| Jun 30 @ 11:10 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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signme
Posts: 9,603
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Shoot! The way things have been going for me lately, dinner at McDonalds sounds good! 
But right, I wouldn't want to have to drive a long way or even fly if I wasn't pretty sure what was waiting for me.
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| Jun 30 @ 11:23 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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ash_is_unforgetable
Posts: 837
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Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad to know that others feel similiar to how I feel about this topic.
Emails first, Silver. Aren't you paying attention?
Since when do males pay attention?  Kidding I know some do, just not this one 
Sign- Yes your right if a guy can't be understand/respectful of my reasonings, then he's someone that I don't care to know, it shows he has no patience and that he's immature if he's gonna stop talking to me all because I said to wait a bit longer to meet. (And if I wanted immature I'd find a guy whose younger then I am or something like that. lol)
Aero- Your right about meeting someone and how that person is still a "stranger."
Silver- Your like most guys in the sense that most guys aren't fearful when meeting a women. But now adays with all the crazy stuff going on in the world, do you or do you think other guys realize how scary it can be for females?
-Ash
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| Jul 1 @ 1:36 AM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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sweet5red
Posts: 8,143
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ash you just use your common sense.. and your gut instinct.. its usually right.. always meet in a public place and let the guy drive to meet you if its over so many miles away...Sweet N Louisiana
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| Jul 1 @ 10:55 AM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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in my experience....
it takes a meeting of the minds to determine the speed..
there is nothing sadder imho than two ships that pass here that never meet just because one is frightened of what may be...
being careful is paramount.. but really.. to say..
First off, I have gotten emails from men and after a email/messenger conversation or two, they expect to talk on the phone
is not going to happen in all cases is potentially missing out on a possible match
mho is.. people are different in email.. and on IM.. and the phone is really the best way to see if there is a connection ..as the inflections of voice comes through 
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| Jul 1 @ 11:46 AM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,819
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Well, there's exceptions to every rule Gallows 
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| Jul 1 @ 11:51 AM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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 ... the exceptions rule 
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| Jul 1 @ 11:53 AM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,819
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Yeah they do!
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| Jul 1 @ 12:22 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,143
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I almost never ask for a lady's number, but there are particular reasons for this that do not apply to most other men. I live in a cell phone dead zone. And I don't mean just my house. There are NO cell phone towers in my area. We just don't have the population to support the expenditure by any of the companies of putting one here. And Kansas, unlike most other parts of the country, was never wholly controlled by the Bell groups. We have a number of small independent local phone providers throughout the state. I think my local phone company serves 2 counties. So, I don't have free long distance like most cell phone users have. On top of that, I am a veteran of the old MSN chat rooms. And I type for a living. So being on IM costs me nothing more than I'm already paying, is real-time as opposed to e-mail, and I'm quite comfortable with it as a means of carrying on a conversation. There has been a time or two over the last 3 or 4 years where I was talking to a lady online, and she would come right out and ask me if I HAD a phone. I guess they were curious as to why I never asked for their number. I've since learned to explain it sooner so they don't wonder, and if they want to call me I'm more than happy to take their call. But I'm not paying long distance charges. On the rare occasions I have to call someone, I will ask them if they have free long distance, and if they do, could they call me back.
And none of that addresses the unique situation of modern technology making it possible to "know" someone without ever meeting face-to-face. Before the explosion of the internet, the practice was to see someone in person and ask them for their phone number. Now, people give out their e-mail addresses and phone numbers, and are hesitant to meet in person, and I'm not sure I understand that at all. Coffee in a public place with someone you've exchanged e-mails with for a while and know you have at least something to talk about with is certainly no more potentially dangerous than being in a bookstore/coffeeshop or bar and having someone who is a complete stranger up to that point offer to buy you a beverage. And no one thinks twice about that. In fact, I often see the line "I'm tired of the bar scene, wasn't meeting anyone right for me there, so decided to try this." So, if you were willing to meet complete strangers in public, why are you nervous about meeting someone you've at least talked with by e-mail and phone?
