |
|
|
|
|