| Jul 2 @ 11:48 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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grumblebear
Posts: 10,125
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psst Tilly...
should I pencil you in for a shower?
lol, thanks
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| Jul 3 @ 8:08 AM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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horizon000
Posts: 754
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Chopper's Horiscope......
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| Jul 3 @ 10:36 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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mailorderannie
Posts: 5,821
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See, this is the reason that I NEED the friggin internet....I'm missing all the important stuff here.
Better late than never...do me please.. Sept. 23
thankyouverymuch
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| Jul 4 @ 11:01 AM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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EternalFlame
Posts: 3,207
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Gypsy darlin...you share a bday with my sister Renee 
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| Jul 4 @ 12:44 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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mailorderannie
Posts: 5,821
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Then no doubt she's a great gal!
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| Jul 5 @ 10:24 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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j_goose
Posts: 1,896
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Oh, shit, mailorderannie. I didn't see you sneak in there. I'll get on your horrorscope here in a sec. Unless Puke wants to take it. {She's better at these than I am}
But we didn't forget about ya.
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| Jul 5 @ 10:32 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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signme
Posts: 8,875
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But you DID forget me. I posted my b-day back on page 3 and never got a horoscope! 
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| Jul 5 @ 10:34 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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j_goose
Posts: 1,896
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shit.
I'll get that one too...
Sept 23
For Mailorderannie....
LIBRA...My god, that's my ex wife's sign.
You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can't make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide.
Libras are trendy and malleable folks. They are funny because they will glom onto something they hated before if it suddenly becomes fashionable. Velour is not entirely lost upon these people.
Libras eat a lot of ethnic food from cultures they don't understand. They single-handedly started the cappucino movement. Ask them why, and they will claim something unintelligible about solidarity.
You constantly worry about what other people think. If you really paid any attention, maybe people would like you more.
They have huge collections of CDs they've never even listened to. Libras give to designer charities. Hollywood is full of Libras. You are the reason butterfly hairpins and parachute pants have made a comeback. Next on the list is those big jam shorts. You probably never threw out your old pair. Hang on to your Winger t-shirt too.
Get a Libra as drunk as possible and he or she will still be able to explain the difference between café latté and café au lait. This is peculiar as the rest of us know that there is no difference at all.
This month, make sure you buy tickets to the Motley Crue concert when it comes to your town. The man of your dreams, (and most people's nightmares) Is waiting in Row 54 Seat 7. Or is it Row 7 Seat 54? Maybe it was Row 5 Seat 47. Better hurry, he's getting up to get a beer, and you may lose him forever.
[Edited on 7/5/2008 10:51 PM]
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| Jul 5 @ 10:51 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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SignMe June 15th!!!
Gemini
Ever heard the saying "Been there. Done that?" chances are it came from a Gemini. They are always changing...they are the eternal Chameleon. You never who you are fscrewing that day.
They have had sex.
A lot of sex.
Probably because they are in a constant state of flux...always looking for the new high.
The biggest turn on for a Gemini is: LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.
Here is just a smattering of places that I know Geminis have screwed: In the elevator of the moseleum of Forest Lawn Cemetary DURING A FUNERAL. Wine cellars in nightclubs. Vip Areas of Theatres. Public Parks. The 18th Hole of a private golf course. In the center of a race track just as the flag was going up. On various Gym equipment at numerous health spas. A football stadium during the SuperBowl. A Balcony railing at Mardis Gras in the French Quarter...just to name a few.
If it's shiny...they will want it. They are big on DRAMA so be prepared for them to set the mood for sex no matter WHERE you might end up. They WILL take the initiative. They live off their charm. If they are male and gay they will still be the greatest f*** your female friend has ever had. Go figure. They are also Voyeurs but always willing to lend a hand ... or any other part of anatomy. If they are depressed, suck on their fingers, that always seems to cheer them up. Their goal is to screw in the front row of the OSCARS when the cameras pans on them so that they can wave.
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| Jul 5 @ 10:55 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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mailorderannie September 23rd!! Libra!
It's not the best time for solo activities -- try to get out in the world and mix it up as much as possible. Things are still getting kind of nutty around the fringes, but that's just where you want to be! Licking your way around the fringes and the nuts!
Your symbol is the scales of justice. They say justice is blind. See your optometrist as soon as possible, you myopic nut. But in the coming month your drive is sure to turn up. And no sense hiding it from anyone - no one really cares.
Ruled by Venus, you make an art form of being a woman. You're skilled at dressing to enhance your assets and using accoutrements like scented candles and bubbling fountains to beautify your environment. But you've also got an excellent mind and sharp wit that your man enjoys sparring with. Your most appealing feature is your eyes, which are often large and full of light. All it takes for you to draw a man in is to bat those long lashes of yours, and let nature take its course
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| Jul 5 @ 10:55 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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mailorderannie
Posts: 5,821
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Oh, it was a little late, but well worth it!
And who says I can't make a decision? Its taken me 2 years to finally commit to moving to Phoenix, but daggum, I'm doing it in 10 days. I've got my big jam shorts packed and ready to go!
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| Jul 5 @ 10:56 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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After all this and everyone got their horrorscope done but poor old Puke...... 
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| Jul 5 @ 10:56 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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j_goose
Posts: 1,896
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Mailorder got the "two for one"
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| Jul 5 @ 10:57 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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j_goose
Posts: 1,896
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Puke, you sure you want it in the public forum? And where's mine? 
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| Jul 5 @ 10:59 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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Do me first....THEN you'll get yours! 
Public, PUBLIC...We want blood on the walls!!! 
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| Jul 5 @ 11:02 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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BandTMom
Posts: 25,187
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Oh crap...am I on clean up duty tonight?
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| Jul 5 @ 11:03 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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signme
Posts: 8,875
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We're all waiting.... 
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| Jul 5 @ 11:03 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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SyndilLucian
Posts: 1,046
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Goose is going to do Puke? What did I just .. oh.. ok I misread that..
carry on
June 26th, never mind what year... (I already feel old enough /sigh)
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| Jul 5 @ 11:04 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread
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LaughTillYaPuke
Posts: 1,822
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Will you just look at my baby picture? Just how much mess do you think I can make?
Don't touch my HAT!
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| Jul 5 @ 11:04 PM |
Goose the Puke's "Horrorscope" Thread |
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Laidback742
Posts: 2,521
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They probably cry at the end of any Jane Austen flick. Can't say I've ever seen one.
They love water sports (jacuzzis/pools/showers/saunas/bathouses...) OK .... who wants to share a shower ..... ?
Cancerians also have a horrible tendency to misplace their clothing. Only because I'm too lazy to take them out of the basket and put them away after I wash them.
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