People who hide their true selves have done so in person, in letters and by whatever means of communication were available. Those kinds of people were lying to people they met at the grocery store and sporting events and PTA meetings about whether or not they were married, or whether or not they were serial killers, long before the internet came around. If I can tell within a couple of e-mails and an hour or two on the phone or in IM with someone that I really like them and want to know them better, I will suggest meeting up as soon as possible. Why wait? Meet and find out if the "spark" is there in person. If not, you know and can move on. If it is, well, you can move on to the next step, I suppose.
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| Jul 1 @ 12:34 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,819
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No need to be so damn sensible and right all the time Nightowl 
I also live in a no cell phone area. I feel your pain bruthah! 
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| Jul 1 @ 12:50 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Nightowl001
Posts: 4,143
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No need to be so damn sensible and right all the time Nightowl
Sorry. Davy Crockett said: "Be sure you're right, then go ahead." I always thought that was good advice. 
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| Jul 1 @ 12:56 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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he also said... the Alamo looks like a nice place to visit... 
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| Jul 1 @ 1:00 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,819
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And I say.......you're both nuckin' futz!
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| Jul 1 @ 1:02 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Gallows_Humor
Posts: 8,063
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 ....
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| Jul 1 @ 1:04 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,149
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Aero ~ did you mean f***ing nutz?? 
Ash ~ I already mentioned I know it is a scary proposition for a lady to meet a man for the first time... see >
I do understand why a woman would be reluctant to meet a man for the first time ~ especially if only after a few conversations..
[Edited on 7/1/2008 1:07 PM]
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| Jul 1 @ 1:06 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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Aeromuse
Posts: 2,819
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You catch on quick Silver!
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| Jul 1 @ 1:07 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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Silver1961
Posts: 4,149
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| Jul 1 @ 1:44 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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Heck.................I like to talk on the phone after a few emails....if Im interested. I think you can find out alot about the person. I have gut instincts which I trust. and I have met some great men.....after a few phone calls...if local......if they are from out of state. well its after a couple months of on phone talks. All have turned out to be cool men....and still maintain friendships
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| Jul 1 @ 3:18 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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theblessedone
Posts: 172
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I've met more than 100 guys from the internet world (over the course of several years). Most of them I met after a couple e-mails and/or phone calls (excluding a few who lived too far away to make that practical). I always preferred to meet sooner, rather than later, as I learned early on the 'dangers' of virtual attraction.
In general, people are inclined to think that I've been lucky to have met so many guys, with no untoward happenings. I'm not one who believes in luck, per se, though I'll be the first to admit that I've pushed the envelope more than many others would have. On the other hand, I've always trusted my instincts. While I did meet 100+, I turned down the opportunity to meet at least ~20-30 more guys, mostly because I didn't have a good feeling.
My style is not one I would necessarily recommend, as I've known a lot of people who were perhaps more trusting than I, or were less astute with 'gut feelings.' In those cases, I advocate far more caution than I have practiced.
Thankfully, I was rewarded for my years of meetings and chats, IMs and phone calls, and countless e-mails...I recently married a wonderful guy that I met through...MD!
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| Jul 1 @ 5:46 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone?
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,448
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it takes a meeting of the minds to determine the speed..
there is nothing sadder imho than two ships that pass here that never meet just because one is frightened of what may be...
Mark it on the calender. I agree with Gallows 100%.
There is no set right or wrong time. It does depend on the individuals and how they connect.
Fear is a terrible relationship killer. I'm not talking about fear of murderers, etc., but fear of a connection and how that connection may change your life.....even if the change is for the better.
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| Jul 1 @ 5:52 PM |
How long before phone convs. and meeting someone? |
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painter007
Posts: 15,990
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 ^^^^^^^^^^^
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