| Jun 24 @ 11:15 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,378
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Agree or disagree?
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| Jun 24 @ 11:18 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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keeno
Posts: 1,717
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nope disagree, all i have done the past 3 years is look good.
i've given her a good look and oh yeah i looked real good at her. 
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| Jun 24 @ 11:24 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,300
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If so, I'd be in real trouble. Nope, women are what they do too, and it never hurt a man to be good looking either as far as success is concerned.
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| Jun 25 @ 12:34 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,573
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To an extent, I agree. In our society, a man is often judged by his financial status, which tends to be associated, with what he does for a living. A man of wealth & power is very attractive to many (not all) women. Just look at all the rich old geezers that are married to very attractive women who are less than half their age. You don't really think that those women married the old fart, because of love do you? Okay, if you are thinking of love of money, then you could be correct, but that is about it. Those same wealthy old men, very often are on wife number two (three, four or five), each of which is younger than the previous model. (No, they probably didn't marry for love either.)
Also, successful men, tend to be confident men. Many women find confidence to be a very attractive quality in a guy. Add money to that confidence and they become nearly irresistable. If a guy drives up in a new Porsche, wearing an Omega watch, trust me, he is not going home alone that night, unless he wants to. Conversely, if a guy wears a Timex, works at McDonalds and he drives an old mini-van that isn't going to drive women wild. I'm not saying that no woman is going to be interested in him, but his dating options are going to be much more limited.
For women, physical appearance is probably their single most important attribute, in how they are perceived by others. First impressions are very important and they are almost always visual. If that visual impression is positive, then there is a much better chance of a positive outcome, in what ever the purpose of the contact may be. If the impression is negative, then that must be over come, in order for there to be a positive experience associated with the meeting.
Men are visual creatures. If you don't believe me, try posting a profile with a photo of some stunning young beauty and see how mail you receive in the first week. If it isn't in the hundreds, I will be surprised. It won't matter one bit, what you write in the profile, just post the photo. You will find what the photo looks like, will attract much more attention, than anything else. That holds true in every day life, as well. Beautiful women are always in demand. It may be short lived (some are too high maintenance for me!), but they won't have long to wait, to find another guy.
By the same token, truly beautiful women are often hated by other women, who are less attractive. You see it all the time in the forums. Average to physically unattractive women often insult other women, who have physical beauty. They are referred to as "Barbie Dolls", with the mindset being that if a woman is beautiful, then she has to be a self centered, shallow, bitch. We have all seen the threads and the insults, with such comments in place.
So, not only do men judge women, by the way they look, but women do too. Rail against it, all you like, but it is the way of the world.
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| Jun 25 @ 1:25 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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newlife2006
Posts: 607
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I have to disagree.
I used to have a profile with no picture posted , while the income was stated. The very next day 90% of my mailbox were introductory messages from MD males "passionaltely in love from the first sight " ( "sight"? with no picture in the profile??...  ) and proposing "their hand in marriage".
Then I removed mention of income and posted the picture. The objective of 90% "applicants" shifted to compliments and date invitations and in addition there started to appear "offers" from married cheaters.
Judging from this experience I can say that when it comes to marriage , money is the only concern, while appearance is a bonus. And when it comes to "having fun" , it's the other way around. ...  I wonder if it's true for BOTH genders .. 
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| Jun 25 @ 9:10 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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LipGlossQueen9
Posts: 9,677
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They are referred to as "Barbie Dolls", with the mindset being that if a woman is beautiful, then she has to be a self centered, shallow, bitch.
I don't call them that cos I think they have any certain personality traits, I call them that because I personally find that kind of appearance to be ... repulsive.
If I am what I look like, then I'm not much. Oh well.
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| Jun 25 @ 9:25 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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I disagree.
Women are more of both, IMO.
But then I wouldn't judge on either-look at me!!
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| Jun 25 @ 9:43 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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erehmai
Posts: 4
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Whewwww! i'll offer a new concept! we are spiritual beings having a human experience on this planet! How 'good' or 'not so good' we look is up to the viewer! i.e. How indoctrinated have you been into this false construction of reality that espouses external beauty as oppossed to internal beauty? Who defines beauty? Society has been TRAINED through the means of the mass media to identify someone who would be more ... ummmm... glamorous... than the next. This is how they sell... products!!! people however... are not products!
Granted! And I laugh at this myself!!!! A middle aged grey haired man with a tuxedo and a bucketload of cash in the bank seems to be sexy to younger women. We see it all the time... come on... we do!!!! Take the same man and put him in a low paid position on the economic scale (minus the tuxedo) and the same women wouldn't look twice at him! So is it his money ... or the woman's expectation of him as a provider?
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| Jun 25 @ 9:44 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,300
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Is the question limited to dating, or to life in general? Since this was posted in the General Talk forum I answered in relation to life in general - i.e. success in life, not just in dating and mating.
Being attractive is always a plus, for men and women both. We're all more likely to like someone we find attractive (and I beg to differ about the comment that women dislike other women who are exceptionally attractive - otherwise I'd be hard put to explain why so many of my friends are beautiful - I think you're likely to find that the 'beautiful' women who are being criticized have some not so beautiful traits that may not be as obvious to 'visually oriented' men). I know that I cringe when I see a nice guy playing up to someone that I know is going to have him jumping through hoops before she dumps him like a load of used kitty litter. Equally, I'm overjoyed to see someone forming a relationship with someone I know will deal with him openly and honestly.
I think it's true that women are likely to be attracted to successful men, at least initially - we want the father of our children to provide good genes, which are more likely to be present in someone who's successful, not to mention the fact that we also want a good provider. Men, on the other hand, are looking for someone attractive, partly from a sexual attraction standpoint, partly from a trophy standpoint. All of these reasons may have a lot to do with the high divorce rate - we look at relatively superficial aspects rather than envisioning what someone's going to be like in 20, 30, 40 or more years...they say the problem is that men marry women thinking they'll never change, and women marry men thinking they will...and they're both wrong.
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| Jun 25 @ 10:55 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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1stsignofspring
Posts: 14,600
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and I beg to differ about the comment that women dislike other women who are exceptionally attractive - otherwise I'd be hard put to explain why so many of my friends are beautiful - I think you're likely to find that the 'beautiful' women who are being criticized have some not so beautiful traits that may not be as obvious to 'visually oriented' men).
I agree totally! Many of my friends are definitely more beautiful than I....but they are not friends just for their looks....but their inward beauty as well. Ugly is just plain ugly when you are a manipulator of men, arrogant, and rude whether you are beautiful on the outside or not!
I have seen some put others down or put down prettier ladies in general but I see a low self esteem level in many cases. So we as women....are not always what we appear to be on the outside.......and most intelligent men already know that. 
On the other hand.....
Women who judge men by what they do are just as wrong...
A man may "do" the very thing that lights his passion and be happy as punch but if it isn't what we call a "proper" career, then some women pass them by. Sometimes the "treasure" is hidden under the dirt.... 
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| Jun 25 @ 10:55 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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pamdemonium
Posts: 13,378
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I can't say I think it's right...but I believe there's a lick of truth to the statement in terms of society.
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| Jun 25 @ 11:53 AM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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if ^^ it ^^ was rewritten to..
a man's greatest valued asset ..from a womans perspective is ..What they do to provide hearth, home and security - not so much what they look like..
whereas a woman's greatest valued asset ..from a man's perspective is.. ...what they look like...
... now what do you all think?... 
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| Jun 25 @ 12:41 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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Say_Yes
Posts: 1,573
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If I am what I look like, then I'm not much. Oh well.
Don't sell yourself short there, LGQ. While you are much more, than just what you look like (as is everyone), you also have the good fortune, of being a very attractive young woman.
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| Jun 25 @ 8:48 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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equuisdancer
Posts: 142
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Sometimes the "treasure" is hidden under the dirt....
Spring, I think you got it exacttly right!
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| Jun 25 @ 9:17 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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capitalview
Posts: 657
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Heaveninawildflower
....they say the problem is that men marry women thinking they'll never change, and women marry men thinking they will...and they're both wrong.
LOL...actually, it seems to be the other way around. Guys expect their women to change - i.e. STOP looking their age and START looking 10 years , 20 years, etc. younger and younger and younger as time goes by . Women , on the other hand expect their guys to KEEP acting the way they used to act during courtship . Alas, neither expectation is realistic. 
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| Jun 25 @ 9:50 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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willowy1
Posts: 2,390
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Human nature is not PC!
We are predisposed to think or feel in certain ways.
Men do judge women by their appearance. Some women may judge men by their profession? I do know some men judge THEMSELVES by what they do for a living and what they acquire along the way.Their self esteem is tied to their job.
Some of the most beautiful people I have ever known were also some of the dullest, self centered people.Which made them unattractive to me. They had no need to develop a winning personality, they were beautiful. On the flip side
I have loved some people who at first glance were not very attractive but shined brightly through their hearts. And became the MOST beautiful.
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| Jun 25 @ 9:57 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 5,802
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well spoken... 
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| Jun 25 @ 10:05 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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Aeromuse
Posts: 1,050
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Willowy is wise 
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| Jun 25 @ 10:08 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like.
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willowy1
Posts: 2,390
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Willowy is killing a bottle of wine. 
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| Jun 25 @ 10:30 PM |
Men are what they do...Women are what they look like. |
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emptypages
Posts: 955
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I think its interesting how you said SOME women judge men by their profession and income, yet implied that ALL men judge women by their appearance, by your wording. Just an observation. 
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